Never the Same
by BakuhatsuSeigi
Summary: Every fiber in his being, demonic and human, told him that this miniature sun that was standing in front of him and attempting to burn out his eye balls was a genuine angel.  Fallen!Castiel/YellowEyedDemon!Dean.  M for safety reasons.
1. The Pit Part 1

Never the Same

**Summary: **Dean Winchester is raised from perdition by an Angel of the Lord, Castiel. Unfortunately, he has become a demon, one who has surpassed his teacher as a master torturer in Hell. But he's still the same Dean, right? Wrong. He's a yellow eyed demon with some very loyal followers and a desire to get some payback on the God that dared to put his Sammy in harm's way. Fallen!Castiel/Demon!Dean, Crowley and Alastair tag-a-longs

All Characters in this work of fiction © Eric Kripke and the CW

I mean no infringement and am not making any money off of this, because that'd be stepping on toes and that's not me.

This crappy idea is mine and no one else is to blame for the train wreck that will no doubt come.

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><p><strong>Location: The Pit. August 18, 2008.<strong>

Dean was in his little piece of Hell, torturing damned souls like the fucking pro he was while listening to Metallica.

He'd been there since he broke down and agreed to take up the knife over ten years ago. And look at him now. Alastair was officially his bitch and he had a horde of demons completely loyal to him, which was freaking boss.

To be honest, he was happy down here, or as happy as anyone who was covered in blood and surrounded by screaming souls could be. Being the demon he was, he was probably like the proverbial fat kid who got ten chocolate cakes with extra frosting and everything.

The only thing that could make him happier was having Sammy with him.

But Dean would never want his baby brother to see Hell and he intended to keep it that way too, even if it tore him up inside.

It was when Dean started thinking about Sammy again, like _really_ thinking about his big oaf of a brother and missing him and his bitch face, that the master torturer noticed Hell beginning to shake.

The elder of the Winchester brothers shielded his eyes from the blinding white light that enveloped his room. But he could hear the souls around him scream in pain and what he assumed was joy because this light was something holy and it burned them so bad with its light that was so filled with love. The power of this light made Dean's skin burn and his soul writhe in his body with its pure intensity.

Something landed in front of Dean. It was a huge mass of light that had the vague outline of a human in it. But obviously this thing wasn't human. It had huge fricking wings spread out behind it and wore this shimmering silver-blue armor that seemed to be alive.

This was an angel. An Angel of God. Every fiber in his being, demonic and human, told him that this miniature sun that was standing in front of him and attempting to burn out his eye balls was a genuine angel.

And then, the light suddenly died down and Dean could see a dower young man standing in front of him. The guy was probably a little bit older than himself, but he kinda looked like the scruffy accountant type with his sad blue eyes and short, neat yet messy, brown hair. Except he was wearing medieval-looking battle armor instead of a suit.

"Dean Winchester. I am Castiel. I have come to raise you from perdition," the angel spoke in a deep monotone that sounded all business and no fun.

"A little late for that, don't you think?" Dean countered in a mocking voice and a flick of his knife.

His knife was a work of beauty, kinda like Lucy Liu in Kill Bill. She was a switchblade, something that he wouldn't have considered to be his thing before, but she was just so damn good to him. The pretty little thing had a black handle that was as black as his Impala's paint job and a seven inch black blade that just slid out real nice and fast. She was sturdy with an edge that could peel cells apart if he wanted and a wicked serrated edge on the reverse for when he felt like making things messy. She even had symbols etched into her blade so that he could kill demons if he felt like it. Yeah. She had been real good to him.

And now he was going to show this angel what his little baby girl could do. Or he would have if those baby blues of the angel hadn't fixed the most torn up look on him.

"So, I was too late," the angel spoke again, but this time his voice sounded remorseful and Dean wanted to see what other emotions this angel could produce with his voice.

"Well, maybe not," the demon spoke, a flirtatious smile making an appearance on his lips, "Maybe you can save this damned soul."

Dean's eyes flashed from that intense, creepy, marble yellow that he remembered Azazel wearing to his human forest green as he walked up to the angel and ran his knife lightly under the holy warrior's chin. He could feel the hum of the angel's power trying to cleanse his own demonic presence through his knife and it made him shiver with a twisted melding of pleasure and pain.

"Yeah, maybe you can save this soul," Dean purred seductively, locking the scruffy angel's hopeful gaze to his own as he moved closer and pressed their lips together. The demon smirked as he felt the radiant being in front of him tense up, but Dean persisted in this kiss, pressing their lips together a little harder to draw out more painful pleasure for himself.

The angel, Castiel, pushed Dean away from him and backed away hesitantly. He was shocked that he had allowed such an impure being to taint his lips. But at the same time, he was bewildered by the strange feeling of electricity running through his body when Dean Winchester had settled his lips against his own.

Castiel shook his head. He recalled that his brothers were waiting for him outside of this room in the Pit and that he should hurry and retrieve the Righteous Man. But this man, he was no longer human and Castiel wasn't sure what to do. Dean had told him that he might be able to save him after all, but Castiel wasn't sure how that could be done. Not when the demon had fallen so far already.

"I swear, I can see your thoughts running through your head. Your eyes really are windows to your _soul_, Cas," Dean chuckled and noticed the angel fixing a confused look on him, coupled with a head tilt that made the warrior look so innocent it should have been a crime.

"I don't understand. I am an angel of the Lord, Dean Winchester. I have no soul. And who is this Cas? I am Castiel," the angel questioned and looked around the formerly dark, but still dirty room that they currently occupied. As far as he could tell, none of these humans present with them were named Cas.

The demon felt his jaw fall slack for a moment, amazed that this angel was so naïve. But he picked up his jaw and chuckled, amused that Castiel was like a baby in a suit of armor.

"I wasn't saying you had a soul, buddy. I was just using one of those-what are they called? Oh, right. Metaphors. I was using one of those metaphors. And Cas is the nickname I gave you," Dean clarified for the confused angel.

But he took one more look at the sad, scruffy accountant warrior before he pulled him down for another kiss and made this one dirty, with tongues, teeth, blood and everything. This time, the angel seemed to yield a bit, though he was still a mostly passive participant. And that was ok, because things were just beginning and Dean had a lot of plans for this angel of the Lord. So, when he felt the angel beginning to struggle again, he switched things up and made the kiss one that was chaste and sweet and filled with something that was like love, but it wasn't.

Castiel was confused by everything that he was doing with Dean Winchester. He felt dirtied by the demon and yet he was drawn to the humanly green eyes of the Righteous Man. But he wanted to get away from the kiss. It felt dirty and wrong and-and then it became the most glorious and innocent thing he had ever experienced. The kiss was chaste and so full of love that he felt that Dean might have actually become connected to the Host for a moment. This made the angel stop his struggling and accept the kiss and the embrace and feelings that it made him experience. He finally returned the kiss.

Inside his head, Dean was smirking because he couldn't let the angel know what he was up to or the pretty thing might run away from him. But as he kept Castiel distracted, he had Alastair sneak off and tell the demons to fight harder and kick the angels out of the Pit, leaving his angel all alone and trapped in his grasp.


	2. The Pit Part 2

Never the Same

Part 2

**Location: The Pit. September 1, 2008. **

Time works differently down in the pit. A day down below could be a second up topside and forty years could pass in Hell before the leaves have even begun to change color on Earth.

That worked fine for Dean. It gave him plenty of time to train his pretty angel and get Castiel to be obedient to him and only him. And things were going well.

Castiel honestly believes that he can save Dean Winchester. Purify his soul and bring the Righteous Man back to the ranks of God. It just requires some unforeseen sacrifices and having to learn some things that angels would have never needed to know in Heaven.

For now, Dean and Castiel are just trading kisses and quick, dirty touches that the demon has to sometimes coax Castiel into doing and sometimes it's the angel that starts things up. But they're great, at least to Dean, and they're really starting to work both of them up. However, Dean puts a hold on moving things any further than just kisses and touches because he's not super sure what would happen if he got the angel to do the things he had imagined with him. For all he knows, he really could be killed by the angel's grace, even if it was a little bit dirtier than when he originally came into Hell.

Castiel is the first to pull away from their current kiss and he looks to the demon with half lidded dark blue eyes that make Dean shiver with anticipation. He pushes Dean down onto the bed they're occupying and hovers over him with those pleading eyes boring into the demon's black soul.

"Dean," his pretty angel moans and Dean knows what Castiel wants. They both want it, but he can't give it to him while they're down under.

"Yeah, I know, Cas. I know," Dean soothes Castiel and runs his fingers through the angel's feathers, messing them up and smoothing them down again like his holy warrior likes. His action draws out a sound that's like bird chatter and Dean's not sure why, but it sounds hot and he can't resist kissing those pouting lips again.

"Sorry to interrupt you love birds, but we've got business, Dean," an accented voice cut in from the entrance to his room and Dean groans as he sits up.

"Not now, Crowley," Dean growls, but nonetheless rises from his comfortable spot and moves Castiel aside, the angel moving without a complaint. He really doesn't want to deal with the Scotsman at the moment and is fully intent on just slamming his nonexistent door in his face too. But then the demon wearing the middle aged literary agent makes a face that contains far too many warning signs for Dean to ignore. Being the younger demon and in no real position to kick Crowley out now, Dean shrugs his shoulders and takes a seat on his bed again.

"Alright. Fine. Talk. But make it fast, Crowley. I'm in no mood to deal with your smug ass face for too long," he grinds out, his voice strained with anger and his eyes flashing to marble yellow to make sure his point is crystal clear. But then Castiel is there, kneeling beside the Righteous Man and resting a wing lightly against Dean's back to get him to relax and calm down so that he can listen to the Crossroads Demon.

Crowley looks around the room in distaste before he finally enters and conjures a chair for himself to sit on. He has no qualms about Dean or his choice in bed mate. Hell, he would be a hypocrite if he did, especially after all the lip locks he'd been in and honestly enjoyed in his business.

"Much as I would love to never see your face again either, we have a deal, remember?" the self proclaimed King of the Crossroads says in a rather light tone, but it suddenly becomes serious and dark, "We've got a problem here. Alastair, you know, your mentor and former butt buddy? He's trying to free Lucifer from his stock with Lilith and scads of other, lesser, demons."

Castiel tenses at Crowley's words and Dean can feel it. It makes the demon nervous, so he turns a steely gaze on his rather unwilling comrade. A frown is fixed on his expression and he's serious too.

"What happens if Lucifer breaks free?" Dean asks, taking note of his angel's almost wide eyed expression, which was more of a very minute widening of his eyes that wouldn't have been noticeable if no one was searching for it.

Crowley shakes his head. He almost wants to laugh, wondering how in the world he ended up in a partnership with the King of Morons, Dean Winchester. But then he remembers. It's all for the chance to rule Hell and to make the damned place run the way he wants it.

"Apparently, they want to start up the Apocalypse. A big all out, world ending brawl between Michael and Lucifer. If you ask me, that doesn't bode well for your precious Sammy," the Scotsman elaborates and he's ready for Dean's outburst, because, even though he hasn't known the boy for too long, he's easy to read.

Dean goes cold at the thought of his baby brother in danger, but that cold quickly turns into a fury that burns so hot he feels like he's being consumed by hellfire. And Castiel probably feels it too, because the angel is pulling away from him like he's been burned.

"Cas, did you know about this?" Dean asks, his voice strained with his anger, but he's holding himself back, holding back all the fire and venom that wants to escape from him. And he does this all for his pretty angel, who's looking at him, shameful and full of fear and guilt.

Castiel forces himself to look away from Dean. The demon already has the answer he was looking for, so the angel doesn't feel compelled to answer. Instead, he pulls away a little more and lets himself feel shame in front of Dean and the demon Crowley. But then a hand is there, it's Dean's hand, and he's being pulled back. And he can feel another hand on his wings, smoothing down the feathers that had puffed up with his anxiety, allowing him to relax and making him fall further into Dean's embrace.

"You are the Righteous Man, Dean. You are the only one who can both start and end the Apocalypse," the angel speaks slowly and he looks up when he feels Dean's hands stop and can feel the other demon's eyes bore into him.

"We're going topside," Dean suddenly announces and Castiel sits up, staring at the demon with a confused expression and the slight tilt of his head.

"Ah-ah. I've got my hands full with Lilith already, Dean. You'll be on your own, for now, but we'll meet up again. Until then," Crowley says with a smirk and vanishes, his chair coming along for the ride.

The hunter wants to curse Crowley for leaving so suddenly, but he knows the Crossroad Demon is up to something, so he leaves him alone, for now. If Crowley can get his plan going then that will just make things easier for Dean, though he knows that things won't be easy in the first place with Lucifer involved. Dean falls back heavily onto his bed and sighs. He's worried about Sam now and he's pretty sure he won't be able to rest until he's able to protect his little brother again. But then he remembers Castiel is still sitting beside him and he looks to the angel again after what felt like hours, but was only minutes.

Castiel is still staring at Dean and well the demon's creeped out just a little, because it feels like he's staring into his soul and seeing all the taint and darkness trapped in there. It makes Dean feel oddly guilty. So, he forces himself to look away and shakes his head.

"We will need to prepare before you are ready for Earth again, Dean," the angel states simply and looks away as if he read Dean's mind. When Dean doesn't refute his statement, Castiel hums softly and reclaims his spot beside the demon. He makes himself comfortable and closes his eyes, finding comfort in the Righteous Man's presence.

Dean's a little uncomfortable at first with Castiel's closeness. When the angel is close to him like this, he feels electricity go through him and it feels like nothing he's ever felt before. He's afraid he might be getting too close to Castiel, but he also knows that if he's thinking about this now then it's too late to get away. So the demon submits to the feeling and closes his eyes too, letting the feeling of content sweep him away while he still has his peace. He knows he'll be busy when he gets up again, but until then, he's satisfied with curling up with his angel like this.


	3. The Pit Part 3

Never the Same

Part 3

Note: I'll admit, this isn't my best work. But I want to get The Pit out of the way so that I can move along. Though this was sort of amusing for me and I hope it's amusing for you, the reader too.

Oh and...yay for soldiering through a minor writer's block. This was strangely difficult to write. *sigh*

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><p><strong>Location: The Pit. September 3, 2008.<strong>

Castiel has Dean's resurrection planned for a specific date a little over two weeks from now topside.

But down in the Pit, those two weeks will be a little under ten years in his little slice of demon Heaven. So Dean has his hands full training his legion of demons while keeping Lilith and Alastair unsuspicious. If they do come snooping around, he just tells them that he's trying to make a new breed of demon that's nastier than their bunch of kindergarteners, which isn't a complete lie.

It's honestly hard work, but the hunter knows what he's doing and he's making sure the demons that are working under him can handle what other hunters will dish out.

Dean runs the demons through tests, which range from being shot with rock salt and iron to listening to Castiel recite holy scripture. The hunter is also enforcing a strict rule of taking only vacant vessels as hosts and using the angel to check if the souls have really left or not. This makes life even harder for the demon underlings and it's all very painful, but his legion holds on and remain firm and loyal to Dean because he's their 'father' and their everything down in Hell. And it's true, because Dean was the one who tortured each and every single one of them, broke them and offered them a chance to inflict that pain back on other souls so that they could become demons too.

In total, Dean thinks there might be a couple hundred demons that he's personally turned, but he's not sure. He just knows he's been busy down in the Pit and that his work has been slowing down since Castiel entered the picture. But that's not a bad thing, because at the rate he was going, Hell was going to run out of damned human souls for him and his 'children' to torture and convert. Dean's not sure if that's a good or a bad thing anymore, but he does consider the younger demons his children and he'd be damned if he let any of them go without at least being prepared for the hunters out there.

So, at the moment, Castiel is out dousing the kids with holy water while Dean is back in his torture room to keep up appearances.

Honestly, Dean has had a lot on his plate recently, so he's kind of preoccupied thinking while tearing a soul open on autopilot. But Dean is roused from his thoughts when he hears a faint rapping at his chamber doors.

The demon sighs, his eyes flickering yellow for a moment, not because he was annoyed that someone was disturbing him, but because his thoughts were becoming poetic and he was definitely not a girl like Sammy. Though his torture methods are like a fricking work of art, but that's not the point.

Nonetheless, he grunts a "come in" and continues his work on the soul of a red headed teen who ended up in Hell because he was a stupid snot and murdered his best friend over a girl and then killed himself out of guilt. The girl isn't even that pretty or particularly nice from what he has seen of the kid's memories either, which, in Dean's book, make him that much more a loser.

The demon has the soul lying face down on the rack and has begun to pop ribs from cartilage when his door finally opens and Alastair comes walking in wearing an older gentleman who is probably the pediatrician the demon's been bragging about for a while. While Dean wouldn't admit that the meat suit his mentor is wearing isn't half bad looking, it isn't, but that doesn't matter because Dean isn't gay.

He likes boobs and the sounds that women make when he's with them and the eyes that they make when they look at him. Ok, maybe he likes Castiel for those same reasons, minus the boobs. But that was the only exception and besides, angels are supposed to be genderless. So it's technically not gay. Right?

Dean's fuming inside his head again because these were the thoughts he has been having for a while now, but he's unwilling to bring them up with anyone, especially Castiel.

"Having a hard time getting it up, Dean?" Alastair asks with a condescending smirk that makes Dean want to rip his eyes out, but instead the hunter lets his knife slip and dig into the soul's left lung so that there's a blood curdling scream distracting him. However, the older demon is still watching and his smirk just grows, knowing that he's touched a nerve.

"You never could shut your trap, could you, Alastair?" Dean threatens as he pulls his knife out of the red head and turns to cut Alastair because he's gotten that close. But he misses when the other backs away with an amused grin and this leaves him feeling rage not unlike what he normally feels around the master interrogator when he pushes his buttons.

Alastair chuckles and taunts Dean by waving his finger like he's some teacher scolding a rebellious student. "Ah ah ah, Dean. You Gryffindors certainly need to learn to keep your tempers in check," he says and barely holds back a laugh at his former student's wide eyed expression.

Dean stares at Alastair like he's grown three more heads for making a Harry Potter reference. Seriously, a Harry Potter reference? But Dean holds himself back this time and just wants Alastair to leave as soon as possible because he suddenly feels like crap and just wants to sleep for a while.

"Listen, I'm tired of your games, Alastair. Just tell me what you came here for and get out," Dean grinds out and wipes the gore off his baby with the shredded remains of the soul's t-shirt before returning his attention to the older being.

It seems that Alastair is finally tired of dawdling about too because he concedes to Dean's words and gives a shrug of his shoulders before he begins to speak. "Lilith wanted to know if you have any idea where Crowley could have run off to," he relays to the younger demon, annoyed that he's being used as a messenger, "Barbie wants her Ken back, after all."

Dean wants to cringe at the mental image of Crowley and Lilith being lovers, but he resists and gives a shake of his head in response to the question. "Haven't seen the sneaky bastard in a while. Maybe he went back home to get some more Lucky Charms," he replies with a smirk and is amused to see that Alastair can't help but crack a smile too.

Alastair coughs to rid himself of the smile and puts on an air of business again, trying to be professional, but he knows it doesn't suit him. "Yes, well, if you see Crowley, send someone to tell Lilith. I have business elsewhere," he says and walks out of the room, allowing Dean to finally relax.

The yellow eyed demon grins and turns back to his current victim, ready to peel apart muscle fiber when a flutter of wings distracts him. He curses his bad luck and plants his knife firmly in the soul's back, piercing the teen's heart as he walks over to Castiel who's watching with a frown.

"Dean, I don't like what you are doing to this soul," the angel speaks in his gravelly voice over the screams of the soul, but then Dean is in front of him and the demon is staring Castiel down.

The scruffy angel can only look back at the Righteous Man with bewilderment as he is suddenly lifted by the back of his collar. The position is not comfortable at all with his armor digging into his under arms and sides awkwardly, but it also leaves him sort of unable to break free of the strange hold because his arms have suddenly been limited in their movement.

"Stay outside until I'm done. Got that, Cas?" Dean says in an exasperated tone, but there's a command laced in with his words as he promptly sets Castiel down outside the torture room. He then slams the door shut behind his angel.

Castiel blinks as the door closes behind him and tilts his head to show his confusion. He can't help but think that he has just been put out like some sort of domesticated animal.

Suddenly the door opens and Dean is there, a wide grin on his face as he deposits a ball of blue yarn in his hands before closing the door again. Looking down at the ball of string, Castiel is now positive that he is being treated like a domestic pet.

This realization makes him frown as he is not pleased by the idea. But after having learned a thing or two about revenge from Dean, Castiel decides to put off retaliation until a later date. However, he does think his plan will have to "one up" what Dean has done to him, so Castiel begins plotting and, admittedly, he is not very good at it.


	4. Lazarus Rising Part 1

Never the Same

Part 4

**Location: Outside Pontiac, Illinois. September 18, 2008.**

Today is the day that Castiel sets their plan in motion. The kids are ready and Dean is raring to go. Actually, he was all for it up until he found himself regaining consciousness in a small dark place that he figures out is his own grave. It's not exactly what he wanted to wake up to.

"Goddammit, Cas!" Dean roars in his own meat suit and quickly begins to claw his way out of this smaller pit because he knows suffocating, even if he is a demon, _sucks_. It's up there on his list of worst ways to die right below dying in a fiery plane crash.

It takes some time for Dean to dig himself out, but when he finally hits fresh air and breathes in a deep lung full he starts cursing himself. He's a demon now! He could have just blasted all the damn dirt away with just a thought and walked out of the hole like it was nothing! But he didn't and that's the past now, so Dean grumbles to himself and brushes the dirt off of his clothes.

Dean flinches when he brushes a hand down his left arm and frowns at the pain. He quickly takes off his jacket and shirt and curses out loud again at the sight of the hand print burned into his left deltoid.

"Oh hell no. No no no. Cas, you kinky sonovabitch!" he actually yells out into the flattened field around him, trying to vent some of his rage.

The demon knew Castiel was going to get him back for his pranks, but a brand was going too far as far as he was concerned. This is a mark of ownership. It's not a silly little tattoo people get when they're drunk off their asses in Vegas.

But then the hunter forgets about it and is at least thankful that Castiel fixed up the rest of his body right. He pulls his clothes back on, making himself tidy because he needs to get moving and figure out where the hell he is and where the hell Sammy is. Once that's finished, Dean heads in the direction he thinks town is in.

He finds a gas station after a bit of a walk. No one is in the building, but it's not like Dean cares. He just steals a few water bottles and chugs them down, because having his body again means he has to at least try to take care of it. He then washes his face off in the sink before taking a look around the place and spots the magazine rack.

"Dean," he hears the angel calling for him, but Dean pretends that he can't hear him and goes to browse the selection of magazines. A huge grin splits the demon's face when he spots a copy of Busty Asian Beauties and picks it up.

"Dean!" the voice is getting louder, but he continues to ignore it and begins flipping through the magazine, whistling when he gets to a page he likes.

"DEAN!" Castiel's voice is now loud enough to shatter glass and makes Dean duck to dodge the rain of sharp shards falling around him.

"Alright! Alright! I hear you, Cas! Just lower your voice!" Dean yells over the ringing in his ears and slowly rises from the glass covered ground. He looks around at the mess his angel has made and frowns.

Dean tries to fix a reprimanding gaze on the angel outside the gas station, but he has to look away because Castiel looks even more radiant now that he's out of Hell. "Look, Cas, we need to talk, but we have to get out of here first. I need to call Sam and Bobby. Make sure they're both alright, you know?" the demon explains while he's shielding his eyes and blindly walking out of the ruined building.

"I understand, Dean," Castiel speaks in a lower tone and then disappears because he realizes that he needs to check on his brothers and sisters too.

Dean lowers his arm when Castiel's light is gone and shakes his head, still unable to understand the angel's actions even after all the time he has spent with him. He runs a hand through his hair in an effort to calm his nerves, but pauses when he notices the phone booth sitting outside the gas station.

It's after Dean tries to make a few unsuccessful calls to Sam and Bobby that he realizes his luck is shit and he'll need to go see Bobby to find out where Sam is. So he hot wires the car sitting outside the booth after stealing some supplies from the gas station and heads out to Sioux Falls to visit his old friend.

Dean receives a welcoming that he really should have seen coming from Bobby Singer, the toughest son of a bitch he knows. It's after fighting with Bobby and proving that he's the real deal by cutting himself with the silver knife, that Dean's finally able to relax and just talk to Bobby. He even gets a hug out of it which was something he really needed after being separated from his family for so long.

"How did you bust out?" Bobby asks after they pull apart. The older hunter is honestly amazed that he's seeing Dean again after Sam and him buried what was left of the boy four months ago. But, as always, Bobby is wary and knows he has to keep his guard up.

"I don't know. I just woke up in a pine box-" Dean stops speaking mid-sentence because he's been splashed in the face with holy water and though it doesn't hurt or anything, he should have seen it coming. He spits out the remainder of the holy water that was in his mouth and looks to Bobby, just a little tired from all the shit he's already had to go through today.

"I'm not a demon either, you know," he lies, thankful that he's immune to holy water so that his lie just goes that much smoother. Dean can't help but feel bad for lying to his father figure like this though and just knows that he's going to have to break the truth to him sooner or later. But for now, he has to continue spinning lies and just get Bobby to help him to track down Sammy because it appears that his baby brother has gone off the radar since his death.

They end up finding Sam in a cheap motel back in Pontiac not too far from where he was buried. And well, Dean isn't really thrilled to find Ruby there with him either, but he pretends not to know her and goes through the whole reassuring Sammy that he's not a monster dance that he had to go through with Bobby earlier too. Thankfully Bobby's there to smooth things out quicker so that they can get through their whole reunion and hopefully back to their normal lives.

But it's obvious that their lives can never be normal again, especially because he's a demon and Sam's probably been juicing up behind his back. It's just too bad that he can't confront Sam about it because that would make things too suspicious.

Time flies by like it means nothing to Dean as he spends time with Sam and Bobby. They meet up with a psychic, Pamela, who gets her eyes burned out by Castiel's true form and then go out for dinner. They're confronted by demons at the diner, but that's nothing because mixed in with the bunch is some of his own kids and they keep those not on his side down and quiet. But later that night, that's when things pick up and Dean's unhappy with the outcome.

Sam's gone out after he thinks Dean is asleep, but the demon isn't and he sits in up in bed, looking up at Castiel who's come to visit him in a vessel by the name of Jimmy Novak.

"Rough day?" Dean asks sarcastically as he runs his eyes up and down the vessel, thinking that the angel and this human look kind of alike.

"More or less," is the answer Castiel gives as he falls to his knees in front of Dean and lets the demon pet his messy hair. He's doubting himself again and is unsure if he can really save Dean's soul after what his brothers and sisters have told him. But Castiel embraces Dean around his midsection and buries his face in the demon's stomach like he's seeking his absolution. And maybe he is, because God isn't speaking to him anymore and he's just not sure what to do.

Dean can see the state of distress his angel is in and feels sympathy for him. As gently as he can, he urges Castiel to rise and join him in bed. He uses kisses and licks to get his angel to come closer and then allows Castiel to climb over him and dominate him like he did in Hell.

"Dean," the angel moans brokenly and presses his hand against the mark he left on the demon's arm, needing to feel that connection he has to the Righteous Man as he continues to ravage the man beneath him with rough kisses and fleeting touches.

"It's alright, Cas. It's alright," the hunter purrs, keeping his hand in Castiel's hair as things become more heated.

But then everything stops and Castiel's gone, leaving Dean a hot blooded mess on the motel bed. The demon knows why his angel's gone and left when Bobby comes rushing into the room just as every piece of glass in the room comes crashing down on him and his ears are ringing and bleeding. He swears he can hear Castiel chuckling in his head as he's hauled out of the room by the old man.

That damn tease.

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><p>Note: Hmm. Yeah, I'm not going to write any lemony bits just yet. That'd be too early in the game. But maybe one will come up soon, seeing as I'm in such a creative mood. *shrugs*<p> 


	5. Lazarus Rising Part 2

Never the Same

Part 5

**Location: Outside Sioux Falls, South Dakota. September 18, 2008.**

Dean's not particularly happy that he's spending his night in a truck with Bobby driving back to the salvage yard and cleaning blood out of his ears. He still feels like he should be somewhere between Heaven and Hell with a sexy angel telling him why he shouldn't look at those dirty porno magazines he likes so much.

But apparently his holy accountant has developed a sense of humor and decided to leave him all hot and bothered. Which would be fine if, well, he had not been caught half naked in bed while the sky was falling down around him and, you know, not had an erection that was really damn obvious for the old man to see. Now that had been an awkward moment and caused a long silence to fall between Bobby and Dean as they evacuated the motel. Not to mention, it's hard to get clothes back on when they're covered in glass shards without cutting yourself up in the process.

_Like the damn mirrors on the ceiling were really necessary_, the demon thought to himself as he found yet another shard of glass nestled in his hair. He promptly threw it out the window and hoped it would somehow hit the motel owner in the eye for his effort.

"I think we need to summon Castiel," Dean suddenly says as he pulls the bloody rag away from his head. He inspects it briefly and then looks away with a disgruntled huff.

Bobby gives the younger hunter a look of disbelief and grunts out, "We don't even know what he is, Dean. It could be suicidal to summon that thing. We already saw what happened to Pamela."

Dean cringes at the remembrance of Pamela. Her eye sockets burned and empty. The psychic's terrified cries as she realized she could no longer see. That was something only he should inflict on humans, not his angel. Never his angel, because he is supposed to be that scruffy, sad looking guy that looks kind of lost wherever he goes with Dean. But the demon has to remind himself that Castiel had come to him as a warrior in full battle gear and that his blue eyed angel really could do some serious damage.

"Shouldn't you call Sam or something? Get his opinion on this stupid idea you've come up with," Bobby's voice breaks through Dean's thoughts and he's kind of numb for a moment until he breaks out his cell phone and dials Sammy's number.

When Sam answers, Dean wishes he was human and that he couldn't pick up the lies that his little brother tells him. That Sam's not at the diner when he really is and is in his baby, the Impala, waiting outside and ready to go kill some demons. And he wishes that he could tell Sam the truth. That, when he came back from Hell, he wasn't the same. He wasn't okay. He was a demon wearing his own meat suit and that the mysterious hand print on his arm wasn't really all that mysterious. It was a stupid prank played on him by his pet angel who's probably more than a pet. But Dean can't tell the truth yet and he lies to Sammy again when he tells him that him and Bobby are going out for a couple of beers before hanging up.

"You sure that was a good idea?" Bobby asks as Dean puts away his cell and though the demon's uncertain, he gives a shrug and sits back in his seat.

"It's better to keep him out of this one," Dean says, making up excuses as they continue on their merry way back to Singer Salvage Yard.

* * *

><p><strong>Location: Singer Salvage Yard - Outbuilding. September 18, 2008.<strong>

A low whistle escapes Dean as he watches Bobby spray paint the building and cover it in various protection wards.

"Hell of an art project you got going there," the demon comments as he takes another glance around the building and then returns his attention to perusing through their stock of weapons again. It's not like they really need them, but it's better to not question Bobby when he's going all out.

"Just about every faith and protection symbol from every religion around the globe," Bobby replies and joins Dean at the arsenal table. But the old man looks up as Dean takes a step to the side and notices the sour look on the boy's face.

"What's got your panties in a bunch?" he questions, but notices Dean is standing in a devil's trap and not moving out of it. Realization hits Bobby like a sack of bricks and he's moving faster than any man his age has a right to. Before Dean can even blink, Bobby's already got a shotgun full of rock salt trained on him.

"You tell me what the hell you are right now before I blast you full of rock salt!" Bobby roars and Dean actually flinches.

Dean knows when he's been caught and he puts his hands up in a placating manner, but it doesn't work because Bobby just cocks the shotgun to make his point that much clearer. The demon begins to sweat a little and he's pretty worried now because he's been shot with rock salt before and he remembers that it was really fucking unpleasant.

"Bobby, calm down. Put down the gun and we can have a nice long talk about this, alright?" he tries to reason with the man who's like a second father to him, but for all his efforts he gets blasted with the gun. Dean's knocked down to the ground by the force of the blast and is clutching at the jagged wounds in his chest in pain.

"What the fuck, Bobby? That hurts!" Dean moans and tries to get up again, but as soon as he moves, Bobby has the gun reloaded and aimed at his head.

He grimaces from both the pain he's feeling and the pain that he sees in Bobby's eyes because the old man believes that he's not him and that he's tricked him. Well, he did trick him, but that's beside the point and Dean thinks he should probably just come out and tell Bobby his little secret now because the shotgun trigger is about a hair's width away from going off and leaving him without a head.

"Alright! Alright. I'm a demon. But I'm not lying when I say I'm still me, Bobby! It's me! It's Dean! I'm just not quite human anymore," he finishes lamely, looking up at Bobby and the shotgun warily.

Dean flinches again and almost feels like crying when the shotgun is moved just a little bit closer to his head. He thinks it's the end of him and that he's about to be killed by someone he considers family until he hears the weapon being emptied. The demon looks up at Bobby in shock, but gets hit in the side of the head with the butt of the shotgun and he thinks he hears an "idjits" thrown in there somewhere too.

"Damn Winchesters. I have no idea how you boys and your father always get in this kind of mess," Bobby growls out and sets his weapon back down on the table with a loud thud. The old hunter shakes his head before fixing a pointed look on Dean, who's just recovered from the blow to the head.

"Well, go ahead. Free yourself," he huffs and waits patiently for the demon to scratch up his hard work with Ruby's knife before speaking again in a more stern tone, "Now, you got some explaining to do."

He looks up at Bobby with a dumb expression, not really believing that he's not back in Hell and that he's still sitting in front of the grizzly old man. But a smile slowly breaks across his face and Dean's kind of happy that Bobby's taking this better than he is.

"Yeah, I guess I do. But I don't want any of this reaching Sam's ears. Can you promise me that, Bobby?" Dean asks in a grim tone as he rises from his rather uncomfortable seat on the ground. He also fixes a look on Bobby that tells the old man he's being serious and that he really doesn't want his little brother to find out.

Bobby is reluctant at first. He wants to tell Dean that they should tell Sam that he's a demon and that family shouldn't lie to each other like this. But it's not like he or Sam don't have their own fair share of secrets that they're not revealing either, so he keeps his mouth shut and just gives a stiff nod.

Dean visibly relaxes when he gets a nod from Bobby, though he's still rubbing at the gunshot wounds he's received and grumbling about why he allowed Bobby to bring weapons in the outbuilding in the first place.

"Now that that's out of the way, I'm not that sure where to begin," the demon admits as he finally pulls his hand away and stuffs it into a pocket.

"How about you start from the beginning. When you first got your devil horns," Bobby suggests sarcastically, but it appears that Dean approves of the idea and takes it from there.

"Thirty years is a hell of a long time, Bobby. I lasted that long before I finally broke and took up the knife," Dean recounts somewhat wistfully, a far off look in his eyes and a small smile on his lips.

But his expression sours again and he looks Bobby in the eye as he remembers something that he's not sure how to feel about. He lets his eyes flash yellow for a moment and he knows he's scared Bobby because the old hunter is backing away from him and cursing him like there's no tomorrow.

"Thought you killed that yellow eyed bastard," Bobby states somewhat out of breath and probably on the verge of a heart attack.

"We did," the demon says, but frowns a bit at his own statement, "It's just that, maybe a little bit of him got left behind in me and in dad. And that part that was in dad somehow got left behind in Hell. And maybe that power that was left behind found the part in me that it thought was familiar and kind of attached itself to my soul. But I'm still me Bobby. I don't feel like that bastard Azazel and I don't feel like fucking up the lives of everyone I see. I still feel like me and that I got to go hunt and that I have to protect Sammy." Dean's grimacing again as he finishes speaking and isn't really satisfied by his explanation, but it's the best he could come up with.

Bobby's frowning too and from the look in his eyes, it's obvious that the gears in his head are cranking and he's trying to accept this new information just as much as he's trying to accept that one of his boy's isn't even human anymore.

Suddenly the outbuilding begins to shake and the roofing is moving around like it's about to be torn off and the wind is howling real bad outside.

"I bet you that's just the wind," Dean says in an attempt to lighten the mood, but Bobby's glaring at him again in a heartbeat.

"I ain't making no bets with you anymore, Dean Winchester," the old man huffs and Dean feels like he's been scolded by his dad.

The lights around them begin to flicker before the bulbs shatter, making Bobby and Dean duck to avoid the shards. Lightning flickers outside and thunder booms and the wind is beginning to sound angrier. The door of the outbuilding are bending inward now and Dean wonders what the hell is outside when the doors suddenly burst open and a familiar outline is seen approaching them, cloaked by a wall of blinding light.

* * *

><p>Note: I totally wrote myself into something I didn't want to do yet. But as I was re-watching Lazarus Rising I realized there was a Devil's Trap like two steps away from Dean and well, that would just be silly if he didn't get caught in it because that thing was framed by the tables. There was no way he could avoid it, so voila. A guilty Dean is forced to confess. This chapter was actually supposed to go in a pretty different direction, but the story wrote itself and I think I like it better this way. Oh and FYI...why is Bobby hard to write? I love the guy, but he is hard for me to write. Kind of like how Alastair is hard to write too, but Bobby's a different kind of hard.<p> 


	6. Lazarus Rising Part 3

Never the Same

Part 6

Note: Yeah. I don't think it's explicit, but the second part of this chapter, the part after the Salvage Yard. You can skip the last...oh third of this chapter if you want. I don't think it's explicit, but people might disagree and report and get this little gem deleted. Oh right, the maybe explicit part is implied sex. Not full frontal nudity mind you, well maybe Dean is, but that's spoiling, now isn't it?

Oh and if you're wondering this at the end, I'll just answer your question now: Yes, I do enjoy teasing people very much.

Enjoy your reading.

PS: Does anyone else think Jared Padalecki's Twitter account jarpad sound kind of...I don't know...dirty? It might just be me.

* * *

><p><strong>Location: Singer Salvage Yard - Outbuilding. September 18, 2008.<strong>

The outbuilding is still shaking, but slowly, things settle down and the blinding light dims as the form of a man in a trench coat enters the building.

"Hello, Dean. Robert," Castiel greets them and Dean's kind of chuckling at the hint of a smile that's on the angel's lips, but kind of quiet at the same time because Bobby's looking pretty unhappy again.

Dean's frozen for a moment, looking between Bobby and Castiel and trying to figure out how to diffuse Bobby and get introductions out of the way too. But the demon doesn't really want to think this over too hard so he just goes straight for the throat and tries his best to get things done quickly.

"Hey, glad you're here, Cas," he speaks up and pulls Castiel over to his side, "Cas, that's Bobby. Bobby, this is Castiel, an angel of God. He's the one who helped me get my body back after the whole thing in Hell." He finishes up and looks between the two again with a weak grin, waiting to see their reactions.

"So you're the Castiel who burned out Pamela's eyes," Bobby states with an angry edge to his tone that makes both Dean and Castiel look away with guilt gnawing at them.

"I warned her not to spy on my true form. It can be overwhelming to humans. As can my voice," the angel explains, looking up at Bobby sheepishly while his head's still bowed.

And though Bobby can't see it, Dean notices Castiel's wings pin themselves to the angel's back in his remorse for what he has done. Dean pulls his angel just a little bit closer and runs his fingers through the soft, silky feathers in an effort to get Castiel to relax and loosen up a little.

"It was an accident. We never meant for it to happen, Bobby. Hell, I didn't know that angels could burn out people's eyes," the demon laments for his angel and looks up just in time to see Bobby giving him another questioning look. Dean's confused about the look he's getting and wonders what it's all about. But a blush stains his cheeks when he realizes what Bobby's trying to get at and he kind of chokes a little. The little sound earns him another questioning look from Castiel.

"Uh, yeah. Me and Cas, I guess you could, y'know, yeah," Dean finishes lamely and looks away from both of the other males in the building with him.

Though poor, the explanation seems to be enough for Bobby and he drops the look with a shake of his head and a huff. "Winchesters," he grumbles with another shake of his head and puts his arms up in surrender.

Castiel on the other hand is still confused, but from what Dean has said, it's obvious this is about them. He's just not sure what the subject really is and gives a tilt of his head as he ponders his question. But a rough pat on the back from Dean shakes him out of his thoughts and he's now frowning at the demon, not very appreciative of the rough treatment.

"Just drop it, Cas. We've got some explaining to do for Bobby," Dean's speaking again and pulls away from Castiel to take up a seat on one of the supply covered tables.

The angel gives a nod and begins his explanation of why Dean was raised from perdition and what God has planned for the Righteous Man. It takes some time, but he feels that this is the best he can do with what information he has been given. Castiel feels a little upset that he can not relay more information when Bobby presses him for it, but Dean tells him that it is not his fault and he accepts the pardon readily.

Dean and Castiel leave Bobby back at his house some time after assuring the older hunter that Dean will return before Sam comes looking. It isn't exactly the most reassuring promise, they know that, but they have business to get down to and an army to run, not that they are going to tell Bobby about this. No. Because that would be downright suicidal.

* * *

><p><strong>Location: Outside Sioux Falls, South Dakota - "The Nest". September 18, 2008.<strong>

The pair are in a manor-like house that's probably only a couple miles away from where they just left Bobby. It's old, but in good shape, aside from the wards and seals painted on the walls to keep other angels and demons out as well as to prevent them from being exorcised from their meat suits. The latter is kind of unnecessary since they all received tattoos of the Devil's Trident while in Hell to keep them protected. But it is always better to be safe than sorry in times of war. And though war isn't here yet, it is approaching fast.

At the moment, the house is buzzing with activity even though it's the middle of the night. Everyone is busy either researching or stockpiling food and cataloging weapons. Some of them are even guarding any potential entrances just in case some humans are enticed into doing the dirty work of their enemies. And in the center of this hurricane of activity is Dean, sitting on the makeshift throne that he's claimed for himself, directing all of their actions in their nest turned fortress.

And then Castiel is there, wearing a worried expression because he's afraid that what he's doing is wrong and that he shouldn't be hiding his presence from his brothers and sisters behind the Enochian seals.

"Cas, calm down," Dean says as he walks up to the angel and smoothes down Castiel's feathers again, because it's obvious he's distressed. The demon takes a cursory glance around the nest and after receiving a few nods of confirmation he returns his attention back to his holy tax accountant. "Come on, let's head upstairs. The kids are practically done with the preparations."

Castiel is reluctant to follow Dean to the bedroom and yet his body moves without his instructions. He knows what the demon wants and admittedly he feels the same desire, but at the same time the angel has never experienced-well, to put it simply, he has never slept with anyone before. Surely Dean must know this because the demon is looking at him with a knowing smile.

"Relax," Dean purrs into Castiel's ear once the bedroom door has been locked behind them and he's kicking his shoes off while trying to undress his angel. The demon smirks a little when he feels the angel shiver and slips his fingers into the silky, soft feathers of Castiel's wings, keeping the other male grounded so that he can't run away again.

"Just relax," he repeats and leads them to the bed, falling back onto the well worn sheets once the back of his knees hits the edge. Dean laughs as he brings Castiel down with him and he can feel the angel's feathers bristling with fear and anxiety.

"Dean, we shouldn't," the angel mumbles and looks away with a blush staining his cheeks. The air in the room suddenly feels hot and stifling and Castiel is nervous, unsure of himself and if he can really go through with this act. But he's shivering again when he feels a bite at a sensitive spot on his neck, followed by a soothing lick that sets his blood on fire.

The demon is reduced to smoothing down angel feathers again, trying to reassure Castiel as best as he can because the holy warrior looks like he's torn between calling for a full retreat and diving in for an assault of another kind. It's kind of amusing, watching the turmoil behind the sad looking blue eyes. But Dean digresses and plants a chaste kiss on his angel's slightly dry lips.

"We don't have to do this if you don't want to," Dean whispers, trying to approach this situation from another angle because the previous one obviously wasn't working. He slowly untangles himself from the angel's body and just pushes himself further back onto the bed so that he can sprawl out and relax while giving Castiel a good view of what he's missing out on. The demon even closes his eyes and stretches like a cat, allowing his shirt to ride up just enough to let some skin show before he's relaxing back on the comfortable bed again.

Castiel is looking at Dean with wide, disbelieving eyes. He's tempted to pull away, but the angel is also certain that he is being tested, so he stays right where he is. The angel frowns, still torn between whether or not he should indulge himself in sin with Dean. He knows he needs to make a decision and the demon lying before him, trying to not so subtly tempt him, is not helping at all.

But then Castiel throws caution to the wind and makes his decision, tired of teetering on the fence. He descends upon Dean and presses his lips hungrily to the demon's neck, biting and licking, desperate for a taste of this man's flesh and everything he has to offer him. His wings quiver with ecstasy at the sinful taste and he begins to pull off Dean's clothes, starting with his shirt.

"You know, we could just-" Dean attempts to speak, but his breath hitches as he's bitten again and his lips are captured in a searing kiss that leaves him dizzy.

"No. I want to do this myself," Castiel growls as he pulls away from the kiss and licks his lips, savoring the sweet and spicy flavor that is Dean.

He continues on his warpath, stripping Dean of his clothes piece by piece until he has left the demon bare. The angel pulls away for a moment, letting his eyes ravage his prize, before he's descending upon Dean again and kissing him senseless. His hands map out the familiar terrain of Dean's body and purposefully linger on the more sensitive areas, pressing just a little too hard to get his treasure to gasp and writhe beneath him.

"Holy-gah! Cas!" Dean cries out and arches up against the angel, reduced to whimpering and shivering all because the sneaky bastard brushed a wing tip against his painfully hard erection.

Castiel tuts, a mischievous glint in his dark blue eyes as he lets a hand drift from its resting place on Dean's hip up to the demon's cheek. He cups his face gently, but his hold is firm and unyielding as he forces Dean to look into his eyes.

The demon releases a low moan. He can see his angel's grace swirling, bright and blindingly white with splashes of black and grey just like his wings behind his human vessel's eyes.

It's a rush that's almost too overwhelming for Dean, but also the last thing he vividly remembers because what came after that was a blur of pleasure, heat, sweat and sex that lasted far into the morning of the next day.


	7. Extra: Dirty Tricks

Never the Same

Part 7

Full Title: Where Dean Forces Himself to Stop Thinking and Learns to Love Cas's Dirty Tricks.

Note: Everyone. Run! Run far away. I'm on a creative tirade!

Nah. I'm kidding. Don't run. Stay. Here. With us. We'll have a ball. *stares*

Ok, no, back to why this is here. It's another explicit stuff warning. This time, I think it might be explicit. Oh and since this is technically a filler, you can skip it too. There's no need to read fillers, right? After all, not everyone wants to deal with nightmare fuel. Yes, I said nightmare fuel. Or if you're kinky like that, it's a free ride to Imagination Land.

Well, enough of that. Read. Have fun. And don't forget to breathe. Or not.

* * *

><p><strong>Location: Singer Salvage Yard - Bobby's House. September 19, 2008.<strong>

Dean had woken up sometime late in the afternoon, fully dressed and lying on one Bobby Singer's sofa. And the first thing he remembered thinking was, _Where in the world did Cas learn to do that thing with his tongue? _

Never mind that he didn't know how he got back to Bobby's place. Sam rather angrily supplied that he came stumbling in like a drunk around nine and went straight to the sofa to fall asleep.

Dean was grateful for his little brother's griping. Really, he was. But he was just so much more interested in figuring out his angel and how a virgin like Castiel completely floored the self-proclaimed King of the Playboys. It was mind blowing, still is actually. Not to mention really distracting for the demon who is supposed to be helping Sam and Bobby research information on angels.

Sam is frowning as he watches his brother's expression fall blank, telling him that Dean's thoughts have drifted, once again. But his own expression becomes stormy once he spies a faint smirk on Dean's lips and he just knows his thoughts are on anything but hunting.

"Dean!" the younger of the Winchester brothers yells as he gives Dean his most wrathful bitch face. "Would you focus and help us out here? Me and Bobby have been doing all the work," Sam finishes with a pointed glare at Dean and then looks to Bobby for back up.

Apparently Bobby has taken up a new hobby of looking anywhere but at the Winchesters for the time being so Sam is left high and dry in his one-sided argument with Dean.

Though Dean has been shaken from his thoughts, he's found new amusement in his brother's anger and decides to poke the moose against his better judgment.

"Come on, Sammy. Relax. You look so much like a bitch right now," Dean chuckles and props his feet up on the kitchen table, only to drop them once he receives a threatening "Don't you put your dirty shoes on my table" from Bobby.

"You're such a jerk, Dean," Sam mumbles and buries himself in the old, musty books again. He never sees the triumphant grin splitting his brother's face.

* * *

><p><strong>Location: Outside Sioux Falls, South Dakota - "The Nest". September 19, 2008.<strong>

Somewhere inside Castiel's mind, Jimmy Novak is freaking out right now. He was awake while Castiel and Dean had their fun and even he was exhausted just from watching. But it's not so much that he's freaking out because of what the two love birds did with his body. It's more like, he's panicking because he enjoyed the show. Every. Explicit. Second. Of. It.

Up until this point in his life, before he was put on like a suit for Castiel to wear, Jimmy was very certain of his sexuality. He was willing to swear on his life and immortal soul that he was one hundred percent heterosexual and completely devoted to his wife.

He had no issues with homosexuals. None at all. He has a few gay friends from work and they're really nice people.

But since last night, he hasn't been able to get the images of Dean, sweaty and moaning beneath Castiel, beneath _his_ body, out of his mind.

Things started off familiar. A drawn out blow job and some sixty-nine. That had been easy enough to handle. He had experienced that with his wife a few times before.

It was then followed by something standard, like the missionary position or a cowgirl, though in this case he supposes it would be a cowboy, and a reverse was thrown in there somewhere too. After that was done and finished, Jimmy found himself amazed by how flexible a muscular man like Dean was, but he let that pass too without much fuss.

Then things started to get really exotic. Actually, Jimmy knew for certain that some of the things Dean and Castiel did were _not_ humanly possible. At least, not without a special effects guy there to orchestrate the whole thing. And Jimmy is pretty sure he's been mentally scarred by the images of Dean and Castiel repeating all of the previous positions on the ceiling too.

At the end of the night, which was actually sometime early in the morning, Jimmy was amazed that Dean's back had not been shattered, or at least broken, by Castiel's enthusiasm. But, in a way, he's thankful that it's over, because he'll never be able to look at wings the same way again. He probably won't be able to look at himself in a mirror anymore either without remembering that night and passing out from lack of blood flow to his brain.

So, now the human is left with memories that will haunt him for the rest of his life and a potentially life changing question. Well, probably not that life changing. Jimmy knows for certain that he will never leave Amelia as long as they are both is alive. But he is questioning his sexuality and wondering if he might actually be bisexual or if this is just some strange fascination with Dean and Castiel's relationship. Jimmy, despite all his reservations, is praying it's the former.

Castiel hears his vessel's prayers and can't help but chuckle as he continues to bask in the glorious afterglow of his first excursion with Dean several hours after the demon's left. He stretches his wings lazily and spreads out on the ruined bed just a little more, allowing himself to completely relax for the first time in his long life.

And, for the first time in his life, Castiel realizes that life is good, not because someone told him so, but because he's actually experienced it first hand. He can't wait to visit Dean again.

* * *

><p><strong>Location: Singer Salvage Yard - Bobby's House. Later that evening.<strong>

"So, you're telling me that you summoned Castiel and you didn't want me there," Sam repeats and his tone is one of irritation and disbelief, still finding the story he had been told a few hours ago just a little hard to swallow. He's stopped eating his salad and is now just watching Dean stuff his face with his fifth burger, feeling just a tiny bit disgusted by the sight.

"Yeah, that's exactly what I said. It went off without a hitch and Cas left not long after we were done talking," Dean says between bites of what he thinks is the most delicious burger he has ever had in his entire life. When he's this happy, he doesn't have the time or the capacity to be angry with Sammy for pestering him.

"And then you went out for a drink, on your own, and spent the night with a girl named Cassie?" Sam's pressing again, suspicion clear in his expression.

Dean snorts at Sam's continued questioning and is just so fucking amused that his baby brother is completely wrapped up in this. "And let me tell you, she was wild in bed," he replies with a grin and passes one of his yet to be devoured burgers Sammy's way. "Now eat up, grumpy. I'm done talking about your lack of a sex life."

"But you saw me with-" Sam tries to retaliate, only to receive a look from Dean and a wink. He deflates and after a shake of his head, he's smiling too. "Jerk."

"Love you too, bitch."

* * *

><p>Later that night, Dean figures that being a demon is more awesome than just torturing damned souls and having nightmare material kinky sex on the ceiling. It's also about stuffing burgers down your throat and never having to fear the feeling of being full. Though he thinks he'll need to remind himself to not eat too many burgers next time because a green faced Sammy is not a happy one.<p>

But, as the night wears on and Sam and Bobby are safe and asleep in their beds, Dean has some time to think to himself. He's still bothered by how much of a kinky sonovabitch Castiel is and wonders if the angel somehow got the ideas from him. Though admittedly, Dean has never tried half that stuff before, ever. He thought that kind of stuff was better left in pornos. And then he wonders if Castiel watched some pornos while Dean was busy dealing with Sam and Bobby. It is a possibility, but it would have had to have been some really hardcore stuff that his angel watched and Dean really doesn't want to think about it anymore.

After last night, Dean thinks he's probably been ruined for the rest of his unnatural life and that he'll never be satisfied by just some missionary with a girl ever again. The thought's really not that bad as long as he has Castiel with him though.

Dean shrugs off his worries and lies back on his bed in one of Bobby's spare rooms. He's not tired, but he's got nothing better to do and doesn't want to sit up all night, bored and by his lonesome. Slowly, the demon relaxes and after a few minutes of just breathing, he lets himself drift off into an easy sleep.

* * *

><p><strong>Location: Dean's Dream - In the Impala.<strong>

Warrant's "Cherry Pie" is blaring from his baby's speakers and Dean's a happy man. It feels like it's been a lifetime since he's been able to just sit and listen to music with the Impala. And even if it is just a dream, the demon appreciates the alone time and allows himself to run a hand over the familiar, cold metal body of his baby as he sits on her hood.

"I missed you so much, baby. Did you miss me too?" he muses as he lays back on the Impala and just wraps himself up in the feeling of familiarity.

But then another familiar presence is there and Dean sits up, only to be pushed back down onto the hood.

Dark blue eyes are peering into forest green again and a slow smile creeps up onto Dean's face.

"Hello, Dean. Did you miss me?"


	8. Are you there, God?

Never the Same

Part 8

**Location: Singer Salvage Yard - Bobby's House. September 21, 2008.**

Things are going from bad to worse for Dean after a day of running around with Sam, looking for hunters, only to find their mutilated corpses. And all of this is after he finds out Sam forgot to buy his pie.

He's sent Sammy out to the yard to look for Bobby while he searches the second floor of the house, but he runs into someone he thought he would never see again.

It's Meg Masters, or at least the human soul that was trapped in the demon-controlled meat suit.

"I kept praying, screaming at you, to help me. You're supposed to save people, Dean. Why didn't you help me?" Meg laments, her voice slowly rising in anger as she stalks forward and Dean steps away from her slowly.

"I'm sorry," Dean whispers again, but Meg punches him hard and he falls to the ground in a dazed heap.

"Stop saying you're sorry, you sick bastard!" she screams at him and kicks Dean hard in the stomach, knocking the wind right out of him. "You were supposed to save me, but instead you became one of those monsters? How are you any better than the demon that possessed me?"

The angry ghost continues to attack Dean even after he's fallen to the ground. But he can't bring himself to attack her back. He knows he can, but she's not a damned soul and even if he is a demon, he still has morals and standards. Meg is an innocent that he couldn't save and that leaves her off his killing list.

"I'm sorry," Dean groans out after he's taken a kick to the face, but he receives another and he can't help but wonder where Castiel is while this shit is going down.

"Sorry isn't good enough!" Meg cries hysterically, grabbing at Dean's collar as she looks him in the eyes.

Dean, at first, can do nothing but stare guiltily at the ghost whose wrath is focused on him. But, out of the corner of his eye, he catches what looks like a brand on Meg's hand.

Meg continues to scream at Dean, but he can't really pay attention anymore. He's probably in shock. When she realizes this, Meg shoves him hard and starts kicking and stomping on the demon in front of her even as he crawls down the hall, trying to escape the assault. "My baby sister is dead because you couldn't save me! I hate you! I hate you!"

Dean immediately feels renewed guilt tearing away at him at the mention of Meg's sister. He knows it's his fault that they couldn't save Meg and Dean can only imagine how much pain he would be in if he lost Sammy again. But he continues to force his body to crawl away from the wrathful spirit and through an open doorway.

Meg laughs dryly as she follows the demon down the hallway and into the room. He looks so pathetic, lying there, on the ground, bleeding and grief ridden. All because of her. And her laughter grows just a little more at the sight of the pistol being whipped out and pointed at her.

"You know bullets can't kill me, Dean. Or have you lost your edge?" the soul questions and she stalks just a little closer.

Dean says nothing, his eyes flashing yellow for just a moment as his anger consumes him. But the color is gone just as quickly as it came and the demon aims his gun up and shoots at the iron chandelier above Meg's head, dispelling the ghost. Once he knows she's gone, Dean lies back on the floor, breathing hard and just trying to pull himself back together again.

"Dean," a voice calls out to the demon and Dean groans as he pushes himself to his feet, afraid that another ghost has come after him. But it isn't and Dean swears he's the happiest man in the world when he sees Castiel standing there in the doorway. He can't help but go right up to the angel and pull him into what would have been a rib breaking hug if they were human.

"Cas, you have no idea how glad I am to see you," Dean says with a smile, but then he pulls away and frowns, gripping Castiel's shoulders tight. "Where the hell have you been?"

Castiel's expression falls a little, but he raises two fingers to Dean's forehead and heals his injuries.

"I have been running between Heaven and Earth. Trying to help my brothers and command the children," the angel explains as he lets his hand fall back to his side.

Dean's looking at his angel and he can see how tired Castiel is. His weariness shows all the way through his flesh and grace and the demon feels sorry for Castiel.

"The children are doing their best to keep The Witnesses away from here, Dean. But Lilith, she is breaking the seals one by one even as we fight them off," Castiel continues to speak, but at the same time lets himself fall into the small haven offered by his lover.

"So, they're called The Witnesses?" Dean questions and receives a nod in confirmation. "And Lilith was the one who summoned them." The demon hums softly as he mulls over the information, but stops when he hears an angry shriek not too far from them.

"We should get out of here," the demon hisses, but Castiel's already a step ahead of him and has them standing outside the salvage yard in the blink of an eye.

Dean's a little shocked by the sudden move, but he doesn't take the time to laugh it off. He can see his children trying to scare off a horde of angry souls with nothing more than iron rods because they're afraid that they'll shoot each other with rock salt by accident.

"Cas," Dean bites out as he takes a step closer to the battlefield, but is holding his hand out to his angel.

"I know, Dean," Castiel replies with a tired smile and hands him the iron rod he has hidden in his trench coat before disappearing with the sound of beating wings.

A smile splits Dean's face as he feels the weight of the metal in his hands. He takes a practice swing before he takes a real one and beats away the ghost of an unfamiliar woman. Probably one of the victims that Bobby failed to save.

But the demon's thinking, that if he can keep all of these guys outside, then Bobby and Sam can handle whatever's already in the house with them.

* * *

><p>A few hours later, Dean's torn up and bloody from his fights and a few friendly fires. But then he feels the wind suddenly begin to pick up and he's getting a sinking feeling in his stomach.<p>

"Father, something doesn't feel right," one of the children, a demon in the body of a twenty something former football player, speaks his thoughts. He's obviously tired, but he still takes a swing at the ghost in front of him.

"You should run back to your brother. We'll hold them off," another child, this one in the body of a pretty blond, chips in. She's smiling at Dean, looking as if she would rather be here, with her family, than anywhere else in the world.

Dean's surprised by their words, but he takes them to heart and flashes a grin before he's disappearing into the salvage yard and running back to Bobby's house as fast as he can.

When he breaks through the door, the house is a mess and Sam's pushed up against the wall by a pair of little girls. Bobby's standing at his desk, finishing up an incantation, but just as the last words leave his lips, Meg's behind him, her hand in his back, gripping his heart.

"Dean!" Bobby chokes out and Dean's running to the old man, catching the bowl that he's dropped. "In the fire! Put that in the fire!"

The demon obeys and throws the contents of the bowl into the fireplace, the flames burning a bright, white-blue color as they consume the offering. Not long after that, The Witnesses disappear and Sam and Bobby look like they're about to collapse, but somehow manage to hold their ground.

"Where the hell have you been?" Sam grinds out after a couple minutes. He knows he looks like hell, but looking at Dean, his big brother looks like he was thrown into a wood chipper and glued back together.

Bobby's giving Dean the same, angry, questioning look and the demon sighs, trying to come up with the best lie he can as quickly as possible.

"Well, you see, some ghosts got to me. They dragged me out of the house and tried to torture me. But I grabbed hold of this crow bar and let them have it. They just let me have it too because they weren't going to let me back in the house," he lies through his teeth and lets his exhaustion show.

Dean kind of just wants to get some food and maybe a little rest, because he never wants to be put in the frontlines of a battle like the one they had today ever again. But he knows more will come and that it's inevitable.

"Sam, go clean up and run out to get us something to eat. I need to have a talk with Dean," Bobby speaks up before Sam can point out his brother's terrible lie. He can see that Sam is reluctant at first, but he listens to his father figure and runs off to make himself presentable.

It's after Sam has left in the Impala that Bobby finally speaks up again.

"What really happened to you, Dean?" Bobby asks in a wary tone and fixes a look on Dean that says he doesn't want anymore lies.

"I was out there holding off the other Witnesses that wanted to get in," Dean sighs and takes a seat on the sofa. His wounds have already healed up, but nonetheless he takes the first aid kit that Bobby hands him and cleans and wraps up his injuries to keep up appearances around Sam.

"Who helped you?" Bobby presses, knowing that he's not getting the whole story.

Dean's eyes widen, but it's a move that's barely noticeable. Something that you would only see if you were looking for it and Bobby was looking for it. The demon has a reluctant look in his eyes, but he gives in and confesses to the older hunter.

"My kids were helping me," he reluctantly reveals this information, but then realizes that he should probably clarify what the kids are. "The kids are the souls I converted while I was in the Pit. They're good kids, really. I trained them to hunt down monsters and other demons," Dean confesses with a bit of a laugh.

Bobby's definitely shocked again, his expression one of complete disbelief. But he wipes it off his face and reminds himself that, for some reason, Winchester blood means that you're able to do anything, even if it defies the laws of nature.

"Idjit," the old man grunts out and sets down another old book on his desk. "Give me some of your blood. I found a spell that will let you into the Panic Room without trapping you in it."

"What Panic Room?" Dean asks, dumbfounded, but yelps as he's pulled off his seat and has the palm of his hand cut open with Ruby's knife to spill his blood into a golden goblet.

"You'll see it after I finish the spell," Bobby huffs, but smirks a little at the surprised expression that's still glued to Dean's face.

* * *

><p>Later that night, after Bobby shows him the Panic Room and Sam tells him what Henricksen told him, Dean's exhausted again. He's lying on the floor of the living room while Sammy's taken the couch. And even though the big moose has fallen asleep, Dean can't. Everything that he's seen and knows, it keeps replaying in his mind and making him feel guilty. Guilty that he has to keep lying to Sam and guilty that he started the Apocalypse.<p>

"Dean, you should get some rest," a familiar voice calls out to the demon. But Dean just sighs and rolls onto his side so that he's looking at Castiel.

"Will you be in my dreams again?" he asks and receives a nod from the angel that just makes him smile. "Alright. Good night, Cas."

"Good night, Dean."

* * *

><p>Note: For those of you who didn't understand who the visitor in Dean's dream was last chapter, I think this clarifies it.<p>

Oh and, no, I'm not doing every episode. I'm just picking out the ones I think will have the most impact on this story. Which to tell you the truth, is still a lot of episodes.

Oh well. Toodles.


	9. Yellow Fever & Wishful Thinking

Never the Same

Part 9

Note: I imagine some of you must be hating me right now with how many chapters I'm uploading in such a short period of time. And to be honest, go ahead and hate me. It cracks me up.

Oh and sorry about the brevity of this chapter. It's weird writing something you want purely for crack and fluff. It's like...cotton candy made out of crack. You can do that right? Just a thought.

Enjoy.

PS: Anyone looking at this note, like actually reading it, I need an opinion on where the next chapter should head. Please vote on my profile. Thank you.

* * *

><p><strong>Location: Rock Ridge, Colorado. October, 2008.<strong>

The Winchester brothers are onto another case. And as usual, they're doing their best as impersonators and investigating their targets.

But, well, Dean isn't terribly happy at the moment. He's uncomfortable. Uncomfortable in this too hot room with an fat guy on an old couch. And uncomfortable about being surrounded by a number of tanks holding reptiles of various sizes. They're dangerous. Every single one of those sons of bitches with their beady eyes and sharp teeth are dangerous.

And then, there's a hissing over his shoulder and Dean looks off to the side real quick. He spots a yellow boa constrictor slithering towards him. Marie's her name. Dean looks away and gives a weak smile, forcing himself to sit still as she crawls down over him.

He wants to run so bad right now, it's not even funny.

* * *

><p>Later that night, while they're driving back to their hotel, Sam finds out that Dean's being haunted. And Dean, he's panicking about being haunted. But he's also trying to keep calm at the same time because he sure as hell doesn't want to get caught in a traffic accident. After all, being emotional while driving is about the worst thing he can do.<p>

* * *

><p>The next morning, the news isn't any better. Dean's been diagnosed with Ghost Sickness. He has no idea what that is.<p>

Thankfully, Sammy's there to tell him that he's going to become anxious, then afraid, then more afraid until his heart finally gives out after about forty eight hours. Actually, Dean has only twenty four hours left because a day's already passed. And, unfortunately for Dean, he's pretty sure his heart isn't going to give out on him and his fear is just going to keep escalating. It sounds like a nightmare, but he's not going to tell Sam about this.

Also, apparently Sammy isn't infected because he's not a dick while Dean is. In Dean's opinion, that's just unfair and really isn't looking forward to his own personal, fright-filled Hell on Earth. But at least Sam has their hotel room moved down to the first floor, so he feels a little bit better. Just a little. But their breakfast sucks.

* * *

><p>Dean's now of the opinion that books are evil. And so are clocks. Because, while Sammy's out, they're taunting him. The fricking wall clock and it's sun-shine exterior is taunting him and tick-tocking louder than it needs to, while the book is just silently taunting him with its words. Calling him a loser and telling him he's going to die. He'll show them who's a loser.<p>

Sam comes back not long after Dean's finished destroying the clock and opened up a beer. They talk about the case some more, but whatever the hell they were talking about becomes extremely unimportant when Dean starts to choke on something. He runs to the sink and ends up hacking up a wood chip. A fricking, bloody wood chip that has Sam all giddy and bouncy and announcing Dean as their biggest clue.

Dean doesn't want to be a clue.

* * *

><p>After some more investigating and getting chased around town by a yorkie that Dean swears is a hellhound, he's back in the hotel room.<p>

He's breathing hard, trying to catch his breath and swearing that he's going to quit being a hunter because it's too damn terrifying. He must've been out of his mind to continue hunting for this long. It's too damn dangerous and will most certainly get him killed, again, if he doesn't stop.

Sam comes back not too long after Dean has, but the demon begins to hallucinate and he squeezes his eyes shut. He can't bear to see his baby brother there, a demon like him and telling him he deserves to be in Hell, suffering under his hands because he's a monster and deserves nothing but pain and misery. Dean doesn't want to see his own brother kill him.

When Dean opens his eyes again, Sam isn't there. Everything that happened after he came back to the room was a hallucination. The thought isn't comforting because the fear is getting stronger and Sam isn't here to keep him grounded.

But then Castiel is and the angel walks up to Dean urgently, taking him into his arms as the demon breaks down.

"Dean," Castiel whispers into his lover's ear and surrounds them both with his wings in an effort to comfort the haunted demon.

He feels sorrow in Dean's trembling, but can't dispel the ghost's affects, because wrathful souls are something angels just aren't equipped to deal with.

"I'm sorry, Dean," he soothes, but can feel that Dean is being wrapped up in his hallucinations again because the demon is struggling desperately to free himself from Castiel's hold.

"No. No, don't kill me. Please, Cas!" Dean pleads, terror in his exhausted eyes and he continues to struggle against his angel.

He sees Castiel's blank expression. Hears his angel say that he was only with Dean because God told him that he should be with the Righteous Man. That he's not worthy anymore and that God no longer needs him and has given Castiel the order to kill him. To smite him and leave nothing behind for anyone to piece back together.

Castiel reluctantly lets go of Dean and steps away from him. He thinks that it would be best to leave Dean alone for now and let him collect himself again. So he takes one last sorrowful glance at Dean before he departs and the demon collapses onto the couch, breathing hard.

"Cas," Dean groans mournfully, heartbroken and terrified because he's trapped in his hallucinations.

* * *

><p>About an hour before Dean's time would be up if he were human, he's left in the hotel room with a dead by heart attack Sherriff Britton. He's taken a seat on the bed and has a bible in his hands after scratching his arms up until they've started bleeding.<p>

Dean is afraid and hearing hellhounds barking all around him, clawing at the walls and doors and windows, trying to get at him. And then Lilith in her child meat suit is there, taunting him.

"You're just another hallucination," Dean croaks out, sweating and desperately trying to make himself believe his own words. But Lilith is still there and she's taunting him, talking about how she'll string him up again and torture him for betraying her and Lucifer.

His heart is hammering against his ribcage. It really does feel like he's going to die from fear. From a heart attack. Just like Sherriff Britton.

And then wings are surrounding him again and the scratches on his arms and Lilith are gone. The fear has subsided, but Dean isn't really sure if things are over or not.

"Cas," Dean whispers hesitantly, unsure if this is just another hallucination, but he hopes it isn't.

"It's alright, Dean. I'm here," Castiel reassures his lover and helps the demon up before pulling him into a tight embrace.

Dean relaxes into his angel's hold and almost feels overwhelmed all over again because he's so relieved that it's over.

* * *

><p><strong>Location: Concrete, Washington. November, 2008. <strong>

Sam and Dean have just finished up their case with the wishing well and the demon's just recovered from the embarrassment of being beaten up by a little kid.

It's been a month since the incident with the buruburu. And a month since Dean lied to his little brother about what he saw in his hallucinations.

Dean decides that maybe it's time to reveal a little bit of the truth to Sam because he can't keep all of his secrets locked up forever.

"You were right," Dean starts off and lowers his head a little in shame.

"About what?" Sam questions his brother's odd behavior and sudden admission.

Dean starts to look around nervously, looking at everything and anything except for his little brother. But he sighs and stops, fixing his attention on Sammy again.

"I remember everything that happened to me in the Pit. Everything. But I'm not going to talk about it," he grinds out, anticipating Sam's reaction to his words.

"Why not?" Sam asks, confused and hurt by Dean's decision to shoulder his burden on his own.

"You just wouldn't understand," Dean says with a shake of his head and begins to walk away, signaling the end of their conversation.


	10. On The Head Of A Pin

Never the Same

Part 10

Note: Impatience is most certainly not a virtue. I had things planned out for this chapter, but then...then my impatience reared its ugly head. I feel the second half of this is a tiny bit rushed, but...it probably wouldn't have come out any better. I don't like writing for Alastair anyways, so it works out. Oh and sorry for the quality if you find it sub-par. I don't care much. I'll just go work on the next chapter.

Toodles.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Previously<strong>_

* * *

><p>Things have been getting harder and harder for the Winchesters. Tracking down the Seals and trying desperately to prevent them from being broken. To prevent more innocent lives from being lost. To prevent the Apocalypse from killing everyone.<p>

But, slowly, things are becoming just a little too personal. Dean meeting back up with Alastair while Sammy was there was a very tense situation. So tense that he was kind of forced to secretly use his power to keep the other demon's mouth shut while he and Sam escaped.

Also, he hasn't seen Castiel since the whole incident with Uriel and Anna becoming an angel again, making him sex deprived and worried out of his fricking mind for his angel.

And this is while Sam, oh Sam, he slept with Anna _and_ Ruby and tried to keep it from his big brother. Fat chance that would happen.

Dean found out and though he's not pissed about the moose sleeping with Anna, he is pretty angry about Sam sleeping with a demon. A fricking _demon_. But he also has his hands full with Sam questioning him about why he didn't take the chance to sleep with Anna instead of him and, well, Dean kept his mouth shut after that.

So, this has left the brothers back on the road, with a tension so thick between them that Dean's tempted to cut it with his knife. But he hasn't, yet, and instead reveals just a little bit more to Sam about his time in Hell.

That those four months he was dead felt like forty years and that Alastair had him on the rack for thirty of those years before he finally broke and took up the knife. That he actually liked torturing those souls. And though Sam presses him for more information, Dean is quiet after that and mentions nothing about the last ten years he spent in the Pit.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Then<strong>_

* * *

><p><strong>Location: Cheyenne, Wyoming. Late December, 2008. <strong>

It's been a few days since Pamela's funeral. Another casualty in the war that Dean started. It's been a few more since Sam and Dean went ghost and almost got Tessa killed over one of the Seals. Dean thinks he will never be able to forgive Alastair for being such a dick.

At the moment, Dean is fricking tired and all he really wants to do right now is sleep. To just stop driving through the night to get away from all his damn grief and sleep in the crappy motel beds he's gotten so used to. But his stupid brain has to go and remind him that he doesn't need to sleep and that sleeping is pointless because he'll find no reprieve in it. At least, not when Castiel has gone AWOL.

And Sammy's not really helping with his report on Ruby following a lead and his crappy little speech about getting angry rather than being tired over all the deaths of their friends they've gone through. Dean doesn't want to hear any of it, but he doesn't have much choice when they're on the road.

Finally, they find a motel and check in, but a less than welcome guest and one very missed guest are waiting for them when they finally walk into their room.

Uriel is looking as proud as the peacock that won the drag queen contest. But Castiel, he looks like he's trying to blend into the background and kind of like he doesn't really want to be there, which hurts Dean a little because he's afraid that his angel doesn't want to be with him anymore.

But Dean shakes off the hurt and fixes an angry glare on Uriel, the pompous bastard who is probably more heartless than a demon. "Listen, we don't want to deal with anymore of your crap," he grinds out, but his soul aches and seethes within his body, trying to tell him to get away from the angel.

"Dean, we know you're tired, but-" Castiel tries to reason with the demon, look at him with sympathetic eyes, but Uriel quickly cuts him off.

"But, _we don't care_. We raised you from Hell and can very easily put you back," the larger angel threatens, but Dean's not really paying attention to him anymore.

Dean sees Castiel look at him for a moment. A look that's remorseful and asking for his forgiveness, but then it's gone and the angel is staring at the wall opposite him, a blank expression on his face. The demon is suspicious and can feel anger beginning to boil in his veins.

"Seven angels from our garrison have been murdered. The last one was killed tonight," Uriel continues and this has Dean's attention again.

"And you think it's demons?" the demon questions, but can't think of any way a demon could kill an angel. Angels always seem to have the upper hand whenever it comes down to a fight between grace and demon smoke.

Uriel just looks away and gives a deep sigh as his answer.

"How are they doing it?" Sam questions before Dean can get the words out.

"We don't know," Uriel admits, again cutting Castiel off from speaking and Dean's even more suspicious now.

"But we do have Alastair," Castiel speaks up as he walks towards them, but stops as he's standing just a step behind Uriel. "Unfortunately, we can not get him to talk. His will is strong."

"Yeah, well, you guys are kind of out of your league. Alastair's like a black belt in torture. He won't give in to your tricks," Dean states somewhat bitterly.

"We've reached an impasse, Dean. You're our best hope," Castiel is speaking again and his tone is somber.

It's a few seconds after Castiel has spoken those words that Dean realizes what Uriel's intentions are. He's beginning to panic a little. He has nothing against torturing Alastair. The bastard deserves it. But Dean doesn't want Sammy to see him when he's at his worst.

"No," the demon grinds out, his body tense as he looks to Uriel and Castiel with a feral looking sneer, "You can't ask me to do this. I refuse!"

Uriel walks forward and it's Castiel's turn to look between his superior and his lover, with worry and exhaustion swirling behind his eyes.

"We're not asking," the big angel states when he's only a few feet from Dean.

Sam looks at Uriel and then back to his brother, but when he does that, the other three occupants of the room are gone and he's been left alone.

* * *

><p>"That Devil's Trap is old Enochian. It will keep Alastair bound," Castiel states after Dean's taken a look around the abandoned warehouse. They're looking through the small window of the door and into the room where Alastair in his new meat suit has been chained up.<p>

"It's going to bind me too, Cas," the demon states, uncomfortable with Alastair in front of him on the other side of a piece of glass and metal and Uriel behind him, watching and listening to their conversation.

"We'll let you back out," the angel tries to reassure Dean, but it doesn't really work and the demon still looks reluctant to step into the room.

Suddenly Dean turns and attempts to walk back out of the building, but Uriel stops him.

"You can't make me do this," Dean grinds out, anger burning in his eyes again. "I know you think you're all powerful and can force me to, but you can't."

Uriel and Dean lock gazes for a long moment, one full of ire and the other, quiet disdain. But the silence is broke by one trench coat wearing angel who steps away from Alastair's door.

"We are asking too much of you, I know. But, Dean, we need your help," Castiel quietly pleads and his voice takes the edge off of Dean's anger just a little bit, but it's enough to get the demon to back off of Uriel.

Dean looks back at his angel and can see the sad look in his eyes that just tear him up inside. But, then Dean's ire rises again because he knows why Uriel brought his angel along. The bastard knows that Castiel is his weakness and that he will be more willing to do anything if his angel asks him of it. How Uriel found out, he isn't sure, but he sure as hell is not happy that they know his Achilles' heel.

"I need to speak with Cas. Alone," he states none too kindly and even has a bit of a growl in his voice.

Uriel looks from Dean Winchester then to Castiel. "Very well. I will go seek Revelation. They might have new orders for us," he speaks and then departs with the sound of beating wings.

"Cas, what's going on? Why are you taking orders from Uriel like some lapdog?" the demon questions his angel.

Castiel looks away from Dean, refuses to make eye contact with him and seems reluctant to answer.

"Cas," Dean repeats his angel's name, his tone a little bit harder, needing to hear an answer.

The angel looks into Dean's eyes and seems to deflate just a little bit. "My superiors are questioning my loyalties. I have been becoming too close to those in my charge, specifically you. They fear I may begin to doubt," he admits warily and lets his shoulders sag as the weight on his heart grows.

Dean's angry all over again. He's clenching his fists tight and walking towards the door, towards the room that contains his old teacher. He feels like he wants to hit something. But he calms himself with a deep breath and tells himself that anger won't help him when he's working.

"Dean, for what it's worth, I want you to know that I would give anything to not have you do this," Castiel confesses and turns to look at the demon's back, his blue eyes made even darker with the weight of his sorrow.

The demon closes his eyes and stores away Castiel's words in his memories. He opens his eyes again and a slow, sad smile appears on Dean's lips. He conjures up his set of interrogation tools straight from the Pit.

"I'll get you your answers. Just wait outside," Dean chuckles, false confidence in his tone. But he takes another deep breath and then wheels his cart into the poorly lit room. He ignores Alastair's singing taunts as he stops just outside the trap and positions his tools so that they're within easy reach.

"Are they serious? They're sending _you_ to torture _me_?" Alastair laughs dryly, a crooked smirk on his lips as he watches his former apprentice pick up various tools. "Oh. But don't break my heart, my achy breaky heart, I just don't think it'd understand. You're working for _them_, Dean?" The demon laughs again, but chokes on his own blood as Dean's eyes flash yellow and he extends his arm out and makes a grasping motion with his hand.

"Shut up, Alastair, I'm giving you one chance and one chance only to tell me what I want to know," Dean hisses and closes his hand a little bit tighter, wanting to choke the demon in front of him to death. But at the last minute he releases his hold and lets Alastair wheeze and catch his breath as he pulls on a pair of black leather gloves.

"Oh. Scary," Alastair rasps out, coughing while he's laughing. "Does the scaredy cat want some payback for all I did to him down in the Pit? Or, or does he want payback for what I did to his daddy?"

Dean stills for the briefest of moments, but it's all the answer Alastair needs and the older demon is chuckling while his protégé is fiddling around with his rusty instruments and holy water. Oh, is it going to hurt, but Alastair doesn't care. He's going to enjoy every moment of it because he knows it's going to hurt Dean far more than Dean could hurt him.

* * *

><p>Castiel stands vigilant, but closes his eyes and ears to the sound of torture going on in the room behind him. He does not like what Dean is doing. He's never liked it because he knows it leaves Dean feeling less and less human every time he tortures someone, whether they are human or demon.<p>

The demon doesn't need the hole in his heart to grow any larger. The angel is already having a hard enough time keeping it filled by himself. But he can not stop the act going on behind him, can not stop it as it continues on for what feels like hours.

After a while, Castiel moves to the table in his room and braces himself against it. He can't take the sounds anymore. But then the light bulb above him shatters and Anna is there. She tries to speak with him.

"Castiel, will you really allow this to continue?" she questions, but Castiel ignores it as it pains him to hear someone else question him.

"Anna, you shouldn't be here. We still have orders to kill you," he states somberly as Anna walks past him and to the door leading to the room Dean is in.

"I doubt you would kill me," Anna replies and watches Dean torture Alastair with a wistful expression.

"Why are you making Dean do this?" she questions again, her tone seeking answers.

"It is God's work," Castiel answers, but he feels doubt eating away at his grace and the black stain that's Dean inside of him withdraws from him, opening up a small hole in his own heart.

"This isn't God's work. It's not His Will, Castiel, and you know it. Now, go in there and stop Dean, stop the man you love before he breaks and is gone from you forever," Anna argues, but she forces herself to keep calm and watches as Castiel's resolve slowly breaks.

* * *

><p>Dean's finally getting into his rhythm and getting ready to stab Alastair with his baby girl covered in holy water and salt when he notices something is wrong. He's caught by surprise as the Devil's Trap is broken and Alastair is cold cocking him, or he almost does. But nonetheless, Dean is dizzy after the blow and disoriented, giving Alastair the opportunity to pay him back for his generous dishing of pain.<p>

He takes blow after blow and is getting the life choked out of him when Castiel finally comes to his aid. But the demon's kind of useless at this point and kind of pathetically lays on his side as Castiel and Alastair duke it out. Righteous fury versus cold, black wrath.

Unfortunately, Castiel is soon overwhelmed by Alastair too and he's hanging on a meat hook, about to be expelled from his own vessel when Sam comes charging in, pulling off his psychic tricks and showing off his new demon fighting powers.

Dean's honestly pissed when he sees this, but he's so relieved that Castiel is for the most part safe that he just lays back and passes out.

* * *

><p>Later, when Dean wakes up in the hospital, Castiel heals his injuries and relays to him what went down in the warehouse after Sam showed up. His angel tells him that, thanks to Alastair, Sam now knows that his big brother is a demon. Sammy even honestly tried to exorcise him and kill him, but Castiel stopped him and explained everything to his baby brother.<p>

Dean's not too happy about that, but hears that Sam settled down after he called up Bobby and got confirmation from the old hunter that it is Dean and not some random demon hijacking his brother's meat suit.

Castiel goes on to explain that Alastair is dead and that he and Anna had a confrontation with Uriel that resulted in his superior's death. Dean is not too surprised by this news. He always felt something was wrong with Uriel and to be honest, he was glad that the bastard was dead.

Dean finally decides to get out of bed and re-dresses himself in the clothes that he was carried in with.

"Y'know what, Cas? I think we're in a lot more trouble than we were bargaining for," Dean says with a wry smile and his angel is beside him, replying with a somber nod. But the demon's expression lightens a little and he rests his forehead against Castiel's. "You should smile more."

"Sorry to ruin this moment between lovers, but we've got some work for you to do," a mysterious voice cuts in from the side and Castiel and Dean turn to the intruder in shock.

Everything is engulfed in a blinding white light.


	11. 3 Weeks & Terrible Life

Never the Same

Part 11

Note: Well, I hope this makes up for the last chapter. I'm still sorry that the chapter dedicated to "On The Head Of A Pin" turned out so poorly, but I might re-write it in the future if I find the time or inspiration to. In the mean time, enjoy this.

Oh. And explicit warning again. Same drill. Yada yada sex yada yada. Do not read the first part if you don't want, just skip down to the first or second location shift.

TTFN. Ta ta for now.

* * *

><p><strong>Location: Somewhere in Ohio - Dean Smith's Apartment. Early January, 2009.<strong>

Warm sunlight filters in between the curtains and falls over the lovers sleeping in the stylishly, rumpled bed. They slowly begin to stir at the disruption of darkness in the room and a low groan is issued from the partner being used as a body pillow.

"Good morning, Dean," the smaller of the two men, aka Castiel Novak the body pillow, greets his sleepy and slow to rise boyfriend with a voice that's more gravelly than usual.

"Gimme another five minutes," Dean grumbles into Castiel's neck and curls up just a little closer to the warm body next to him.

If anyone had asked for Castiel's first impression of the new director of sales and marketing, Dean Smith, he would have never said he was a cuddler. He would have probably said he was the macho type who always had to assert himself as the alpha male of the pack and had an ego larger than the Chrysler Building.

But having him here, in bed, cuddling, was priceless and Castiel would not have traded this life for anything. Especially because Castiel loves mounting this stallion and showing him just how fun life can be outside of the office.

"No can do," Castiel chirps rather cheerily and pushes Dean off of him so that he can get a head start to the shower.

It's Dean's turn to groan as he rolls over onto his back and throws his arm over his eyes, trying to keep the light out. But it's a futile effort and his mind is already on the fast track to consciousness as he forces himself to roll out of bed. When his feet hit the ground, he gives himself a minute and then stretches, working out the kinks in his back and joints. He ignores the ache in his lower back.

"Why are you such a morning person?" Dean questions Castiel even though his lover is still in the shower and can't hear him. He rubs at his eyes tiredly, trying to clear up his focus as he walks into the bathroom and joins the too happy accountant in his shower.

"You're too energetic," the dark blond grumbles and earns a playful slap on the arm from Castiel.

"And you're acting like an old man," Castiel counters with a grin before he leans up to kiss Dean, who comically has a deer caught in headlights look before he melts right into it.

Castiel has Dean pressed up against the tile wall of the shower and he's biting at the side of his blonde's neck, feeling possessive of his boyfriend.

It's an odd feeling though. They'd only just met earlier this week, but it feels like they have known each other for years. And Dean's body is so familiar to the brunet, it should be sending up distress signals in his brain, but so far, he's just letting it slide and going along with it. All of this because Dean's body is addicting. The sounds the other man makes are like heaven to him and he doesn't want to let him go.

"Cas?" Dean breathes out, uncertainty in his tone because the brunet's frozen behind him and he's getting kind of worried that something might be wrong. But he slowly relaxes when Castiel's teeth are removed from his neck and turns his head to get a better look at his lover.

Castiel's wearing an odd, kind of blank expression on his face, but it's quickly gone and replaced with that mirthful smile he's used to seeing.

"I'm sorry. I must have gotten lost in my thoughts again," the accountant chuckles and glides a hand down Dean's side, loving how he shivers as his hand moves inward and stops just a few tantalizing centimeters from where Dean wants it.

"Now, where were we?" Castiel asks and then presses a kiss to the back of Dean's shoulder and another on the strange hand print that's been burned into the man's left deltoid. Neither have any idea what could have caused such a burn, but Castiel is fascinated by it and fixated on the sight because it stirs something fierce and possessive inside of his otherwise laidback and hedonistic self.

"Sex, Castiel. We were in the middle of getting things started," Dean responds with a frustrated sigh. He then shivers and bites his lip lightly, trying to bite back a moan when the brunet behind him finally touches his hard on.

Castiel makes a pleased little humming sound and strokes Dean's length casually, not in any hurry to get things done too soon. He nibbles lazily at Dean's neck again and grins a little at the full body shudder his partner gives because he's chosen a particularly sensitive spot.

Dean bites his lip harder and bucks into the soft, but strong hand that is killing him with torturously slow strokes. Then a hand is at his cheek and Castiel pushes his fingers into his mouth, behind his teeth, forcing him to let out all the little sounds he's been trying to hold back from embarrassment. It feels like he's been forced to wear a horse's bit and it just turns him on even more. But a frustrated growl escapes the man when Castiel stops his pleasurable work and moves his hand away, setting it on Dean's hip.

"So impatient, Dean," Castiel purrs into Dean's ear and lets his hand travel back now, towards the other place he knows needs his attention. He slides slick fingers into Dean's hole, but, lucky for Castiel, his stallion's still loose from the previous night so he doesn't need much preparation.

"_Fuck_," Dean grinds out and presses his forehead against the cold, wet tiles as he's filled again. His body is tense, but he relaxes into the familiar feeling and braces himself against the wall as Castiel starts up a rhythm.

Dean quickly begins to pant and moan, his heart hammering against his ribs because when Castiel is fucking him, the man's like a storm. Overwhelming. And his hands and lips are just everywhere.

Castiel has his hand around Dean's erection again while his other hand continues to act as a bit for his lover, forcing him to let his pretty sounds be heard. His hand strokes Dean at the same pace as his thrusts, firm, but quick and somehow graceful.

Castiel doesn't want things to go so hastily, but even in the middle of this act of love, he keeps in mind that they have work in another hour and that they do need to actually shower and eat at some point before they leave. It's a hassle the brunet would rather do without so that he could truly live a hedonistic lifestyle, but he sets aside his lamenting for another life and ravages the beauty in front of him while he can.

The brunet pulls out momentarily, letting the head of his length press against his partner's inviting warmth as he leans forward and nips at an ear playfully. He does nothing for the longest time, but holds his stallion in place, not allowing him to move an inch. And Castiel makes Dean squirm and beg for more before he obliges and thrusts right back in and heartily fucks him into the wall.

* * *

><p><strong>Location: Sandover Bridge &amp; Iron Inc. Offices - Dean Smith's Office. Later That Day.<strong>

Dean Smith is working hard at his desk and trying his best not to move too much in his seat. He's honestly sore from his morning activities with the company's newest addition to the accounting bunch.

He never expected a man like Castiel Novak, who dresses like someone straight from Woodstock and seems so carefree, could be one of their hardest workers and model employees. It's like the man is a completely different and very driven person while on the clock, but when off of it, he's busy fucking Dean's brains out in the most amazing ways imaginable.

The last thought and remembrances of his pleasure loving boyfriend brings a not completely unwelcome reaction in the director's nether regions, but he huffs and forces himself back to work.

Dean doesn't notice his visitor coming in until they're knocking on his desk.

"All work and no play makes Dean a very dull boy," a familiar gravelly voices chimes in and Dean decides to take his break early.

* * *

><p><strong>Location: Dean Smith's Apartment. Three Weeks Later.<strong>

Dean's kind of yelling at himself for letting another man, let alone one the size of Sasquatch named Sam Wesson, into his apartment when he knows Castiel lives right next door and has a copy of his key. He has never allowed another man into his home before other than his boyfriend and he is afraid there is going to be some misunderstanding. But it's not like he can tell Castiel what is going on. It is just too weird and he is, admittedly, still having a hard time believing it himself. So, he's definitely stuck between a rock and a hard place with this ghost problem.

"So, what have you found, Sammy?" Dean asks, lurking over Tech Support Sasquatch's shoulder.

"Dude, don't call me that," Sam huffs and Dean suddenly has the desire to call him a bitch, but he shakes it off. "Well, our ghost, he seems to appear during times of great economic distress."

Dean mulls over the information and nods his head. "And now's pretty bad. Worst we've seen since the Great Depression," he speaks his thoughts, but tenses when he hears the jingle of keys in his lock.

"You have a girlfriend?" Sam questions because he hears the sound of the lock being opened too. But he's confused when he gets a negative response from Dean and feels his jaw go slack when he sees a scruffy looking man step through the door.

"Dean?" Castiel's questioning now and he walks into the apartment, a hurt look in his eyes because maybe he's being betrayed and it hurts to think that this may be true.

"It's not what you think, Castiel. This is Sam Wesson. He started working at Sandover three weeks ago, like you and me. We're just working together to research the company's history. You know, like that-god, what is it called?" the dark blond tries to come up with an excuse, but he stumbles over his words a little and he's a terrible liar.

"I think the word you're looking for is synergy," Sam helpfully supplies, but he's looking nervous too and the tension in the room is steadily rising.

Castiel can see through Dean's lie, but he understands that his boyfriend's not cheating on him now because Sam looks like he's scared out of his mind and might just run at the thought of being mistaken for a gay. The brunet relaxes marginally and sighs, but allows his smile to return and cut through the tension as he walks up to the desk and looks over both their shoulders.

"Ghostfacers?" the accountant reads with some amusement after he sees the window that Sam wasn't able to close fast enough. "So, what? You guys aren't really researching company history, are you? Are you hunting ghosts?" The questions are asked more as a joke, but with Dean's pale complexion and Sam's tense shoulders, Castiel feels that he's accidentally hit the bull's-eye.

At this point, Dean feels that it is best to just come clean and tell Castiel what's going on, because the guy's a genius and will probably piece it together without his help anyways, but he would feel better if he stopped lying to his boyfriend. "Well, you know about those suicides that took place recently, right?" he starts, but Castiel's already onto what he's trying to say and he sees the brunet's blue eyes just widen in realization.

"Wow. You think a ghost caused those suicides? Really?" Castiel speaks with a hint of excitement in his tone and his eyes are lighting up like he's a kid who stumbled upon a treasure map. "So, who's our perpetrator?"

Dean looks at Castiel in shock, thinking his scruffy accountant is getting too excited by something that's potentially dangerous.

"No. No no no. Castiel, you're not getting involved in this. It's dangerous," Dean asserts, using his alpha dog voice that Castiel says is a problem, but he doesn't think it is one, and pushes Castiel back towards his door, though the guy isn't making it easy with all that strength hidden in his small frame. "Just go home and stay safe."

"Dean, let me help," Castiel grinds out and tries to fight back against Dean's shoving.

Sam just watches helplessly as he witnesses what he thinks might be a lover's quarrel and he doesn't feel too comfortable being caught in the middle of it.

"Umm. Why don't we just bring Castiel along? I'm sure we could use the help," Sam tries to neutralize the situation, but he's suddenly getting two pointed glares from the arguing couple. He holds his hands up in surrender and shrinks back in the chair in some vain effort to hide himself.

* * *

><p><strong>Location: Sandover Bridge &amp; Iron Inc. Offices. Later That Night.<strong>

"Okay, now do you see why I said bringing Castiel along might have been helpful?" Sam grinds out as he tries to hit the ghost of P.T. Sandover with one of Dean's fireplace pokers, but the spirit disappears and reappears behind him.

"Save your whining for when we're not risking our lives," Dean retorts and takes a crack at cracking the ghost's ethereal skull, but he too is unsuccessful until he and Sam work together to dispel the ghost. "There. See? We're doing just fine with the two of us."

Sam rolls his eyes at Dean's cocky statement, but freezes as the spirit reappears and he and Dean are thrown in opposite directions. He quickly recovers from the impact and struggles to his feet, but momentarily stiffens again when he sees P.T. Sandover standing over a disoriented, but terrified Dean.

"Dean!" Sam cries out, but suddenly an iron crowbar is swung over Dean's head and the ghost has dissipated once more.

"Burn the gloves!" a familiar gravelly voice commands and Sam is quick to obey.

Sam takes the gloves from their resting place and ignites them, watching with relief as the ghost that had appeared before him burns away.

* * *

><p>Dean, Sam and Castiel are recovering in Dean's office and trying to patch up whatever injuries the would be heroes sustained. But as they converse, Dean's mood begins to darken, as does Castiel's, and the atmosphere in the office just takes a dive.<p>

Sam and Dean are in disagreement over just abandoning their jobs and becoming hunters of supernatural creatures. Sam thinks they should because their current lives just don't feel right while Dean lists off every reason they shouldn't.

But Castiel, he just watches and listens, wearing a pensive expression because he agrees with Sam, but wants to go with Dean's decision.

Nonetheless, at the end of the night, Sam leaves the office, frustrated with Dean and Dean and Castiel are left alone.

"Are you sure this is what you want?" Castiel questions and Dean's posture stiffens because the sad expression his lover is wearing isn't the one Castiel Novak normally wears, but it still feels very familiar.

"Please. Don't start questioning me too, Castiel. It's better for all of us if we just keep living these lives. Even if it doesn't feel right, it's safe," Dean answers, but even his words don't feel right to him. He's feeling doubt and he curses the feeling, but he says nothing else and watches sadly as Castiel's expression switches to his warm smile once more.

"Alright. If that's what you want, Dean," the brunet says before he offers his hand to Dean and they leave the office together.

* * *

><p><strong>Location: Sandover Bridge &amp; Iron Inc. Offices. The Next Day.<strong>

Dean's working hard again. He's delving into his work even though he's tired because he wants to forget about everything that happened last night. He wants to ignore the feeling that something is wrong gnawing away at his stomach. But the feeling is growing too strong and Dean's just becoming frustrated with himself because he knows that Castiel wants to go out hunting just as much as he does.

A knocking at his door breaks Dean from his laser focus on his computer screen and he looks up at his boss in a sort of daze. He quickly shakes it off and greets Mr. Adler. But as soon as the balding man starts talking about promotions and continuing to work for the company for years to come, something inside of Dean Smith snaps.

"I'm giving my notice," Dean suddenly states and he kind of surprises himself, but he continues nonetheless. "I just don't think this is my thing."

For some reason, Mr. Adler just smiles and taps his forehead, bringing Dean Winchester back to his body and releasing him from the angelic spell.

Dean Winchester blinks and is kind of in shock after waking up from what felt like a very long dream. And then there's the sudden pang of hunger and he curses. But he shakes that off too and is quick to glare at the man standing before him, finding it obvious that he's an angel now.

"Who the hell are you?" Dean snarls, his mood souring more when he sees the faint, but cocky smile on the angel's face.

"Zachariah. I'm Castiel's superior," the angel introduces himself and avoids the punch thrown at him by Dean. "You know, you should really watch your temper, demon boy."

"Shut up! I'm tired of Heaven's crappy ass games! Why did you do this to us? Were you bored? Trying to teach us a lesson?" the demon roars and his eyes are flashing yellow, but his instincts are screaming at him from the back of his mind, telling him to get away from here because Zachariah is even more powerful than Uriel.

Zachariah's smile is gone and he's frowning now. "If you liked this, you should see my decoupage," the angel deadpans and Dean's taken aback, confused by the statement and the fact that he has no idea what decoupage means.

"Gross. No thanks," Dean replies, his brow still furrowed from his confusion and then he looks away feeling awkward.

"So, what the hell was this lesson about?" the demon asks, trying to steer this conversation back in the direction he wants it.

The angel in the balding man suit is silent for a moment, but he steps closer to Dean and smirks. "We wanted to teach you that hunting is truly in your blood. That you can't break free of your destiny or fight it, Dean," he states somewhat proudly and it just rubs Dean the wrong way.

"So you just want to make sure that your monkey is able to stop the Apocalypse. To stop Lucifer," Dean grinds out and doesn't back down when Zachariah becomes way too close for his liking.

"That's exactly it. You have a much better life than any of these humans could ever wish for. You can do whatever you want. Change whatever you want, Dean. So just face who you are and play your role."


	12. The Monster At The End Of This Book

Never the Same

Part 12

Note: I would really like to thank Rokkis for their wonderfully helpful review. Ah. I'm so red. I really have been ignoring Dean's demon nature and his kids recently and that makes me feel bad.

I'm hoping this chapter will make up for it a little. I ended up writing it after scrapping the previous version which would have covered the episode "Sex and Violence." But I feel that this one ended up much better anyways.

Please, enjoy. And if anything needs fixing, like the tone of the story or, I dunno, Dean not being dark enough, please don't be afraid to tell me. I really do appreciate all the help.

* * *

><p><strong>Location: The Toreador Motel - Dean and Sam's Room.<strong>

Dean places hex bags meant to keep Lilith and other demons from finding them around the room while Sam unpacks. Though Dean knows that these bags will ultimately prevent him and his children from seeing what's going on in the room, he has a countermeasure in the form of a little coin given to him by Crowley himself. And thank Crowley for small favors because this baby is keyed in to just Dean and Crowley himself. Dean's not particularly happy about Crowley being in the know, it's better than having everyone in on their hiding place and Sam's conversations.

"You have got to be kidding me," Sam balks at the sight of the various pouches placed around their motel room. "You're going to have me sit in here all night, hiding from Lilith?"

The demon smirks at Sam's reaction and pats his brother on the arm. "That's exactly what you're going to do, Sammy," Dean says in a tone that's a little too satisfied for Sam's liking.

Dean's about to leave the room, but he pauses and rifles through Sam's bag, pulling out his laptop while planting his secret weapon without his little brother knowing. "No homework for you. Now, you can use the magic fingers or watch Casa Erotica if you want, but no leaving this room," he clarifies with a smirk and walks out, closing the door behind him.

* * *

><p>Sam invites Chuck over to the motel to have a talk.<p>

The writer admits that he knows about Sam drinking demon blood and confronts the younger brother about why he's doing it. They both know that drinking blood is a bad thing and yet Sam continues to do it. And for what? Just so he'll have enough power to stop the Apocalypse? That's his big brother's job and yet Sam wants to shoulder all of the burden by himself and that is exactly what's going to happen in the end.

"Does Dean know about, you know, me drinking Ruby's blood?" Sam asks, looking nervous himself and Chuck just seems to shrink in on himself.

Chuck looks at Sam's bag briefly, knows what's hidden in there, but he says nothing about it and looks Sam in the eyes. "Dean has his children, demons that he's personally converted, following you wherever you go, Sam. He knows everything you do. He even has some of them waiting outside right now, making sure you don't leave like he told you to," he reveals with a mournful tone and Sam's indignant.

"So Dean doesn't trust me at all, does he?" Sam questions, anger tingeing his tone and making his eyes darken. The sight makes Chuck squirm uncomfortably in his seat.

"Well, no. He trusts you, Sam. You're his brother. He has to trust you. He just wants to make sure you're safe," Chuck tries to argue, but he realizes he's made the rift between the brothers grow even wider.

Sam clenches his jaw a little, but slowly relaxes the muscles and decides to change the subject. "Am I strong enough to kill Lilith yet?" he asks, his eyes looking out the window and he thinks he sees a couple shadows moving just out of sight. There's no doubt that they are Dean's _children_.

Chuck shakes his head and looks at Sam, feeling sympathy for him. "I haven't seen that far yet."

* * *

><p><strong>Location: House of Chuck Shurley. Later That Day.<strong>

Dean likes to think he's mastered the art of sneakily breaking into peoples' homes when they're not around and just sitting in the dark, waiting for them to come back. Chuck Shurley does not seem to disagree with Dean's theory, so the demon stands, despite the aching of his body after being hit with a minivan, and confronts the human.

"Dean, you look like hell," Chuck stutters out, his arms full with grocery bags and booze. He sets them down nervously and looks the demon over, feeling a little uncomfortable being with something so dangerous alone. But he's seen what happens and doubts he'll get hurt, at least not too badly.

"Well, that's kind of expected after you've been _hit by a minivan_, Chuck," Dean snarls and the last part is especially vicious, making his eyes flash to the pale marble yellow he's slowly getting used to wearing. He's getting worked up, his anger blanketing his mind and the lights in the house are starting to flicker like mad, but he backs off. The long standing promise to not harm humans, innocent ones at least, is still in place no matter how badly he wants to hurt Chuck right now.

"Oh," is all Chuck can manage to say. It's barely more than a squeak, but he's thinking he's done something horribly wrong because the anger that had just left Dean comes back full force and he's shrinking back, away from the demon.

"'Oh?' 'Oh' is all you can say after you've written down that I'd be run over by a fricking minivan and it comes true? You know, just because I'm a demon doesn't mean I feel that _pain_ any less!" Dean roars now and he's stalking towards Chuck, the human back pedaling, trying desperately to get away from him because Dean's a monster. He's the kind of monster that makes children weep at night because he's not under their bed or in their closet. He's the darkness itself and everyone is afraid of the darkness.

"Pl-please, don't yell at me, Dean," the author stumbles over his words, terror written on his face and in his eyes because he thinks he's facing Death incarnate.

"I heard you talking with Sam. You said that all of the weight was going to be on his shoulders. What the hell is that supposed to mean?" the demon demands and he's about to throw his arm out, planning on pinning Chuck to the wall when he feels a hand grab his wrist.

Dean freezes and all the anger drains out of him when he looks back and sees Castiel standing there.

"Don't hurt him, Dean. Chuck is a prophet of the Lord," the angel announces and Dean has to make a double take, looking from Chuck to Castiel and back again because, really, Chuck is a prophet? Really?

"You. You're Castiel," Chuck states somewhat numbly, shocked that he was just saved by another one of his characters, let alone one that is the _lover_ of the demon who was going to possibly maim him two seconds ago.

Castiel nods and looks around the room, looking at the mess and the untidiness and picks up one of the Supernatural books lying haphazardly on a table. "I admire your work," he admits, speaking in an almost reverent tone as sets the book back down neatly.

Chuck stumbles over to a seat. He can't stand anymore. This is all too crazy. Too much to handle. And he just needs a drink really bad right now.

"So, what? He's writing the new New Testament?" Dean questions as he watches the would be prophet grab a glass and a bottle of whiskey.

Castiel gives a look to the demon that tells him to watch his words. "These books will one day be called the Winchester Gospels," he answers and watches as Dean's and Chuck's expressions becomes ones of utter shock and disbelief. The angel would have found it amusing if he were not being completely serious.

"If you'll just excuse me," Chuck cuts in and heads straight for the stairs, unwilling to look at the supernatural creatures in his living room until he's already half way up them. The prophet quickly looks away and disappears from sight, his bottle and glass clutched tight to his chest.

"You know, this is all pretty unbelievable," Dean hisses and his eyes are flashing yellow again because he's frustrated and afraid.

"You should have seen Luke," Castiel counters with a shrug of his shoulders.

Dean ignores the counter, his shoulders tensing with anxiety as he moves closer to his angel. "How much does he know?" the demon asks, his tone dark and sinister, but filled with urgency.

Castiel's eyes flicker to Dean and then to the stairs and a faint frown touches his lips. "Everything, Dean. He knows everything. But you can not harm him. He is protected," he admits with a sigh and the demon beside him is cursing loudly.

* * *

><p><strong>Location: The "Red" Motel - Dean and Sam's Room. Later That Night.<strong>

Dean senses it when Sam burns the hex bags and his children, the ones currently on Sam duty, are calling out to him, telling him the same thing. He parks the Impala in front of their room and bursts in, walking straight over to Sammy and punching him as hard as he can.

"You…why did you burn the hex bags?" Dean snarls and walks off, but his posture is all predatory and barely restrained rage as he grabs their things and attempts to pack them.

"No, Dean. Look, we don't even know if what Chuck says will come true," Sam argues, still holding his aching jaw in pain, but not wanting to leave when they might have the opportunity of a lifetime waiting right in front of them.

"It will come true," Dean counters with a huff and throws down the item he is holding. "Chuck's not psychic. He's a _prophet_ and he's writing the gospel of…_us_."

Sam recoils at the revelation and makes a face that's a mixture between disbelief and thinking his brother must be insane. But he remains adamant and refuses to leave. "Still, we're not going to leave."

"What? No, Sam. If we stay here, that bitch will tear us both apart, freaky psychic powers and me or not," Dean argues and feels the instinctive need to protect what's his rising in him when he thinks of Lilith touching a hair on his baby brother's head.

"Maybe she will, maybe she won't. We just have to try Dean," Sam tries to reason with Dean, but frowns as a thought comes to him. "Or is this about you being afraid of me going dark side?"

"One of us is already on that side, Sam. I don't need you here too," the demon grinds out with a tone of finality and he's done hearing Sam try to argue with him. He heads out the door, ignoring Sam's god damned puppy eyes.

* * *

><p>Dean's standing outside the motel, desperately trying to think of a way to avoid the confrontation with Lilith because he knows, just knows, that Sam is going to be stubborn and the bitch is going to come. The demon punches a wall, venting his frustration as he slowly realizes that he can't stop Lilith on his own and that he needs to seek Heavenly guidance.<p>

"God, I feel stupid for doing this," Dean sighs as he backs away from the wall and stands underneath the stars, looking up at them as he begins to pray.

"You do realize how ironic this is, right?" Castiel cuts in and rests his hand on Dean's shoulder, near the mark he left on the demon.

"Yeah, well. I need help, Cas," he admits with a faint smile, but it fades as Castiel's hand leaves him.

"Dean, I can't interfere with prophecy," Castiel admits, his tone somewhat remorseful, but he's wearing a small smile that Dean just barely catches. "But you must understand that prophets are protected. Watched over by archangels. If anything should happen to a prophet, should happen to put them in harm's way, an archangel will come down and destroy that threat. Archangels are fierce, Dean. Their power is absolute and they are Heaven's most powerful weapon."

Dean is slow to realize what point Castiel is trying to make, but when he finally does understand, he jumps on it. "So, if a prophet were to be in the same room as a demon, one that's threatening them, an archangel will come down," he asks skeptically and watches Castiel tilt his head slightly, his eyes sparkling with a mischievous light.

"They would rain down Heaven's Wrath on that demon," Castiel supplies and Dean's smirking now.

"Thanks, Cas," Dean chuckles and pats the angel on the shoulder before dashing off to the Impala to grab one drunken prophet.

* * *

><p><strong>Location: Chuck Shurley's House. It's Late As Fuck Now.<strong>

Dean's clutching his head in agony as he arrives at the ramshackle house. Lilith is close to her destination, he can feel it in his bones and he can hear the screams of agony as his children are mercilessly torn apart by the evil whore.

The demon composes himself as best as he can before he opens the door and Chuck's gaping at him like a fish out of water.

Chuck panics because he didn't see this event, didn't write it down. So it shouldn't be happening, right? But, nonetheless, the demon is _here_ in his _home _and he backs away as Dean approaches.

"You've got an archangel tethered to you and I need to use it," Dean explains with a strained edge to his voice. "You're coming with me to the motel."

Chuck nearly wets himself at the thought of being anywhere near Lilith. "No. Are you insane? She'll tear me apart," the prophet whimpers, but he's backed up against a wall again.

"No, you won't, because you have an archangel sitting on your shoulder, ready to tear apart anything that tries to tear _you_ apart," the demon counters and takes a step back, allowing the human to breathe.

The nervous man looks contemplative as he steps around Dean and is now standing behind the demon. "No. I'm not going," Chuck announces and has a face full of pissed off yellow-eyed demon staring him down as soon as the words finish leaving his lips.

Dean rolls his shoulders and closes his eyes for a moment, but after that brief second passes, he's glaring down at Chuck again. "Ok. You've got two options. Option One: we go to the motel and scare off Lilith. Or, Option Two: I snap my fingers and make your neck as twisted as a swirly straw so fast that your guardian angel won't have time to save your ass from _me_," the demon threatens with all the predatory fury he can muster.

When Dean finally gets the answer he's looking for, a grin splits his face and in the dark lighting, his teeth look wickedly sharp.

* * *

><p><strong>Location: The "Red" Motel - It's Even Later Than Fuck Now.<strong>

As they are approaching the door, Dean kicks it in and drags Chuck in with him. Sam and Lilith are looking at Dean like he's a madman, but Dean smirks, his eyes glowing a bright green with his confidence. He knows he has the upper hand.

The room immediately begins to quake and the beginnings of what will soon be blinding white light are filtering into the room.

"You have got to be joking me," Lilith states with exasperation as he looks around the shaking room and sees the white angel light.

"No joke, bitch. If you don't leave right now, an archangel is going to fry your ass," Dean snarls and he's just brimming with satisfaction as he watches Lilith evacuate her body and the light and mini earthquake die down.

"Why does the archangel react to Lilith, but not you?" Chuck questions Dean and the demon throws him what he assumes is his most charming smile.

"Because I'm not going to hurt you. You see, no matter how pissed off I get at an innocent human, I won't touch a hair on their head," the demon explains and he's grinning again, even as both Chuck and Sam throw him doubtful looks.


	13. The Rapture

Never the Same

Part 13

**Location: Warehouse. Night.**

Dean got the message that Castiel wants to meet him here, but what he doesn't understand is what happened to his angel for him to fail to meet him at the location he chose.

The warehouse is trashed and the lights are flickering, sounds of electricity arcing across snapped wires sounding every so often. But behind all of the electricity in the air, Dean can sense it, can smell the angel grace that permeates the air and he can't possibly think of a reason why angels would fight one another.

The demon fears that this may all be his fault when he shines his flashlight on a wall and sees an enormous Enochian seal painted on it in blood.

"What do you think happened here?" Sam questions his brother as he too sees the seal, but Dean is silent and he looks around the room again.

Dean uses all of his senses to find any trace of Castiel, anything at all, but he feels nothing but a vague emptiness, a faint outlining of grace in the shape of a human body. The demon rushes to that and finds his angel's vessel, abandoned and alone, and his worst fears grip him. Castiel has been dragged back to Heaven and it's all his fault.

"Castiel? Is that Castiel?" Sam calls out and he rushes to Dean's side as the demon helps the human stand.

"Castiel…?" the human mumbles and shakes his head and the action is so different from Castiel that Dean feels a part of him twist in pain inside his meat suit. "No. No, I'm Jimmy."

The human looks at them, disoriented and kind of afraid because he can barely sense an overwhelming darkness coming from the shorter of the strangers pointing flashlights at him. But his mind clears and he realizes that the people in front of him are familiar. Especially the shorter one.

Jimmy remembers the man's name is Dean and that he's a demon, but he's different from the others. He's not exactly kinder, but he feels more human and is a family man, in a way. He was-is also Castiel's lover.

"Come on. Let's get you out of here," Dean speaks his first words since entering the warehouse and turns his back on the humans. His eyes are glowing a furious yellow as he walks towards the exit.

**Location: Motel. Later That Night.**

Unfortunately, the brothers discover that Jimmy has very few if any memories as a vessel to Castiel. And though they now know this, they also realize that the man's a prime target for demons, memories or not, and they're not afraid to tell him this.

But Dean senses that the human isn't listening to them and gives up for now. After all, if the man has no information, he is useless to him. Jimmy is better off serving as bait for the demons that will no doubt come after him, and Dean, demon or not, isn't exactly above using those types of tactics.

So, when Sam leaves the room and Jimmy sneaks out of bed later that night, Dean's ready. The demon sits up, not actually asleep, and looks at the shocked human, an understanding smile on his lips. "You want to go back to your family, right?" he asks and watches Jimmy nod stiffly. "You do know that demons will come after you, don't you?"

Jimmy tears his gaze away from Dean and looks down at the ground, guilt gnawing at him, but he wants to go home and see his family so desperately. "I know," the human answers, his voice barely above a whisper.

Dean hums softly as he rises from his bed and walks over to the human who's watching him warily. The demon takes Jimmy's hand in his own and fishes through his pocket, placing a few dollar bills in the other man's palm. "I don't really blame you," he soothes and closes Jimmy's hand around the money. "I would do the same thing."

The demon looks around the room briefly and then back to Jimmy. "Go ahead and leave. You'll be safe during your trip. I promise," he says with a smile and walks back to his bed, laying back on the piece of furniture and sprawling out like an octopus. As he closes his eyes, he hears a rushed 'thank you' and the door opening and closing quietly as Jimmy leaves.

Dean smirks to himself and chuckles softly. Sometimes, things come too easily to him, but he's not about to complain.

"You'll follow him, right?" the demon asks no one in particular, but the shadows begin to shift slightly.

"Of course, Father," disembodied voices answer and Dean opens his eyes just in time to catch a glimpse of two shadows darting across the wall and out the door.

The next morning Sam's yelling at him to hurry, but Dean takes his time brushing his teeth. Though he does take the time to walk out of the bathroom to taunt his little brother.

Sam rolls his eyes, feeling frustrated with Dean. But when he looks at his brother, his eyes drift to the demon's neck, specifically to his pulse. "Why didn't you stop him?" Sam asks quickly, forcefully recollecting himself because he realizes what he just did.

Dean narrows his eyes as he spies Sam staring at his neck and he takes a step back, keeping a good distance between them. "I was asleep," he answers Sam's question and walks back to the bathroom to rinse out his mouth.

"But demons don't need to sleep," Sam counters, his voice strained as he fights the urge to just tear into his brother's neck and get his fix of demon blood that way. At this point, he is so desperate for blood that he might accidentally kill Dean and he doesn't want that.

"I like sleeping," the demon grinds out and huffs softly as he packs away his toothbrush. "If you're going to complain, then I won't sleep anymore. Then we'll see how easy it is for you to fall asleep, knowing someone is watching you."

Sam shivers at the thought of Dean watching him while he sleeps. "No thanks," he quickly replies.

**Location: On The Road - The Impala. Later That Day.**

Dean senses Anna as soon as she appears in his backseat and he's growling low, a guttural and feral sound that has Sam looking at him nervously.

"You should really learn to call ahead," the demon grinds out, keeping his eyes focused on the road as he drives.

Anna tilts her head curiously, but lets an amused smile rest on her lips. "I like surprising you," she comments and then looks to Sam. She feels that he is different some how, but she can't quite put her finger on it. The angel shrugs it off and returns her attention to Dean.

"Did Jimmy tell you anything before he got away?" she asks and watches as something in Dean's soul twists a little at the mention of the vessel's name. Though she has no idea what it means, she would like to think that Dean has taken some sort of liking to Castiel's vessel, even if he is purposefully putting him in harm's way.

"No," Dean flatly replies and looks to Anna out of the corner of his eye.

"What happened back there?" the demon asks and he's kind of nervous about the answer, his hands gripping the wheel of his baby just a little bit tighter as he waits.

"Castiel was called back home. Well, more like dragged back to Heaven," she admits and both Dean and Anna know the consequences of being forcefully called back. It is the same in Hell as it is in Heaven. To be called back after you've pissed someone off can very well mean an eternity of pain with no reprieve in death.

"And that's not a good thing?" Sam cuts in as he sees the pensive looks on Dean's and Anna's faces.

"No," the demon and angel reply at the same time, though Dean's tone is somewhat unforgiving and he has a white knuckled grip on the Impala's steering wheel.

**Location: Pontiac, Illinois - Novak Home. Later That Day.**

Dean and Sam arrive just in time to witness a pair of demons attacking Jimmy and his family. And honestly, Dean's furious because he wants to know what happened to his children and why they aren't here to protect them.

Dean walks up to stunt demon number one and takes his knife to the guys throat, cutting him so deep that it's near decapitation as he pushes his hostage away from him. He then throws his knife into the forehead of the bitch that's coming after Sammy after his little brother tries and fails to exorcise her.

"You. You set me up, didn't you? Was this all part of some plan to get Castiel to come back and repossess me?" Jimmy confronts Dean as he rises from the ground and the demon is looking at him with unsympathetic eyes.

"No. These two weren't mine. Besides, Castiel is a little busy," the demon answers and turns his gaze to the ceiling, but he's looking beyond that and into Heaven. He's surprised that Jimmy was able to see through his plan, but, maybe he has just been underestimating the human. If he's Castiel's vessel, there must be something special about him, after all.

"Just get in the car. We have to get out of here," Dean sighs and he's walking out the door, casually picking up his knife and wiping the blood off as he passes by the corpse it's stuck in.

**Location: Outside of Pontiac, Illinois - Gas Station. Later That Night.**

Dean has to stop driving. He has a killer headache that's mind numbing and he can see images of the children he sent to watch over Jimmy being tortured in an abandoned warehouse flash across his mind. He's gritting his teeth against the pain and pressing the balls of his hands against his forehead in a vain attempt to alleviate the pain, but it doesn't stop until he feels a hand rest on his shoulder and he's pulled back to reality.

"Dean, are you alright?" he hears Sam ask and sees his brother's worried frown. But when he looks at the hand that's still resting on his shoulder, he sees that it doesn't belong to Sam, but to Jimmy and the human and his wife are looking at him with worried expressions too.

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine. Perfectly peachy," Dean lies and brushes Jimmy's hand off of his shoulder as he steps out of the Impala, Sam and Jimmy following him as he walks to one of the pumps.

"You don't look fine, Dean," Jimmy counters and the demon turns on him, wearing a cruel smirk that feels wrong.

"Shouldn't you be more worried about your family?" Dean asks and drops the smirk, schooling his face into something that resembles exhaustion. He can feel himself destabilizing and wonders just how much of an influence Castiel has been on him.

"That's the thing," the vessel starts and looks up at Dean nervously, his eyes sad and watery. "I've realized that as long as I'm with my family, they'll never be safe. I feel that it would be better if I…traveled with you and Sam."

"You do realize that if you leave them, you will never be able to return to them or see them ever again, right?" Sam questions and Dean just watches as Jimmy's expression crumbles into something even sadder, like a puppy getting kicked when it's down.

"I know, but I'm willing to make this sacrifice as long as I know my wife and daughter are safe," Jimmy replies and his tone is solemn. But he frowns as hears Dean humming softly in front of him. When he looks back to Dean, he suddenly realizes that the demon's not in front of him, but occupying the front seat of an abandoned car and currently attempting to hot wire it. A wry smile tugs at Jimmy's lips.

"I suppose I should be thanking you," Jimmy muses, the barest hint of amusement in his voice.

**Location: Abandoned Warehouse. After The Call.**

"You do realize this is a trap," Sam states somewhat unhappily.

Dean shrugs his shoulders. "Those guys are small fry. Try believing in me once in a while, Sammy," he chuckles softly and leans back against the Impala. The cold pressure of her body pushing back against his is comforting to the stressed out demon.

Dean's mind is drifting back to thoughts of Castiel again and he's worried for him. Before at least he knew the angel wasn't in too much danger. He was still following Heaven's orders. But after the whole incident with killing Uriel and giving him the hint to use Chuck as archangel bait, he's thinking things are just bad for his angel right now.

"Dean!" Sam suddenly cries out and the demon turns his head to look at his little brother. He sees Sammy's shocked expression and then everything goes black.

When Dean comes to he notices his arms are above his head and his shoulders are aching.

"Oh god, my head," he grinds out, feeling like the back of his skull had been beaten in with a sledgehammer. He tries to move his arms, but frowns, feeling the iron chains used to bind his wrists together burning his skin.

Out of the corner of his eyes, he can see a pair of bloody, beaten to hell bodies, strung up beside him on both sides. The demon recognizes them as his children and he feels a sick, twisting anger in his gut at the sight.

They're giving Dean gazes that tell him how sorry they are and how much they just want the pain to go away.

"Glad to see you're finally awake, Dean. Now you won't have to miss out on any of the fun," Dean hears a woman speak and looks up to see Amelia Novak, possessed and smirking at him. Sam is kneeling at her feet, his hands bound with rope behind him and Jimmy is not too far from his little brother, standing in front of his daughter, being the ever protective father.

"So, you're the new yellow eyes," the demon in Amelia taunts and her eyes flicker to black. "Rather pathetic compared to Azazel."

"Yeah, well, you're not much to look at yourself," Dean sneers and tugs at his wrists again, trying to free himself.

Amelia simply smiles at Dean and draws out a gun.

"Oh come on. You know that can't hurt me," Dean smirks now, his eyes changing to their marble yellow color in a show of his dominance.

Amelia shakes her head and barks out a quick, dark laugh. "I'm not going to use this thing on you," she smirks and turns to point her gun at Jimmy.

"Don't!" Dean cries out as the trigger's pulled and blood is seeping out of Jimmy's gut, staining his shirt.

"Cas!" the demon roars and he forgets for a moment that the dying human, who looks too much like Castiel, isn't his angel. But that doesn't matter. The building shakes with the fury of Dean's roar and his vision goes black and white like he's watching events through one of those old Hollywood movies. The chains binding him melt away and Dean pulls his arms free, his muscles tense and his eyes blazing with rage. He disappears.

Amelia's eyes widen as she frantically looks around the room, searching for any trace of Dean. She panics and calls upon more demons to back her up, fearing for her life.

Dean appears behind Sam and frees him. He needs his little brother to exorcise the bitch after all. But after that, he's gone again and summoning his knife. There's going to be a blood bath and Dean's going to fricking enjoy it.

Or there would have been if Castiel had not manifested in Claire's body and stood in front of the demon, staring at him with those familiar blue eyes.

Dean's frozen in place as his vision goes back to color. He's watching the angel for a moment, but tenses as he hears a muffled scream behind him.

Sam's on one of the demons. But he's not just on her, he's biting into her neck like a vampire and drinking her blood.

Dean's disgusted by the sight. "What the hell are you doing, Sammy?" he grinds out when Sam looks back at him and raises his hand like he's going to use his psychic mojo. He's afraid that Sam's going to try and kill him for a moment, but then hears Amelia coughing behind him. He watches as the demon is expelled from her.

The left over demons around them begin to panic. They're leader is gone, but somewhere in their pea-sized brains, the panic is overridden by a vague hope that they can be rewarded for capturing an angel and a traitor. Dean sees through this.

The yellow eyed demon turns to look at the rejects and smirks. "Sam. Cas. Get Jimmy and Amelia out of here. Save Jimmy if you can," Dean orders and waits until they've evacuated the building. He walks over to a wall and can feel the demons watching him. They can't escape. He's not going to let them.

The left-overs are watching with horror as Dean slits his wrist and uses the blood to paint a large Devil's Trident on the wall he's facing.

"You can't do this!" one of the demons cries out, but Dean's smirk just grows.

"I think I can," Dean snarls and lights a fire using his mind, one that starts on the ceiling and rains down on them as he casually grabs his kids and hauls them out of the building with him.

When he sets his cargo down outside, near the Impala, Dean sees that Castiel is possessing Jimmy's body again. The demon takes one last look at his children before he steps away and walks over to his angel.

"Cas," Dean starts, his voice soft and kind of shaky, like he's afraid that Castiel might disappear on him, again. He takes a step forward, closer to the angel, but Castiel takes a step back and the sight hurts Dean. "Cas, what happened to you?"

Castiel looks at Dean with stern, dark blue eyes. "I have realized my mistake," the angel states and he stiffens his shoulders as he stands up a little more.

"What mistake? You haven't made any mistakes," Dean tries to argue, but Castiel is giving him a look that's threatening and angelic and Dean feels like he might get smote at any moment.

"I don't serve Man. I don't serve _you_, Dean. I only serve Heaven."


	14. When The Levee Breaks

Never the Same

Part 14

* * *

><p><strong>Location: Singer Salvage Yard - Bobby's House. The Day After Pontiac.<strong>

Dean ignores the agonized screams of his baby brother coming from the Panic Room and downs another shot of whiskey. The burn doesn't do much, but it makes him feel. It lets him feel after the blow Castiel dealt to him back at the warehouse in Illinois.

"Sometimes I wish I was still human," Dean groans as he rests his head on the kitchen table. A dozen empty bottles are sitting in front of him and he's still not as drunk as he would like to be.

"And sometimes I wish you'd stop raiding my liquor cabinet," Bobby counters with a huff that makes Dean snort with laughter. The old man raises a brow and looks at the demon sitting in his kitchen from his desk in the living room. He still can't believe that the boy is actually a demon, but at the moment he finds it harder to believe that he might actually be drunk.

"Are you drunk?" Bobby asks and is annoyed when Dean just takes another shot.

"'M getting there," is the demon's reply as he slams his glass back down onto the table and stands from his seat. He walks over to the liquor cabinet that would have cried rape if it were capable of doing so and reaches for another bottle from Bobby's supply.

Dean frowns faintly when he hears the sound of Bobby loading his shotgun and reluctantly backs away.

"Fine, I'll go raid a liquor store," he grumbles and is about to leave, but stumbles back when he hears a loud bang and feels a pain in left side. Dean looks down with wide eyes and just gapes at the holes in his clothes.

"You actually shot me? With iron?" Dean balks and presses his hands to his injured side. It burns a little and it's nothing he can't fix, but the shock is a bit much for him, especially semi-inebriated.

Bobby shakes his head and sets his shotgun aside as he rises to confront Dean face to face. "Yeah, I did, you idjit. You were about to go outside and get yourself hammered while we're on the brink of the Apocalypse. The_ Apocalypse_, Dean. With Sam locked down in the Panic Room, we need you to at least keep your head clear and not go off to get yourself killed," he just speaks to the demon, his tone a little condescending like a father's would be when scolding their child, but he's really just trying to make sure that Dean understands what's at stake.

But then Dean's suddenly gone and Bobby has a sinking feeling in his gut that the idjit really did go out to raid a liquor store.

* * *

><p><strong>Location: Sioux Falls, South Dakota - Liquor Store. Later That Evening.<strong>

"Trying to drown your sorrows?" a familiar accented voice cuts in just as Dean's started downing his sixth bottle of whiskey.

Dean looks up at Crowley from where he's sitting on the floor, his back pressed against the shelves as he plays with the bottle in his hands nervously. He says nothing and goes back to drinking the burning liquid. He's getting a little more drunk, so his mind is a little foggy, but he would still like to be blissfully unaware of all the crap going on around him.

Crowley sniffs lightly when he doesn't get an answer from the younger man. He takes a long, hard look at the demon in front of him and conjures up a chair for himself to sit on, unwilling to take a seat on the dirty floor with Dean. "I think I see what you're doing now. You're trying to drown yourself in drink because your boyfriend dumped you," he states the fact simply and smiles when he gets a flinch from Dean.

"Shut up, Crowley. I'm not in the mood," Dean grinds out, but he knows that it's futile. Crowley won't listen to him.

"Of course you aren't. You're not exactly the sharing is caring type, after all. Small wonder Castiel dumped you like the sad sack of excrement you are," Crowley taunts and abruptly vanishes when Dean makes an attempt to grab him.

Dean frowns when his attempt at grabbing and strangling Crowley fails, but he shrugs it off and resumes his drinking.

He ends up staying in the liquor store for hours, leaving only when he's sure they're out of liquor and he thinks there's at least a hundred voice mails on his cell phone. Somewhere in his booze drowned brain, Dean is surprised Bobby didn't just summon him if he wanted him back so badly.

* * *

><p><strong>Location: Singer Salvage Yard. Night.<strong>

"You rang?" Dean says in a low, gravelly voice as he appears behind Bobby, sitting on the hood of the Impala.

"Where have you been?" Bobby asks even though he already knows the answer. Even outside, with the smell of the rusting cars and oil and grease all around them to cover up the stink of alcohol, it clings to Dean like he has soaked himself in the stuff. Out of the corner of his eye, he can see the drunk just staring at him with his head tilted like someone else they know.

"Forget I asked," the old hunter cuts off Dean's sad excuse of a reply with a shake of his head. "Sam's left the building. I reckon he's going to try to kill Lilith after he gets more of that demon juice in him."

Dean narrows his eyes at the news, thinking that he must have heard wrong. But with Bobby loading up his shotgun like he's getting ready to go out on a hunt and that no nonsense expression not going away, Dean wishes he was sober.

"Ok. Ok, how did Sam escape?" the demon asks, trying his damnedest to stay focused for Sammy because God knows that Dean wants to grab his baby brother and lock him up again in the Panic Room to keep him safe.

"Hell if I know. When I looked at the damage, it looked like a demon had busted him out, what with all the broken Devil's Traps. You know any demon with that kind of power?" Bobby questions, looks to Dean for an answer, but he can see that he's having trouble coming up with names.

Dean shakes his head in a negative answer, though he regrets the action because it makes his head spin a little. "No. No demon I know can do that," he starts, but his expression darkens as he thinks of something, or someone, who could pull this off. "Angels definitely have that kind of power though. They'd love to pin it on demons too."

Bobby looks at the demon like he's gone insane. "Angels? Aren't they supposed to be stopping the Apocalypse?" he bites out, his voice strained with anger and confusion.

"I guess not," Dean shrugs and slides easily off the hood of the Impala, "But we should focus on finding Sam first. We can angel proof the Panic Room later."

"Well, how do you suppose we'll go about finding Sam? If the boy doesn't want to be found, he's not going to be found, Dean," Bobby points out with a huff and from prior experience.

"I've got it covered," Dean states with a little twirl of his hand. The demon turns and looks like he's about to just walk away, but at the last moment, he turns his head to look back at Bobby. A tired smile comes to a rest on his lips and then Dean's walking away again, disappearing before he ever reaches the gates of the salvage yard.

* * *

><p><strong>Location: Town of Cold Spring - Motel. Later That Night.<strong>

Street lights flickers as Dean emerges from the shadows of an alley near Sam's hotel. The demon rolls his shoulders and takes another look at the hotel, looking at the building that is so different from the crappy little motels they're used to booking for however long it takes to finish a hunt. And Dean smiles because he knows Sammy too well and it is just so obvious to see what choices his baby brother would make to try and cover his tracks.

"You've still got a lot to learn," Dean chuckles softly, seeing a couple shadows shift around nervously just at the edge of his vision.

He takes a breath and calms himself, watching Sam walk down the street and into the hotel. He follows him silently up to his room.

It's almost too easy to break into the room, but Dean manages to sneak in without making a sound.

Or so he thinks until Ruby spins around and stares at him with wide, fear filled eyes. She's about to scream, call for Sam, but Dean stops her and chokes the breath out of her meat suit with just a stare.

"Shh. I'm doing you a favor, killing you quickly," he whispers with a purr and opens his switchblade, the familiar weight opening his senses as he approaches the black eyed bitch in front of him.

Ruby's looking at Dean with pleading, fright filled eyes. If she were human, he might have considered sparing her, but after everything she's done to Sammy, Dean feels a thrill go through him at the thought of feeling the bitch's blood slick up his little girl.

Dean overpowers Ruby easily and pushes her back up against a wall. He holds his knife in position, readying himself to stab Ruby in the heart and end her with one blow.

But Sam's there and he wrestles Dean off of Ruby, pushes him away and takes the demon's blade.

"Hey. Hey, take it easy, Dean," Sam says in a calm voice and stands his ground between his brother and Ruby.

Dean snorts softly as he hears Sam's words and shakes his head. "You know, you did a crap job trying to get away from me," he hisses, taking a step towards Sam and Ruby.

Sam swallows nervously. "Ruby, get out of here," he quickly orders her and then returns his attention to Dean.

"She's not going anywhere," Dean growls and makes an attempt to grab the bitch, but Sam holds him back and she makes a run for it.

"Chuck already told me about the demons you have following me, Dean. I knew you would find me no matter where I went," he admits somewhat bitterly and keeps his eyes locked on Dean's. But then, Sam frowns and takes a step towards his brother, taking a hard look at him.

"Are you drunk?" the moose questions and Dean narrows his eyes on his baby brother. Sam sniffs the air lightly and immediately reels back, away from his big brother. He's amazed that he didn't notice the smell sooner. "God, Dean, you smell like a liquor store."

"I was in one," Dean states his words like it's an obvious fact and then throws his arm out as if he is going to attempt to use telekinesis to throw Sam, but instead just calls Sam's shoulder bag to him. He reaches into the bag and quickly fishes out the magical coin he had planted months ago.

"And this, this is better than any extra set of eyes I have out on the street, Sammy. It leads me right to you, every time," he finishes with a light smirk and watches as Sam's expression falls, then darkens.

"Then why did you let me escape?" Sam asks, his tone sounding devastated as he looks at the small coin resting in the palm of Dean's hand.

Dean curls a lip at the question, barely showing white teeth as anger makes his soul writhe in him. "Someone jammed the signal long enough to let you get this far," he admits, but quickly changes the subject. "Why are you letting Ruby yank you around on a leash, Sam? She's working with Lilith, manipulating you goddammit!"

"She's not manipulating me, Dean! Ruby's trying to help. She's trying to stop the Apocalypse too," Sam tries to reason with his brother and looks to him with pleading, sorrowful eyes. "Please, just trust me the one time I ask you, Dean. I've always trusted you before because you're my brother. Because we're family. Can't you do the same for me now?"

Dean's taken aback by Sam's words. He feels his heart clench with pain and all he can really do is bite back the bitterness and smile sadly. "Trust you? You don't even know what you're doing, Sam!" he speaks quietly at first, but his voice quickly builds up volume and rage and by the end of it, he's yelling at Sam.

"I know what I'm doing, Dean!" Sam argues back and Dean actually snarls at him.

"Then that's worse. Because now, it's not what you're doing. It's what you're becoming," the demon seethes and actually tastes the sulfurous fires of Hell on his tongue because his anger is so great.

Sam straightens his posture at Dean's biting words, stands up to his full height and looks down on his brother with a hard mask on his face. "Then tell me, Dean. What am I becoming?" he asks quietly.

"You're becoming a monster," Dean doesn't hesitate to answer, but as soon as the words finish leaving his lips, Sam punches him hard enough to send him sprawling to the ground again.

"You're more of a monster than I am, Dean! You're a demon, for God's sake!" Sam spits out, breathing hard because his heart is beating fast and adrenaline is flooding his system. He knows he's going to get a fight and he's ready for it.

The demon doesn't linger on the ground long. He slowly rises again and fixes an icy stare on Sam, tilting his head ever so slightly before he clenches a fist and charges at his brother.

Dean shows no mercy and punches Sam in the face as hard as he can and throws another to the side of his head and stomach. He's relentless in his attack, wants to beat Sam to Hell and back for his stupidity and finishes with a kick to the chest that has Sam stumbling back and falling into a mirror.

Sam grunts when his back collides with the glass, but he's quick to recover and comes at Dean with his brother's own knife. He forces the demon back with stroke after stroke of the deadly blade and finally pushes him back into the bathroom. Before Dean realizes where he is or can retaliate, Sam uses his greater reach to grab hold of his brother's hair and mercilessly slam his head into the counter. When he's done enough of that, he throws him back out into the room and into a side table, smashing the wooden furniture.

Dean's reeling after Sam's counterattack, but he forces himself to his feet, stumbling a little and breathing hard. He makes one last blind charge for Sam, but is grabbed by the back of his jacket and thrown through a screen and onto a glass table. He feels the glass and frame of the table shatter beneath him and groans as his back painfully strikes the ground. Dean tries to get up again, tries to force himself to get back up and fight.

Sam is on top of him in no time and the big moose has his knee in Dean's gut, making it hard for the demon to breath and he kind of chokes as he tries to push him off. But Sam is like an immovable mountain right now and he wraps a hand around Dean's throat, pins him down as he presses the switchblade against the soft flesh there.

For a moment, Dean's feeling pure terror. He's terrified that Sam will kill him and that his baby brother really will become the monster he tried so hard to stop him from becoming.

"Sammy," Dean chokes out the name, but it's closer to a nonsensical noise, and he continues to struggle, desperately trying to get Sam off of him and _breathe_.

The pressure suddenly lets up and is gone and Dean coughs, tries to catch his breath because his lungs are demanding air, but he just can't get it in fast enough.

Sam backs away from his brother and towards the door. He is horrified by what he's done, what he almost did. "Dean, I-" he starts, but is quickly cut off.

"If you walk out that door, Sam, don't you ever come back!" Dean growls out weakly, but somehow manages to push himself up so that he's looking up at Sam from the floor and glaring at him for all he's worth.

Those words are the last push Sam needs. He frowns and shakes his head, walking out the door because he realizes that things between him and Dean, they'll never go back to the way things were before.


	15. Lucifer Rising

Never the Same

Part 15

* * *

><p><strong>Location: Singer Salvage Yard - Bobby's House. The Next Day.<strong>

Dean's nursing one hell of a hangover, but, at the moment, it's better than dealing with the fact that Sam actually left him and is running off to become an abomination. However, Bobby's earlier lecture about family is really sinking in now and he's kind of worried that he might have screwed up royally. But he's unwilling to admit it and goes back to denying everything.

"He left after I said those things to him, Bobby," the demon grumbles after the older hunter's been staring at him like he's trying to sift through his brain himself. "He left and didn't even give a damn."

"The boy gave a damn, Dean. He left thinking he could protect you. You were about to do the same for him before you had to go off and drink a damn liquor store," Bobby huffs and shakes his head. "I thought you were better than this."

Dean's shoulders stiffen as he hears Bobby speak, but they quickly relax and the demon's back to staring at the aspirin bottle in his hand like it's a safe he has to crack. "I don't know what you're talking about," he lies easily and finally opens the bottle. He pops a handful of pills into his mouth, swallowing them dry.

"You're acting like your father. Running away from your problems like a coward," Bobby states fearlessly because he knows he's speaking the truth.

Dean swallows thickly. He licks his lips because they suddenly feel dry and he's really thinking about things now. No matter how much a little part of him wants to deny all of this and blame Sam and his freaky blood addiction, he knows he's fucked up too. Knows that he's acting like a coward and that no matter how much he idolizes his father, John Winchester ran away from his problems too.

"Bobby, I gotta-I have to go find, Sammy," Dean speaks in a hurried tone and he's already asking the kids if they've seen him, but there's a strange silence in his mind. And then the room feels different and Dean turns around.

* * *

><p><strong>Location: The Green Room.<strong>

What Dean sees when he turns is not the dark, book-covered living room of Bobby Singer's house, but a beautiful room that looks like it was ripped out of a five star hotel.

"Where the hell am I?" he asks as he takes another look around the room, his brows furrowed in confusion and mild annoyance.

"You're in what we like to call The Green Room," Zachariah's voice suddenly announces from behind the demon.

Dean quickly turns to face the bastard, but sees Castiel standing behind the balding angel too. "You're the ones who let out Sam, aren't you? No demon could have popped Bobby's locks," he accuses them, but knows that it's true. He's not blind. He can smell angel magic a mile off and the Panic Room reeked of it.

Castiel is the one wearing a guilty expression again and Dean has a sick, twisting feeling of déjà vu. This little scene between them reminds him too much of his prior confrontation with Uriel.

"So, what? You mooks want to jump start the Apocalypse? Fry the world and humans along with it?" the demon grinds out, gnashing his teeth in a display of his frustration with the whole situation. "You're supposed to be the good guys!"

Zachariah gives Dean a bored look and waves his hand in the demon's direction, sewing his lips shut so that he can't speak without bleeding. "Haven't we been over this before Dean? We're all supposed to play our roles. The big guy upstairs has been planning this for a _long_ time. So, you're going to wait here so that His party goes off without a hitch, alright?" the angel finishes with a smirk, but it melts into a frown when he has to side step a statue telekinetically thrown at him.

"I can see that you're angry. How about we let you cool down and then come back for a chat later," Zachariah offers, but his tone is ice cold. The angel snaps his fingers as he and Castiel disappear from the room. The stitches are gone, for now, but the temperature in the room has dropped considerably and Dean shivers at the sudden change.

"Dammit," the demon bites out, but clenches his teeth against the steadily dropping temperature. He can already see his breath and he thinks he can see frost beginning to form on the mirrors and paintings.

To Dean, it's obvious that the angels want to break him. Make him bend to their will. But he's better than that and won't give up on Sam, never again, because his baby brother needs him right now and he's going to bust out. Somehow.

Dean takes a quick glance around the room once more, taking stock of what he has at his disposal before he just goes for broke and uses telekinesis to pick up all of the furniture and throws it at the door. It doesn't do much, which frustrates him, but oddly makes him feel a little better at the same time. So he does it again and puts more force behind it, trying to keep himself going despite the near freezing temperatures with the hope that he can help Sam when he breaks out.

* * *

><p><strong>Location: The Hospital - Back Entrance. <strong>

Sam sneaks in through the back entrance of the hospital with Ruby. But as he's progressing down the dark hallway, he pauses and feels a warm weight in his jacket pocket. He reaches in and pulls out Dean's knife. He'd forgotten he had taken it with him when he left his brother lying on the ground back at the hotel.

A sad smile appears on Sam's lips as he feels the warmth radiating from it. It feels familiar and comforting and takes the edge off of his nerves as he wraps his fingers tightly around it. But Sam only allows himself to hold the knife for a moment before he quickly shoves it back into his pocket and moves forward again.

His steps are a little more confident, because now he feels like he has Dean supporting him.

* * *

><p><strong>Location: The Green Room. A few hours later.<strong>

The air in the room has remained just above freezing for some time now, but Dean doesn't trust it. He's just waiting for the temperature to start dropping again and for his meat suit to turn into a human popsicle with him trapped inside of it.

Dean roars and makes one last attempt at busting the walls open with a bullet storm of projectiles gathered from around the room. Yet again, the assault has no lasting effect and the wall is back to its original state in a matter of moments.

"Damn it," he hisses and breathes hard, having exhausted himself with the repeated attempts at escape only to fail each and every time. Dean wipes at the sweat that has gathered on his forehead, but drops his arm and stands up straight as he feels the air shifting around him.

A dozen bodies drop to the ground around Dean. All of them are the corpses of his children.

The demon falls to his hands and knees. He feels and sees their deaths all at once. Feels the burn of angel grace, hollowing them out, starting from the very center and spreading outward like creeping fire, but it hurts so much worse. It has Dean collapsing to the ground in no time, clutching his head and gritting his teeth so tight they might just shatter because he doesn't want to let the bastards hear him scream in agony.

"Zachariah has decreed that for every attempt at escape you make, another of your children will die, Dean," Castiel's voice reaches through the dense fog of mind shattering pain.

Castiel approaches Dean, a sorrow filled but sincere expression on his face. He tries to touch Dean's arm, his mark, and wants to offer him comfort. But the demon pushes him away, rejects him, and snarls like an injured animal.

"Don't touch me!" Dean chokes out, his voice constricted by his pain. He gasps and shudders as he feels his darkness growing, trying to overtake his humanity in an epic battle.

"You know what killing them does to me!" the demon manages to grind out, forces himself to stand on his own two feet, just so he can look Castiel in the eye and let the angel know that he's royally fucked up.

Castiel's gaze flickers from Dean to the walls and back again. Over and over. He doesn't want to meet Dean's eyes, but he knows that he owes Dean at least that much and reluctantly does so. "You gave each of the children a piece of yourself to strengthen them," the angel states in a small voice and his expression falls, darkens as Dean's soul blackens. "You turned them into Seals."

"To protect my humanity," Dean chuckles and his eyes are glowing yellow now, brighter than they have ever been before.

"You know what you're doing is wrong, Cas. You know you're letting them control you like a Muppet. Letting them destroy the Earth because they think their dead beat dad wants this!" Dean spits angrily and uses his power to overpower Castiel and throws him into a wall. He feels stronger than the angel now and doesn't hesitate to use his telekinesis to put a stranglehold around Castiel's neck.

"It's time to pick a side, Cas, and I think you've chosen wrong," the demon growls low, tightening his hold on Castiel just a little more.

But his power wanes as his eyes flash from green to yellow and back again, his humanity fighting for control once more.

Castiel is freed from Dean's hold when the demon hesitates. The angel can hear him chanting streams of 'no' over and over again as he approaches Dean again and reaches out to him. This time, the demon doesn't pull away. He can't.

"You're destabilizing, Dean. It's time to rest," Castiel speaks solemnly and presses two fingers to Dean's temple, watching sadly as he collapses to the ground.

* * *

><p><strong>Location: Ilchester, Maryland - Two Miles from St. Mary's Convent. Night.<strong>

Sam stopped feeling the warmth coming from Dean's knife a while ago, but he doesn't want to think that his brother has given up on him. Not yet, at least.

He has them stop two miles from their destination. Ruby is agitated, but Sam doesn't care.

Sam wants to check his cell phone for any voice mails from Dean. He has one, but it doesn't help him. It just hurts him more because he hears Dean yelling at him, calling him a monster and an abomination all over again. He swallows thickly and feels his heart ache. They really can't go back anymore.

"Do it, Ruby. We need to get ready," Sam speaks solemnly and walks back to the car and Ruby, preparing himself to drink the possessed nurse dry.

* * *

><p><strong>Location: The Green Room.<strong>

Dean slowly comes to at the feeling of warm lips pressing against his own hungrily. The thought that he is being treated like Sleeping Beauty flashes across his mind briefly, but Dean ignores it and leans up into the kiss and into the familiar warmth.

He cracks open his eyes and pulls away from the kiss almost reluctantly, but he isn't surprised when he sees Castiel hovering over him, cocooning them both in his big, off-white wings.

"Dude, you came back," Dean mumbles tiredly, but shudders as he realizes how cold he feels. It's like the cold is sapping the energy and strength right out of him and it leaves him feeling lethargic.

Castiel frowns at the sight of Dean cold. He shrugs off his trench coat and drapes it over Dean before forcing the demon to stand. When Dean is about to question him, he lays his hand over the demon's mouth and gives him a pointed look, telling him to be quiet as he draws away and gets to work.

Dean blinks slowly as he watches Castiel cut his forearm with Ruby's knife, his brain feeling too sluggish to figure out what the hell the angel is planning. But when he sees the plan go into action, he does recognize the sigil that his angel is drawing on the wall in his own blood.

"Castiel, what do you think you're doing?" Zachariah questions as he walks towards them, but Castiel is quick to act and slams his hand against the bloody angel banishing sigil, activating it and expelling his superior from the room, if only temporarily.

"We have to hurry. We must stop Sam from killing Lilith," Castiel speaks in a hurried tone as he forcefully grabs hold of Dean's arm.

Suddenly feeling wary, Dean rips his arm out of Castiel's hold and looks at the scruffy angel suspiciously. "Why? I thought Lilith was going to break the final seal," he asks through grit teeth, trying to bare with the cold and the loss of warmth.

"Lilith _is_ the final seal, Dean. If she dies, Lucifer will be freed from his cage," Castiel informs Dean with a harsh edge to his voice and grabs the demon's arm again. He's glad that Dean doesn't fight against him this time and zaps them out of the room.

* * *

><p><strong>Location: Chuck Shurley's House.<strong>

Chuck gapes when he sees the supernatural pair appear in his living room. He reluctantly hangs up his phone and approaches them, noticing that the trench coat Castiel normally wears is now draped over Dean's shoulders. He frowns, wondering why at first, but quickly pushes it out of his mind and gets back to the matter at hand.

"What are you doing here? I didn't see you come here," the prophet questions, but steps back as Castiel drags Dean towards him. Chuck's frown actually becomes outright worry when he sees this and thinks there must be something wrong with Dean because the guy's shivering like crazy.

"Don't worry about him. He'll recover from the hypothermia in a few minutes," Castiel tries to reassure the human and offers a weak smile, but it fades and the angel is sighing heavily.

"Do you know where Sam and Lilith are?" the angel questions and hangs on a little tighter to Dean when he feels the demon leaning against him stumble.

Chuck nods his head in both agreement and answer, but looks reluctant to reveal the information. "They're in Ilchester, Maryland at a place called St. Mary's Convent. But you two aren't supposed to be there. It's not in the books," he stutters and wrings his hands together nervously as he looks around his home. But the human freezes and looks out the window with wide eyes when he sees them light up with angel light and feels the building around him tremble and quake.

"We're making things up as we go," Castiel chuckles and quickly readjusts his coat around Dean, making sure the demon is actually getting warmer. He's somehow staying calm, even though he knows imminent death is upon them.

"Cas," Dean mumbles nervously, seeing the light too, but what scares him more than archangel wrath is the peaceful expression on his angel's face. It makes him think that Castiel is going to do something stupid and that he won't see him ever again. He winces at the thought and grasps Castiel's jacket desperately.

"Come with me," the demon pleads, but Castiel just shakes his head and offers a loving smile.

"I'll hold the archangel off for as long as I can, Dean. I hope you can someday forgive me for my transgressions," he whispers and presses a kiss to Dean's forehead.

* * *

><p><strong>Location: Ilchester, Maryland - St. Mary's Convent.<strong>

"Cas," Dean whispers in a pleading tone, but knows that he's not with Castiel anymore. The demon looks around, disoriented for a moment before he feels anger flood his veins. Anger towards Castiel for abandoning him _again_. But it's just what he needs to warm himself up and refocus on the task ahead of him.

Dean pulls Castiel's trench coat on over his own jacket and heads in the direction he knows Sam and Lilith are in. And even if he didn't know, he could smell the baby eating bitch a mile off. Plus, it's a straight path lined with demon corpses and no branch offs to get him confused.

When he reaches the corner of the hall, Dean spots Ruby, Sam and Lilith in what used to be the chapel. Dean stiffens his shoulders and curls his lip at Ruby when she turns her head and looks at him, a smug expression on her face as she closes the door on him.

"You have to kill her now, Sam! Hurry!" he can hear Ruby yell at Sam through the thick, wooden doors.

"Sammy, don't!" Dean yells as he rushes the door, uses his powers to try and open them, but he's actually shocked when they're not enough to force the doors open.

Apparently, Ruby is stronger than any of them had originally thought. He has to give the black eyed bitch some credit, though, keeping her strength hidden from him like that.

But his mind comes back to the world ending situation they're in when he hears Lilith's laughs and cries of pain. The sounds renew his efforts and he resorts to using brute force to open the doors.

"Sammy!" he calls out for his brother again and is pounding on the doors with all his supernatural strength.

Dean takes a couple steps back, away from the doors after a minute of useless shoving and focuses his power on the doors. He concentrates as hard as he can to overpower Ruby and just after he starts to develop a headache, he succeeds and runs in. Only to discover that he's too late and that Lilith's blood is forming the door to Lucifer's Cage.

"You're too late, Dean! Sammy opened Lucifer's Cage. We're going to see the end of the world!" Ruby laughs hysterically and both Dean and Sam are staring at her in horror.

"What? But Lilith was supposed to break the final seal. Killing her should have stopped Lucifer's rising," Sam tries to argue despite the obvious truth in front of him.

Dean clenches his jaw and narrows his eyes on Ruby. "Yeah, well, Lucifer's coming back, Sam," he grinds out and calls his knife back to him, the familiar weight of his baby taking off just enough of the edge that he can focus again. He walks up to her as Sam grabs Ruby's shoulders and holds her in place.

Ruby can do nothing but watch in horror as Dean finally gets to stab her and kill her just as he had intended to the night before.

To Dean, Ruby's death is only a brief reprieve from reality before the building starts to quake and a light brighter than anything he has ever seen before starts to spill out of the hole opening up in the ground. He backs up against a wall with Sam clinging to him for dear life and can only watch in horror as their worst nightmare rises from the deepest part of Hell. And Dean would be lying if he said a small part of him wasn't excited by this fact.

* * *

><p>Note: Well, this ends the first part of the story. What awaits us in the second part? How many parts will there be? Why am I such a dork?<p>

Well, we'll have to wait and see.

Oh and I have summer school now so updates will be a little slower.

Hope you enjoyed this though.

Toodles.


	16. Sympathy For The Devil

Never the Same

Part 16

Notes: Unbeta'd. I was too lazy to go all grammar nazi on this thing and check for every little spelling and grammar error. I'll do it some other time and re-post this chapter then.

But for now, I hope you at least enjoy this.

* * *

><p><strong>Location: Ilchester, Maryland - St. Mary's Convent.<strong>

The light is getting increasingly brighter and the beginnings of Lucifer's true voice are being emitted from the hole. Lucifer's voice comes out as quiet, barely there whispers and loud, painful screeching that has Dean and Sam clutching their ears in a vain attempt to block it out.

The effort is especially useless for Dean, who feels the yellow taint inside of him squirm almost joyously at the return of its father and hears Lucifer whispering directly into his ear. The devil is questioning Dean and tempting him to work for him, to bring an end to the miserable humans.

Dean, desperate to get away from the temptations, blindly pushes Sam towards the exit, but the doors close on them again and, this time, Dean knows he doesn't have it in him to overpower Lucifer. He turns back to look at the light in horror for a brief moment before panic strikes him and he just pounds on the door, needing to get as far away from Lucifer as possible.

But the attempts are futile and the brothers can do nothing but stare at the hole in the ground as Lucifer's Cage is opened and the convent is filled with destructive light.

* * *

><p><strong>Location: Over Ilchester, Maryland - In A Plane.<strong>

Dean blinks and lowers his arms slowly when he doesn't hear the screeching or see the white light anymore. He looks around himself quickly and find himself and Sam on a plane.

"How did we get here?" Sam asks skeptically and he's taking a look around too because he can hardly believe that they're out of the convent.

"I have no idea," Dean answers kind of numbly.

No one seems to notice their sudden appearance and Dean can vaguely hear the pilot announcing over the PA that they're flying over Ilchester, the place where the brothers were just moments ago.

But suddenly, the pilot is cursing and Dean feels the plane shaking violently as a pillar of light shoots out of the ground, where the convent was. The emergency oxygen masks drop down, but Dean ignores them. He's clutching at Castiel's trench coat in a white knuckled grip as he looks out the window and watches the end of the world begin.

* * *

><p><strong>Location: Chuck Shurley's Home - Later That Night.<strong>

It's not until they're safely on the ground and already sneaking into Chuck's place that Sam finally notices what Dean is wearing. He wants to ask why his brother is wearing Castiel's trench coat, but decides against it and to save it for later. When Dean's not wearing such a determined and on edge expression.

Taking a cursory glance around the house, it looks like it was the scene of a massacre with blood staining almost ever inch of the lower level of the disheveled home. It's dark though, so the blood splatter isn't terribly easy to see, but, nonetheless, it makes Dean's stomach knot up. It makes him feel like he's going to puke, even though he's seen and gone through so much worse.

A creaking floorboard grabs the attention of the brothers and they go to investigate, only for Sam to take a plunger to the head from Chuck.

"Sam? Dean! You guys are alive!" Chuck exclaims in a mixture of surprise and relief. The prophet looks about as disheveled and bloody as his home and Dean can't help but feel a little sympathy for the guy.

"You're ok," the prophet whispers, relief having taken over his tone completely. "The last vision I saw of you guys, Sam was pulling a Vader with heart rate and temperature off the charts. Sam, your eyes were black."

"They were?" the brothers ask at the same time, Sam's tone more curious while Dean's is somewhat angry.

Dean can see that his anger won't get them anywhere, so he shoves it away, locks it up tight, and steers this conversation back to the reason why they are here in the first place. "Chuck, where's Cas?" he asks, tone urgent and demanding and also nervous because the answer is all around him, but he doesn't want to believe it because that would be too much.

Chuck's eyes widen minutely at the question. "Umm, well, Castiel is dead. Gone. The archangel smote the crap out of him," he answers quickly and makes vague hand gestures towards the walls.

Sam takes the hint and looks around the ruined room, his brows furrowing in thought and wonder as he spots splashes of blood and various other components of the human body he doesn't really want to recognize. "So, Castiel, exploded?" his tone is hesitant as he sets the question on the table.

"Yeah. Sort of like a water balloon filled with chunky soup," Chuck replies and he looks exhausted.

Dean swallows thickly, but sets his face into a stoic mask and just looks around the room again, looks at what's left of Castiel. "Cas, you stupid bastard," he grinds out, letting all of his bitterness and anger bleed into his words because he doesn't want to let anyone see just how torn up he is by the news that _his angel is dead_.

"Stupid? Dean, he sacrificed himself to help us," Sam looks like he's offended for Castiel, but Dean gives his brother a cold glare.

"Yeah, he did. And look at where it landed him," Dean hisses, gesturing sarcastically to the room and the blood stains. But, hidden in the sleeves of the trench coat, Dean's fists are clutching the material, holding onto it like an anchor.

Suddenly Chuck tenses up and he's looking around the room nervously again. "We've got company," he barely breathes the words before Dean's turning towards the ruined kitchen and looking like he's ready to tear someone apart.

"I thought we would find you here. Now, it's time to come with us, Dean. You need to be cleaned up for the big show," Zachariah's voice calls out almost too cheerily and it grates on Dean's ears, makes him snarl and snap and shift into a stance that's all predator and no mercy.

"You stay the hell away from me, ass-hat," Dean bites out, backing away from the angels in front of him and back towards Sam and Chuck, people that he knows he can trust.

Zachariah tilts his head and looks shocked, confused even. "You're upset," he makes the statement like it's the most mysterious thing in the world to him. Like he can't even fathom why Dean Winchester might be upset.

"Yeah, a little. You did jump-start the Apocalypse," the demon throws back, his tone dripping with sarcasm and venomous hatred.

"Oh, no. You've got us wrong, Dean. We didn't start the Apocalypse, we just allowed it to happen," Zachariah is back to his cheery voice and acting all innocent again. "But, come on. Let's set our differences aside and work together again. We're on the same team, after all."

Dean can feel his soul writhe and seethe inside of him like a snake ready to strike, but, instead of pouncing and tearing out the angel's throat like his instincts tell him to, he stands up straight and narrows his eyes on Zachariah. He lets his eyes bleed yellow and he holds his head up high so that he can look down on the balding angel. And he kind of shuts down his other self because he doesn't want to give Zachariah the privilege of being treated like a decent living being.

"I don't think both of us wanting the devil dead puts us on the same team, Zachariah. So, you can cram it with walnuts," he says with a cold voice and a colder smirk.

The angel narrows his eyes on Dean and looks at him like he's an insect that's buzzing around his head.

"_I_ don't think _you_ fully understand the situation you are in. Lucifer is powerful in ways that can not be _described_. And once he finds a vessel, we're talking four horsemen, fiery skies, red oceans, _all _of the greatest hits," Zachariah tries to argue, but it's obvious Dean doesn't want to listen. So he pulls out his trump card. "You're the only one who can stop all of this, Dean. Save your precious little brother and the rest of this world. But you can't do it alone. You need _our_ help."

Dean's expression softens and he tilts his head ever so slightly as a falsely sweet smile touches his lips. "Is that right?" he asks, his smile growing just a little lop-sided.

"Well, after everything you've done to me, you can shove your help up your ass and run back to Heaven. Don't pass go. Don't fucking collect two hundred dollars. Just go straight back to Heaven," the demon finishes with a sneer.

"Now, you listen to me, demon boy. You think you can rebel against us, like Lucifer did?" Zachariah barks back, his anger seeping into his voice. But the angel pauses, frowning as he spots blood dripping from Dean's hand.

"You're bleeding," he states numbly and raises his gaze to look at the demon again.

Dean's lips twitch as if he's about to smirk again, but he forces himself to keep a straight face. "Being one of Lucifer's kids kind of makes it obvious that we're going to rebel," the demon chuckles softly and spins on his heels as he pulls out the sliding door with the angel banishing sigil painted on it.

The moment Zachariah sees the familiar symbol, he panics. He tries to rush towards Dean, but it's too late and the demon activates the sigil, banishing the angels with a flash of light.

Chuck's expression is a mixture of awe, shock and horror all at once. The prophet looks like he's about to hyperventilate, but he still somehow manages to stutter out his words. "Dean, you were totally pulling a Alastair back there."

Sam gives Dean a hurt and angry expression that's mixed into his bitch face at Chuck's words. But Dean, he just blinks his eyes back to green and sets his jaw a little bit tighter.

* * *

><p><strong>Location: Regent Inn Hotel - Dean and Sam's Room. Later That Day.<strong>

Sam walks back into the room with a pair of hex bags that he says will hide them from demons and angels.

Dean catches the one tossed to him, but he doesn't really feel like questioning where they came from. It's obvious that this sort of thing can't be picked up on the internet and that Ruby was the one to have showed this to Sam.

"So, how are you holding up? Feeling any cravings for bitch blood?" he asks in an attempt to distract himself, even though he's already trying to distract himself by taking inventory of their weapons. But Dean feels like he just needs the noise.

Sam approaches Dean, but stops a few feet away, suddenly feeling and looking hesitant. He sighs and just shrugs his shoulders, though Dean's not really looking at him.

"I feel great, actually. No shakes. No fever. It's like whoever put us on that plane cleaned me right up," the younger brother tries to explain, but even he finds his words sketchy.

Dean looks up from his weapons checks, wearing a contemplative look and then looks at Sam. But he shakes his head and just smiles faintly. "Supernatural methadone, huh?" he says with a bit of a chuckle, but he can feel the tension beginning to build up again.

"Yeah, I guess. But Dean-" Sam starts, only to be cut off by the demon.

"Sam, it's alright. We're not going to talk about this," Dean states and goes back to cleaning the weapons.

Sam frowns and lets his shoulders sag. "That's fine and all, but I wasn't going to talk about what happened with Lucifer, Dean. Because there's not much I _can_ say about that. But I was going to ask about, you know, Castiel's trench coat," he finishes with a pointed look at the trench coat Dean has refused to take off ever since they left the convent.

Dean blinks and looks down at the trench coat like he's forgotten that he was wearing it. "Cas put it on me before we left for Chuck's. Zach gave me a pretty bad case of hypothermia," he replies with a faint smile, but he doesn't want to take off the garment. It feels like a second skin to him.

* * *

><p>Later that night, Dean still refuses to talk about what happened in the convent or take off the trench coat, even though Sam can tell it must be getting pretty hot under it.<p>

But the issue is dropped when there's a knocking at their door. Sam and Dean immediately sit up, alert and ready to fight if need be.

Dean's not sure if he should be relieved, disappointed or amused that their guest is nothing more than a fan girl who's groping his baby brother every chance she gets. The groping is something he could do without, but Sam's mortified expression makes the visit worth it. That and the message the girl, Becky, delivers to them.

_The Michael Sword is in a castle, on a hill made of forty two dogs_.

* * *

><p>The next day, they have Bobby come over to help them research what on earth the Michael Sword is and possibly how to find it. But the moment the rough around the edges and surly old man steps in, Dean senses something off in the air.<p>

"I'll leave the research to you guys. I need to check something out," Dean excuses himself and steps outside of the room.

Dean's gone only a few minutes, canvassing the building and the block around it, but when he comes back, he feels like he's missed something.

Sammy is walking out of the room with a kicked puppy expression on his face that he's trying hard to mask, but failing spectacularly at it.

"What'd I miss?" Dean asks as he settles down at the table covered in dusty, old books.

"Nothin' much. Sam just told me about how he started the Apocalypse," Bobby answers with an irritated sigh. "You figure out anything about that prophecy?"

Dean frowns faintly when he hears Bobby's answer. It makes him feel like something is really wrong. But he didn't see anything suspicious when he had gone out, so he sets the feeling aside and rises from his seat.

"Uh. Yeah. I think I came up with something while I was out," he says as he walks over to his bag and digs out a plastic bag full of cards from his dad. "I was thinking the prophecy might have been talking about one of dad's old lock-ups in up state New York."

Dean walks over to Bobby and shows him the note card he pulled out of the stack.

"Castle Storage, 42 Rover Hill," Bobby reads aloud and Dean's feeling proud of himself for figuring this out. "This ain't bad, boy. So, you think your dad had the Michael Sword locked up this whole time?"

"Well, this is kind of all we have to go on. I'm not sure what else Chuck could have meant," Dean chuckles softly, but suddenly frowns because the feeling that something is wrong is bugging him again.

"That's good enough for me," Bobby says in a voice that doesn't sound like him.

Dean's eyes widen as he jumps back, avoiding a demon-killing knife to the heart. He curses loudly and mentally yells at himself to trust his instincts more next time, if there is a next time.

To Dean's luck, a group of demons choose that moment to barge into his room, led by a female with long, dark brown hair.

"Dean, Dean, Dean. I always knew you were a slow, dumb, pain in the ass. But it took you this long to realize that we had your daddy tied down?" she mocks him with a smile on her scarlet painted lips. The she-demon takes the opportunity to kick Dean in the chest while he's still reeling from the news and takes Ruby's knife from the demon in Bobby's meat suit.

The cronies that had followed her into the room rush over to Dean and pin him down on the ground.

She tilts her head and smiles sweetly, advancing on the more than angry demon in front of her. "So, you think you can actually ice the Devil? Alastair always said you were dumber than you looked," she chirps and jabs her heel into his chest painfully.

"Meg," Dean spits out angrily, but grunts in pain as her heel digs harder into his ribs.

"It's good to see you again, Dean. It's been a while, right? But I'm afraid we're going to have to say our heartfelt good-byes again. You see, you're the only bump in the road to our Hell on Earth, so, every demon wants a piece of you," she states a little too happily and leans forward so that she can run the knife under Dean's chin and watch him squirm as it burns his skin. But she leans a little bit closer, using her free hand to cup Dean's chin as she forces him into an open mouthed kiss.

Dean wants to gag into the kiss, but resists and swears he can taste something very familiar on her tongue as she slides it against his. When Meg pulls away, Dean's frowning and just a little confused. "Did you eat a PB&J before you came here?"

Meg ignores the question and backs off, passing the knife back to Bobby. "Though I would love to kill you myself, yellow eyes, I think I'll give that honor to your daddy here. He's screaming 'no,' but I think I want him to learn what it feels like to carve up his own son," she finishes with a smirk and turns to watch as Bobby advances on Dean.

Dean's eyes widen as he watches Bobby come closer with the knife and he curses at the demons who have him pinned down in a mockery of Jesus on the cross. "Bobby! Bobby don't do this!" he pleads and vaguely wonders if Meg poisoned him with her kiss, because he feels weak and he sure as hell can't use his powers right now.

The demon in Bobby is still coming closer, but his comrades are hauling Dean up faster than he can register it and pushing him up against the wall, making the scene look that much more blasphemous.

"Get it over with already," Meg yells at the demon when he moves too slowly for her taste.

"Bobby, get a hold of yourself!" Dean roars and struggles to fight against his captors while staring at the knife because it could very well spell his pathetic death.

Sam with his impeccable timing rushes into the room just as Dean breaks free and Bobby's stabbing himself with the demon knife.

The boys feel panic strike like lightning at the sight, but decide it's best to fight off the demons first before they drag Bobby over to the nearest emergency room. Dean's one regret after the whole thing is over is that he couldn't stop Meg from fleeing her meat suit.

* * *

><p><strong>Location: Castle Storage - John's Lock-Up. Later That Night.<strong>

Dean should have really seen this coming, because when they enter the lock-up, there are demon bodies lying on the ground and Zachariah with some angel muscle waiting for them. He already knows the door's been sealed shut behind him, so he doesn't even bother trying to use their only escape route.

"Here for the Michael Sword?" Dean asks a little too sarcastically.

"Yes. You just hand delivered it to us," Zachariah replies about enthusiastically as a rock.

Sam frowns and looks at the angel with a questioning gaze. "But we didn't bring anything," he says, pointing out the obvious.

Zachariah takes a step closer, towards the brothers, a smile on his ugly face. "It's Dean. Dean's the Michael Sword. _The vessel_," he supplies the information, making it sound as if it is the most obvious fact in existence.

Dean narrows his eyes, skeptical and finding this information too hard to believe. "In case you haven't noticed, I'm a _demon_. I don't think an archangel is going to want to wear _my_ meat suit to girls' night out," he growls, but stands his ground when Zachariah moves a little closer.

"Well, that's not a problem. I'm sure we, or well, Michael, could polish you back to your former shine. You know, wash off all those unsightly demon stains. He just needs your consent," Zachariah smiles mirthfully, but Dean's not feeling the cheer.

"Yeah, no thanks. I think I'll pass on the offer to live as an archangel condom," the demon bites back, but freezes when he hears a bone break and Sammy crying out in pain as he falls to the ground. Dean turns to Sam faster than lightning and then turns back to Zachariah and gives the angel a dirty glare.

"Keep giving me dirty looks like that and I think you'll have to worry about something worse than broken legs," Zachariah bites out, his tone impatient. "Now, be a good little demon and say yes, so that we can have our general and fight the Adversary."

"Eat me," Dean retorts and curls his lips in a snarl.

"Ok, how about this. Your friend Bobby, we know he's gravely injured. Say yes, he walks. Say no, he'll be in a wheelchair for the rest of his life," the angel threatens.

Dean sets his jaw tight and forces out his answer after a long moment. "No."

Zachariah narrows his eyes. "Alright. You pushed me to this, Dean. Say yes and we'll give your brother's lungs back."

Dean's eyes widen as he hears the words. His heart sinks when he hears and sees Sammy gasping for breath, struggling to breathe. But he can see the message that Sam is trying to give him, even as he's suffocating.

"Just kill us, because I'll never say yes to you sons of bitches," Dean snaps. But suddenly he hears his own bones breaking and he collapses to the ground, gritting his teeth against the pain that's lancing up through his arms and legs.

"Kill you? Never. We're just getting-" Zachariah starts, but is cut off when a bright light fills a corner of the room.

Castiel is there, minus the trench coat that Dean's been too stubborn to take off for anything other than changing his clothes, and he's kicking ass. He's killed one of Zachariah's lackeys and is just taking his angel killing sword out of another when Zachariah faces him.

"How are you alive?" the balding angel asks numbly.

"That's a good question," Castiel replies sarcastically. "How did these two end up on that airplane? Because the angels didn't do it."

"No, that's not possible," Zachariah continues with a frown and Dean can't really follow the angel talk anymore.

"It scares you, I know. And you should be afraid," Castiel speaks in a commanding and icy tone, taking a step closer to Zachariah with his sword in hand, ready to kill the other should he not obey. "Now, put the Winchesters back to how they were and leave."

Zachariah leaves without another word, but the brothers are breathing easy again and Castiel quickly approaches them as they get back to their feet.

"Cas," Dean breathes the name out in disbelief, but he blinks as he remembers the trench coat and quickly takes it off, giving it back to its owner. He smiles when Castiel takes the trench coat graciously and slips it back on.

"Thank you, for keeping this safe, Dean," Castiel smiles faintly before he presses his hands to both Sam's and Dean's ribs and the brothers are hissing in pain.

"What the hell was that for?" Dean asks, exasperated and pressing a hand to his sore ribs. He feels like he and Sam have already had more than enough pain for the week.

"I have carved Enochian sigils into your ribs," Castiel supplies calmly, "They will keep you hidden better than your hex bags and will hide you from every angel in Creation, including Lucifer and myself."

Castiel is wearing an amused smile at Dean's and Sam's expressions of disbelief. But the angel walks up to Dean and suddenly has a fist in the demon's hair, pulling him down for a heated kiss that leaves Sam feeling awkward because there's nothing he wants to do less than watch Dean get caught up in a lip lock.

"We will talk later," the angel in the trench coat states calmly, as if nothing had just happened and disappears from the storage room.

Dean stares at where Castiel was standing for a few moments, his eye brows raised in wonder.

"Dean, don't you dare try to make a joke out of this," Sam grinds out. "We almost died!"

The demon looks back to his little brother and smiles wryly. "What can I say? Cas has a way with tongues."

Sam rolls his eyes and storms out of the room, too tired to deal with Dean right now.


	17. Good God Y'All

Never the Same

Part 17

Note: I soldiered through this too. I'm sorry if it's obnoxiously obvious I was more interested in the beginning and the end of this chapter more than I was in the middle. But honestly...you can't change much about this and skipping out on a Horseman just doesn't feel right.

* * *

><p><strong>Location: St. Martin's Hospital - Bobby's Room. <strong>

Dean's kind of reeling after Castiel informs them that he can not heal Bobby. That he can no longer heal anyone because he has been cut off from Heaven.

Though it has always been his plan to get Castiel to fall, now that the angel actually has fallen, or is in the process of falling, he can see how distressed his scruffy tax accountant is.

And it's sad that the best Dean can do for his angel is just rest a hand on his shoulder and squeeze him tight, let him know that he's still here and not alone.

Castiel accepts the touch, but he's looking up at Dean with fiery blue eyes and a determined expression. "Dean, I'm going to search for God," he informs Dean as well as Sam and Bobby, who are a captive audience in the small hospital room.

The demon blinks, thinks he didn't hear his angel right and looks at him with a worried, but annoyed expression. "Cas, God doesn't give a rat's ass about what goes on down here," he snaps a little too harshly and tries to pull his hand away, but Castiel is holding him there, using strength that shouldn't be in that small frame.

"God is out there, Dean. He is the one who began _everything_. The only one who can stop Michael and Lucifer. He can stop the Apocalypse. He would not just abandon us, _his children_," Castiel tries to argue with the demon and locks their gazes together, refusing to look away or back down. His jaw is set tight and it's obvious that he's angry and hurt by Dean's words.

Dean's lips twitch up slightly, forming a snarl that quickly melts away at Castiel's own anger. "Fine. Just tell us, how exactly do you plan on finding God?" he asks, his tone sarcastic and barbed.

Castiel's eyes narrow on Dean. He's hurting now. Hurting really bad and he's full of rage. Rage at Dean for not trusting him and rage for Dean's attempts to make his endeavor seem like nothing more than a child's game. But he pushes it all aside, attempting to keep himself calm, and lets his hold on the demon's hand go, lets the hand anchoring him fall.

His gaze drifts down to Dean's necklace, the one that he received from Sam many years ago. "Dean, I need to borrow your necklace. The amulet will burn hot in God's presence. It will help me find Him," he urges, but can already see Dean putting up his defenses.

When Castiel's gaze falls to the amulet around his neck, his eyes widen and he realizes what Castiel wants. But it's a gift from Sammy, something he values almost as much as his own life. Maybe even more.

"No," Dean stiffly answers, but immediately feels the heat of Castiel's glare on him.

"Dean, give it to me," Castiel presses, his voice hard and making it very clear he does not want to negotiate.

"No," Dean repeats, his voice just as hard as his angel's.

Castiel relaxes minutely, but his gaze is searching, looking for something in Dean's eyes. When he doesn't find what he's looking for, his stance is tense again.

"I _rebelled_ for you, Dean. And you _failed_ me. You made me _murder_ my brothers. You made me _fall_, for _nothing_," the angel snaps back, his anger and bitterness seeping into his voice as he pushes himself closer to Dean's face. "You can give me at least this much."

Dean immediately backs away at the angel's tone, shocked by Castiel's wrath. And he feels guilty too. Horribly guilty for putting his angel through all of that. But he's still reluctant to just give away the amulet.

The demon looks down at the necklace, torn between being selfish and helping out his angel, because Castiel looks desperate for it.

After a long silence, Dean's will breaks and he reluctantly takes off the necklace and places it in Castiel's open hand. "Just…just keep it safe, alright?" he tries to smile for Castiel because the angel's beaming like a kid on Christmas morning, or at least, it's the angelic equivalent of that. A small, barely noticeable upturn of the corners of his eyes and lips is all that's really there.

"Thank you, Dean," Castiel speaks softly and he really is grateful. He wraps his fingers around the amulet tightly, vowing to keep it safe as Dean had asked. "I will keep in touch."

Castiel's gone after that, but not even a few minutes after the angel's vacated the building, Bobby's getting a call from Rufus for a big job in River Pass, Colorado.

* * *

><p><strong>Location: River Pass, Colorado - Main Street.<strong>

Though Sam hates the idea, Dean decides to bring along his kids for the hunt, claiming his reason as "This is a big hunt and having some extra hands will be helpful." But the kids are on strict orders to evacuate should they be injured or put into a situation they can't handle on their own, because Dean can't risk having anymore of his Seals broken, though he doesn't say it out loud.

For now, they've split up into teams of two to explore the town. But what Dean doesn't anticipate when he and Sam walk into the ghost town is the chaos that's already swallowed the town whole. He can feel it permeating the air and almost taste it on his tongue. It tastes like ashes and blood.

"What do you think happened here?" Sam hesitantly asks, the silence of the town almost deafening.

"Hell if I know, Sammy," Dean replies, holding his shotgun at the ready in case anything decides to attack them.

The sound of a gun cocking grabs the brothers' attentions. They whip around to face the threat, but instead find a familiar face.

"Ellen?" Sam calls out in equal amounts surprise and joy.

"Good to see you boys," Ellen greets them, but she doesn't let go of her pistol. She keeps walking right up to them, barrel aimed at the older brother's head, and before Dean can get a word in, she throws holy water at his face.

Dean spits the water out and vaguely wonders if Bobby's been calling people to tell them to douse him with holy water the next time they see him.

"We're us," Dean supplies, annoyed and tired of all the little demon tests that don't affect him. He's especially annoyed with the carefully hidden, amused glance Sam's throwing his way.

* * *

><p><strong>Location: River Pass, Colorado - Church.<strong>

After they're done with their greetings and they've been briefed on the situation, Ellen leads them to a church that Dean is only able to enter because the Devil's Traps they drew had minor errors in them. But he won't mention it. Besides, the salt lines are enough to keep out the lesser demons any day.

Though, once they're in, Dean receives a slap from Ellen and a lecture about keeping in touch. Ellen's ire is only derailed after Dean agrees to put her on his speed dial, while the demon wonders why he ends up getting the brunt of the slaps and lectures.

When they finally get into the heart of the little base, Dean sets his jaw and smoothes out his expression.

There are only a handful of people here, maybe ten at best, and from the looks of them, very few of these people are really fit to be fighters.

"We need to get these people out of here," Dean states solemnly, but Ellen's throwing him a dirty look and he's kind of shocked.

"We tried that earlier. There used to be twenty of us," Ellen grimly informs them and Dean's looking at the room full of people, all of them on edge and some of them defenseless.

"We could give them all guns," Sam chips in and continues after he's done with the incredulous looks he gets from Ellen and his brother. "Look, the more salt we can get out, the better our chances are."

It's a sound argument neither Ellen or Dean are willing to argue with.

* * *

><p>It's later, after Ellen comes back with news that Sam's been captured by demons possessing Jo and Rufus, that Dean regrets everything hurtful he said to his baby brother. He's been hard on him, he knows that, but he's also just worried for Sam and wants him to be ok. To be normal. Or as close to normal as hunters can get.<p>

But with some of the other information Ellen and the townspeople give him, Dean becomes suspicious and thinks this might not be a demon attack at all. And his suspicions, coupled with the reports he keeps getting from the kids that salt and holy water don't work on these demons just makes him that much more certain of what's going on.

He quickly grabs a bible, deciding to do some research of his own, and flips through the pages, stopping in Revelation.

"_And there fell a great star from heaven, burning like a torch and it fell upon the river, and the name of the star was Wormwood. And many men died_," he reads the passage aloud, finishing with a look to Ellen. Dean can see that she understands his meaning clearly because she's unhappy and on edge, like he is.

"Revelation 8:10? Are you saying these are signs of the Apocalypse?" the pastor asks and receives his answer in the form of a simple, pointed look from Dean.

"Sorry to say this, but yeah. It is. Do you know which one rides the red horse?" Dean counters with a question of his own.

"War."

Dean's on his feet as soon as he gets his answer. "That's it! They think we're demons and we think they're demons! But what if there are no demons? What if we're just going bat-shit crazy and killing each other because of War?" he exclaims, but he's thinking his revelation might not have gone down so well with the other people in the room.

"So, you're saying there are no demons and that War is some guy," the soldier repeats as he paces around the room.

Dean doesn't have any time to reply before he hears pounding at the door and a familiar voice shouting. He frowns, wondering when Roger had gotten out. But it's clear to Dean what's going on as soon as the guy bursts in and opens his mouth.

Dean and Roger go back and forth about the demons, the former trying to calm the people down and remind them that there aren't any demons. But the latter, he's stoking the fire, throwing fuel on it, and making the people doubt Dean as they gather weapons for the escape.

And then he sees it. Dean sees Roger, or whatever the hell he is, wink at him and hold up a hand bearing a simple gold band on his ring finger.

Dean's eyes widen in realization as he connects the dots. War has disguised himself as Roger.

But the revelation comes too late and War's already sicking the townspeople on him and Ellen, making them think that they're the demons attacking them.

Dean's rushing Ellen out of the room, trying to protect her, but he takes a blast to the back from one of the salt rounds they had prepared. He curses loudly and hisses at the pain, but Dean keeps his eyes shut tight for Ellen's sake because he can feel them changing color now. The demon grunts, but bears with the pain as best he can and makes a run for it.

* * *

><p><strong>Location: River Pass, Colorado - Rufus and Jo's Hideout.<strong>

Dean and Ellen are forced to make their way to Rufus and Jo to get some back up. The only problem is, Ellen figures out Dean's a demon pretty fast when he's slowing down a little too much from a supposedly non-lethal round.

Dean ends up giving his knife to Ellen and telling her to stab him dead if he ever tries something stupid just to make her feel better. It doesn't do much, but it's enough for now and they're able to move on again.

When they find the house, Dean has to stop them from entering. If he knows Rufus, the old man's set up some nasty welcoming gifts for them.

He takes care of the pipe bombs at the windows easily with barely a thought and moves to grab Rufus through the window while Ellen deals with Jo in the house.

Rufus, for an old hunter, is one hell of a fighter. Dean would appreciate that fact in any other situation, but when he's the one getting beaten up, it kind of sucks. However, with his superior strength, it doesn't take Dean long to pin Rufus down.

"Listen to me! Just give me a minute and listen," Dean bites out, trying to reason with the other hunter. He gets spit in the face for his efforts, but Dean takes it all in stride and wipes it off while still pinning Rufus down with one arm.

"You know, that was pretty uncalled for," Dean wants to say, but he doesn't and instead says, "You're being tricked, Rufus. This is all an illusion created by War. The Horseman. There are no demons attacking this town!"

Dean lets the information sink in, waiting for Rufus to digest it, but he's ready and willing to go over the material again if need be in order to get Rufus to stop attacking him. But when he sees the other man visibly relax, he sighs and smiles, getting off of the old hunter and offering a hand to help him stand. "Glad you're back to your senses."

From then on after the whole family reunion, is what Dean likes to call smooth sailing.

Humans are bat shit crazy in his opinion so when they're attacking, things can get a lot worse than with monsters.

So smooth sailing is more of a metaphor for he wishes he was back in Hell and didn't have to deal with this shit.

But there's no use running from the battle. Not when he's got Sam free and they're running out to chase down War and steal his ring because Sammy's the genius that figured out that's where the big guys powers are.

For a Horsemen, the guy's easy to subdue, but Dean's not going to complain about small blessings. They've got War's Ring and the town is just a little bit less crazy now.

But before they leave the town, Ellen calls Dean and Sam up for a chat with her, Jo and Rufus. Dean's forced to explain himself and why he is a demon, but Sam and Bobby, over Rufus's satellite phone, are able to confirm the information and pledge that he's not out to kill them. Or at least not suicidal enough to try. For that, Dean gives Sam a dirty look.

* * *

><p><strong>Location: Motel - Dean's Room.<strong>

Dean and Sam parted ways after the incident in River Pass. He's a little sad that Sammy's not around, but Dean has been having issues trusting his baby brother lately anyways, so this might really be for the best. Or so he tells himself.

However, his instincts are already running wild without Sam around. He can hear John yelling at him to protect Sam and Dean hears his own voice calling him a failure for becoming the thing that hunted down and made Sammy a freak.

And on top of all that, he can still hear Lucifer whispering in his ear. A lot of sweet nothings and temptations that Dean tries to block out, but he finds it hard.

His and Castiel's relationship keeps hitting rough patches and Lucifer's taking advantage of that, prying off scabs and making all the wounds in his soul bleed and ache again.

The Devil keeps promising to make things better for him if he just gives in and works for him.

Dean refuses the offers and stares long and hard at his blade, his baby girl, and considers doing something stupid to get the voices to stop torturing him.

But Castiel chooses that moment to appear and Dean's smiling sadly, like he's saying nothing happened, when in reality, too much has happened.

"So, how's the search going?" the demon asks, pretending that nothing's wrong, and makes room for Castiel on the cheap motel bed. He's glad when the angel doesn't hesitate to sit with him.

Castiel takes the seat offered to him by Dean and wraps an arm around his shoulders, pulling the demon close to his side. He takes a moment to just lean against Dean before he finally brings himself to answer the question.

"The search has been…slow," the angel admits with a sigh.

But Castiel pushes his own worries aside and looks at Dean. Really looks at him and sees him for the exhausted and broken man he is. And yet this is the man that Castiel fell in love with. The man who he had cursed and yelled at this morning because they were fighting over something that was inevitable.

Castiel is aware that the Apocalypse would have taken place had Dean escaped or not, but he's not sure Dean is.

Dean closes his eyes warily when Castiel falls silent and attempts to block out the whispers again. At least they're quieter with Castiel around.

"Dean," Castiel suddenly calls out and Dean kind of jumps like he wasn't expecting the sound.

At this, Castiel crushes the demon to his side and drags him down to lie on the bed.

Dean struggles uselessly against the bone crushing hug, but he sighs and eventually gives up, too exhausted to keep up his act.

"Cas, can we-" Dean starts but is cut off by Castiel's kiss.

It's deep, sweet, loving and has Dean melting like a pile of goo into it.

"I will ravish you for as long as you desire, Dean," Castiel purrs and bites at Dean's lower lip, mischief and love mingling in the dark blue depths of his eyes.

Dean smirks and reaches over to turn out the light.

Tonight is going to be a good night.


	18. The End Part 1

Never the Same

Part 18

* * *

><p><strong>Location: On the Road.<strong>

Dean just feels lighter and good and he didn't realize how much he missed feeling good. Didn't realize how much he had missed spending time with just Castiel until his angel had come to him for help.

At first, Dean had thought Castiel's plan to call down Raphael for information on God's whereabouts was suicidal. But he had eventually gotten into it. Though this had only been after Castiel agreed to one last roll under the sheets in case anything went wrong and one or both of them ended up not walking away from the ordeal unscathed.

Luckily, trapping the archangel went off without a hitch. But Dean can tell that Raphael's words, that God is dead and has abandoned them, has cut deep and something in Castiel is slowly twisting and breaking apart inside.

"Look, Cas, don't listen to the mutant ninja angel. Me, I know what it's like looking for a missing father. Hell, there were times when all logic said my dad was dead, but I kept looking for him anyways. I knew in my heart, that he was alive, so I didn't give up. And that's all that really matters," the demon tries his best to lift Castiel's spirits and wipe the sad expression off of his angel's face. "What do you believe?"

Castiel is silent for a long moment. Just keeping his eyes forward, on the slick with rain road and the darkness that stretches infinitely out in front of them. But then he turns his head and meets Dean's gaze.

"I believe that he is still out there," the angel finally replies, his voice unwavering, showing just how strongly he believes in his words.

Dean smiles faintly at the tone of Castiel's voice. "Then go find him," he speaks, his voice a little bit lighter because he thinks Castiel is alright now and that it's finally alright to take his eyes off of his angel so that he can drive again.

"What about you, Dean?" Castiel suddenly asks and the demon's pleasantly surprised by the question.

"Honestly? I'm feeling pretty good, Cas. Better than I have been in a long time. It's weird, but…not having my family around? Not being chained to them? I feel…happy," he admits with a wry smile. Dean knows he should feel guilty that he's had a better time investigating and just hanging out with Castiel in the past twenty four hours than he has with Sam in the past four years. He knows that and he lets Castiel know that too, but he doesn't feel any regrets when he admits it.

But when Dean turns to look at Castiel again, his angel's gone and though he's a little saddened by that, he doesn't think anything can really bring him down with the mood he's in.

After a few hours of driving solo, Dean pulls over onto the side of the road. He's not tired, he hasn't felt sleepy in the entire time since he came back from Hell. But the demon just wants to rest his eyes and stop thinking for a little while.

* * *

><p><strong>Location: Dean's Dream - Inside the Impala.<strong>

Dean's smiling faintly as he listens to Foreigner's 'Long, Long Way From Home' playing from his baby's speakers. He taps his hands against the steering wheel to the beat of the song and even sings along for his favorite parts.

The song suddenly changes to Lynyrd Skynyrd's 'Sweet Home Alabama' and Dean's looking up, confused by the shift in atmosphere.

"Hello, Dean," a voice calls from the passenger seat.

Dean immediately turns to face the newcomer. He narrows his eyes suspiciously, thinking it's just another angel trying to bother him, but quickly realizes how wrong he is.

The stranger, a man with short, light blond hair and pale, icy blue eyes, throws a smile Dean's way. "What's the matter? Don't recognize me?" he asks simply, an act that both confuses and angers Dean.

Dean curls his lips in a sneer. "Oh, I recognize you. It's hard not to when the taint inside of me wants to roll over and call you 'Daddy,'" he snaps, his body stiff with tension and hostility as he tries to exit the Impala, tries to put some more space between him and Lucifer. But the door is locked and won't budge no matter how much he pushes against it.

Lucifer raises a brow at Dean's actions and looks like the scientist observing abnormal behavior in one of his lab rats. "Dean, what are you doing? You aren't actually trying to escape, are you?" the archangel asks curiously, but reaches out and pulls Dean back to sit properly in his seat.

Dean hisses and struggles against Lucifer's pull, but the archangel's stronger than he is and his efforts are wasted in the end. But he at least manages to stop Lucifer from buckling him into his seat like some kind of child.

Lucifer looks at Dean quietly after the whole seatbelt incident, but he smiles again and ducks his head, shaking it like a disappointed parent. "Dean, Dean, Dean. Why do you fight _so hard_ against your true nature?" the Devil questions again, but this time his voice is laced with sympathy and warmth. It's a mixture that makes Dean's skin crawl.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Dean vehemently denies and can't help but flinch when Lucifer reaches out to touch him again.

The Devil chuckles softly when Dean flinches, amused that the too human demon is possibly afraid of him. Or at least smart enough to be wary of him. "I can sense him, you know? That little part of you that used to be Azazel, that still _is_ Azazel. He looks at me like you looked at your father," Lucifer finishes with a lop sided smile and forcefully grabs hold of Dean's chin, holding him there so that he can't look away.

Dean snarls viciously as he watches Lucifer change form so that he appears as his father, as John Winchester. "You son of a bitch!" he spits furiously, expression full of wrath and pain because it feels wrong seeing his dead father being worn by Satan.

"You're starting to bleed together, Dean. Just a little push and Azazel will be wearing you," Lucifer whispers quietly in John's voice and runs his free hand through Dean's hair in a mockery of affection. He watches Dean close his eyes in an attempt to escape from what he must have felt was torture, only for them to snap open again and glow a brighter yellow than ever before. More yellow than Azazel's eyes ever were. The color even blankets the whites of Dean's eyes.

"You will come to me, Dean. Not now, but _soon_. And you will be pretending to be the big hero. The demon who will risk _everything_ to save the world. But you will hand deliver my vessel, _hand deliver Sam_, to me, like the _good son _that you are," Lucifer speaks in John's voice, proud and sure of himself and the future that he sees for Dean. He slowly releases Dean from his hold and the demon steadily comes back to his senses, the yellow fading until there's nothing but humanly green eyes.

Dean's disoriented for a moment, but he blinks and his vision clears little by little until he's snarling at Lucifer again. "Fuck you, you oversized cockroach. I'll never hand Sammy over to you," he grinds out and fixes the angriest, most hate-filled glare he can muster on the Devil.

Lucifer tilts his head and is wearing a curious expression again, but then he snorts softly and smiles. "We'll see about that, Dean," he chuckles and changes back to his original form, the form of his vessel.

When Dean blinks again, Lucifer has disappeared.

* * *

><p><strong>Location: On the Road.<strong>

The demon's consciousness explodes into awareness as he throws himself out of the Impala and heaves what's left of his dinner onto the gravel covered ground.

The nightmare, or whatever the hell it was, was real. Dean knows it is because the taint inside of him is still purring, still rolling over in contentment at feeling its Creator's presence. And Dean is horrified that he was almost taken over by that, that remnant of Azazel. Horrified that he almost considered giving Sam to Lucifer.

* * *

><p>Dean sits on the hood of the Impala for a long time. Sits there, staring into the distance until the Sun begins to rise in the east and he hears his stomach rumble with hunger. And by that time, when he finally moves and gets back into the driver's seat, Dean understands that he's truly in a fucked up position in this whole Apocalypse plot.<p>

But Dean just turns his speakers up a little too loud and starts the Impala's engine, listening to her purr over the music before he starts driving and doesn't stop.

* * *

><p><strong>Location: Kansas City, Missouri - Century Hotel - Room 113.<strong>

Dean closes the curtains on his room as he talks to Castiel and though he was in a bad mood when he arrived at the hotel, Castiel just somehow always manages to make him smile without even trying.

"Dude, you know how funny it is talking to an angel on a cell phone?" Dean chuckles and shakes his head as he takes a seat on his bed.

"Dean, this isn't funny. The voice says I'm almost out of minutes," Castiel's exasperation comes in crystal clear through the line and Dean's just wearing a shit eating grin.

"Alright. Alright. What do you want to talk about, Cas?" the demon asks as he kicks off his shoes and falls back onto his bed.

"We need to discuss this in person, Dean. But I can not locate you," the angel replies and Dean can almost imagine the kicked puppy look Castiel must be wearing right now.

"Uh, right. I'm in Kansas City, Missouri. Century Hotel, Room 113," the demon supplies after forcing himself to sit up again so that he can grab his room keys.

"I'll be right there," Castiel states, but pauses when he hears Dean's voice telling him to wait.

"Cas, I'm sure whatever you need to say can wait until the morning. I'm tired and I just want some sleep right now, alright?" Dean groans and abruptly hangs up on Castiel, not even letting his angel get a word in edge-wise.

Dean knows that he should have told Castiel about what had happened after he had left. He knows he should have, but he just can't. Castiel has enough on his plate to worry about and Dean doesn't want to pile on anymore.

* * *

><p>It's several hours later when Dean, lying very much awake in bed, gets a call from Sam. It's four in the morning and he's still tired as hell, but he listens for Sam's sake.<p>

Dean's feeling numb and doesn't even flinch when Sam mentions being Lucifer's vessel because that's old news to him, he just doesn't tell his brother that.

When Sam starts talking about hunting, together, again, Dean's really tired. He's completely adverse to the idea and shuts it down before Sam can really tell him what's going on. All he hears is talks of redemption and shutting down the Apocalypse anyways.

Before he hangs up, Dean advises Sam to just stay away from him and that, when they're apart, they'll have a better chance at surviving, because when they're together, they're at their weakest and most vulnerable and everything that wants to hunt them down knows that.

After that, Dean falls asleep and his rest is dreamless and full of nothingness.

* * *

><p>Dean wakes up to an intense silence that is overwhelming and a dull ache in his back. He rises from his bed and looks around him, confused and wondering what the hell happened because this looks like the room he fell asleep in, but at the same time it's a completely different place. It's moldy and cold and just a little more than run down.<p>

When he looks out the window, Dean finds Kansas City to be in about the same condition, if not worse, as his room.

The city looks like a war zone and there are abandoned cars everywhere. Everything looks abandoned and feels abandoned. And looking up at the gray skies, he feels that the whole world might have just been forsaken too.

Dean licks his lips nervously and quickly considers his options now that he's found himself in what appears to be a post-Apocalyptic wasteland. And in this new setting, he decides his first order of business is to get the fuck out of town.

Unfortunately, when he tries to zap himself out, he goes no farther than the street that was in front of his room. Dean takes this as a bad sign, a very bad sign, and cautiously begins to explore the town.

It doesn't take long for Dean to discover that there are people infected with the Croatoan virus and that they're hungry.

Dean finds himself in an alleyway with a fairly large group of infected staring him down like tonight's dinner. He doesn't intend to play that role and quickly makes a run for it.

He barely manages to duck into another alleyway when he sees an armored vehicle full of US Army soldiers roll up on the other side of a fence and start firing at him _and_ the infected people. Dean curses his horrible luck and waits out the battle until nightfall a couple hours later and everything is quiet again.

* * *

><p><strong>Location: On the Road.<strong>

Dean barely manages to sneak out of the apparently condemned and closed off city and hotwire a car before he's getting an unwanted visit from Zachariah. Though the angel in his passenger seat seems more interested in reading his newspaper out loud than zapping him elsewhere at the moment.

"How did you find me?" Dean grinds out, but is unwilling to stop the car because he knows he has a long drive ahead of him to get to Bobby's House, or what's left of it.

Zachariah frowns as he hears this question, like he's been forced to eat one too many lemons. "We've had to resort to…unconventional methods to track you down, Dean. Human informants," the angel admits, his voice laced with his disgust at being forced to use humans as his watchdogs.

Dean snorts softly at Zachariah's bitter tone, but he's not surprised that they've been reduced to this. "So, the religious nut outside the hotel ratted me out, huh? Should have known you'd use the bible thumpers," the demon snidely remarks, but his expression is light and his tone is heavy with an extra helping of sarcasm. "So what's the lesson you want to teach me this time, oh Jedi master?"

"We feel that you might be headed down the wrong path," Zachariah replies with a snap of his newspaper.

Dean looks at the balding angel incredulously, but he shakes his head and looks away again, his expression settling on feigned ignorance with a smirk. "I'm just following my own path," he counters and, out of the corner of his eyes, he can see Zachariah giving him a disapproving frown.

"Our point exactly. That's why we're leaving you in this Croatoan infested future for _three days_. We want you to see the consequences of your decision," the angel supplies as he folds up his newspaper.

"No. No no no. You're going to zap me back to my time right now, you son of a bitch. I am not staying here!" Dean shouts, his anger bleeding into his voice as he watches Zachariah vanish.

The demon curses and slams a fist into the steering wheel.

* * *

><p><strong>Location: Camp Chitaqua.<strong>

After digging up clues to where he should head next at Bobby's long abandoned home, Dean finds himself at Camp Chitaqua and is sneaking into the compound through a hole in the fence.

But, instead of heading to any of the buildings to gather some information for himself, the demon makes a beeline for the abandoned remains of the Impala.

Dean walks right up to his baby under the cover of darkness and looks at her obviously uncared for and weather beaten remains. She barely resembles the car he drove back in 2009.

"Oh baby, what have they done to you?" he laments, running a gentle hand over her rusted and beat up hood.

A rustling of grass to the side catches Dean's attention, but when he turns, he's surprised to see an older version of himself glaring down at him with cold, hard eyes.

This version of himself, it seems, is not adverse to beating his head in against the hood of the Impala until he's unconscious.


	19. The End Part 2

Never the Same

Part 19

Notes: Yes, this took me a while, but be thankful it's a long one. *tilts head*

Oh and I'll be gone for the weekend so that will definitely put some delay on my chapter progress. I'm sorry.

I wish you all a Happy Fourth of July too. Not that I'm super patriotic, I just like history and fireworks~

* * *

><p><strong>Location: Camp Chitaqua - Dean's Cabin.<strong>

Dean wakes up to the feeling of dried blood caked on his skin, particularly his face, and an iron hand cuff around one of his wrists. He knows that pulling on the chain won't help him, but he does it anyways and manages an almost breathless groan as he realizes he's attached to something.

The demon finally opens his eyes and blinks experimentally, making sure he can still see before he looks at his bound wrist. His eyes follow the relatively long chain back to a ladder that he just so happens to be resting against.

But the rattling of his cuffs do not go unnoticed and Dean snaps his head in the direction he hears a harsh cough come from. He narrows his eyes slightly on what he assumes is the future version of himself, still very much glaring at him.

"What the hell are you looking at, you stupid bastard?" Future!Dean bites out nastily and almost snarls at his past self. There's no denying the odd, disjointed connection he feels with this alternate version of himself. And no matter how much he tries to convince himself that the man in front of him is just a shapeshifter, that damned connection tugs at him and he just knows that it is himself from a not too distant past. And the fact that shapeshifters, among other monsters, have been pretty scarce since the Apocalypse went into full swing.

Dean actually does snarl at his future self for calling him a bastard. He's never been one to take insults lightly after all.

"Blow me, you yellow eyed freak," Dean snaps and pulls at his restraint to have a go at the other man, but just ends up burning his skin for his efforts.

Future!Dean arches a brow at his past self and almost shakes his head mournfully, remembering how stupid he was back then. Or at least, that's what he's telling himself, because he knows Castiel, his Castiel in 2014, will argue until he's blue in the face that he's as stupid as ever.

"Takes one to know one, doesn't it?" Future!Dean replies and lets his eyes flash to their unnatural marble yellow color, but to Dean's horror, the color covers the entirety of his eyes. There's no white off to the sides or green peeking through. They're absolutely, totally and completely, yellow. And it freaks Dean out.

The older of the two Deans blinks his eyes back to their original green and sighs heavily. "I ran the drill you while you were out," he states casually and picks up a shotgun that he has resting on the table he's using as his seat. "But I suppose that was a waste of time, considering you're me, right? Now, that just leaves the question of when the hell you're from."

Dean tenses at the sight of the shotgun his future self picks up, but slowly relaxes once it's been set down again. "I'm from the tail end of 2009," he grinds out, keeping a wary eye on the other demon, "Zachariah zapped me five years into the future to 'show me the consequences of my decisions.'" The last words are spat out like venom, a curse on the angel who put him in this predicament.

Future!Dean narrows his eyes dangerously at the all too familiar name of Zachariah, but his expression shifts and becomes one of mild amusement. "I ganked that balding chicken back in 2011," he snorts softly, as if remembering a fond memory, but his exterior suddenly hardens again and Future!Dean is looking to Dean with cold, hate-filled eyes.

"I'm going to assume Zachariah dumped you here to learn why you should say 'yes' to Michael," Future!Dean grunts and slides off his table with a pistol in his hand as he walks up to his past self. He takes a squat in front of the demon he has cuffed to the ladder and looks him right in the eye.

"You're going to see Hell on Earth and it's going to be worse than when you were down in the Pit, Dean," Future!Dean warns and raises the pistol, pointing it right between his past self's eyes, watching with a twisted satisfaction as fear creeps into the familiar green pools. "You're going to wish that I had I put this iron bullet into your skull so that you wouldn't have to see the shit hole the world turns into in 2012."

Dean's staring cross-eyed at the barrel of the gun that's resting against the bridge of his nose before it's suddenly pulled away and he visibly relaxes. He allows the relief to flood his system for a moment longer than necessary before he's growling viciously at his future self again.

"What about Sam? Where's Sammy?" Dean asks, yells, almost pleads because he's desperate to know.

Future!Dean is eerily still for a moment after the question comes out, but he stands and backs away from himself, going back to check on his weapons.

Dean almost thinks he's not going to get an answer and feels pitch black despair curl in his gut when he hears his future self talking again.

"Haven't seen him since Detroit five years ago," Future!Dean admits as he loads his shotgun. "Big showdown with Lucifer. Sam didn't come out." He finishes with a cocking of his shotgun and looks down at his past self, seeing the distress written all across his body and face. He can tell that it's physically hurting himself to find out that Sam's gone. He knows and remembers the feeling all too well.

Dean's reeling at the information, but he clings desperately to the hope that Sammy's alive. That he's out there. He foolishly wants to believe that because that's just what Winchesters do.

"Did you ever try looking for him?" he asks almost hopefully, but the sound is too broken to be anything near hope.

Future!Dean throws his shotgun into his duffel carelessly and throws the bag over his shoulder. "There was no reason to look. Detroit and the rest of Michigan were destroyed in a huge blast," he growls out bitterly and is heading for the door.

Dean panics as he watches his future self walk away. "Hey! Hey, you can't just leave me here like this," he calls out and narrows his eyes angrily when he gets a rough laugh that sounds nothing like his own from the other Dean.

"I don't think the twitchy Apocalypse survivors out there will be able to handle you," Future!Dean sneers, but comes back into the cabin and tosses a rag and water bottle to Dean as an afterthought. "You can clean yourself up if you want, but I don't trust you enough to let you loose. I'll be back after I run some errands and if I'm feeling generous I might give you a grand tour. But, until then, stay put or I swear I will tear you a new one."

After that, Future!Dean is out the door and off only he knows where, leaving Dean by himself.

"I am such a dick," Dean snorts softly to himself and takes a look around to see if there's anything he can use to pick the lock.

* * *

><p><strong>Location: Camp Chitaqua - Castiel's Cabin.<strong>

Dean finds himself uncomfortable once he finally gets out of the cuffs and out into the camp. It's weird seeing so many people working like drones. And Chuck, it's weird seeing him sober and collected, but still twitchy as a squirrel.

The overall atmosphere of the camp is like a graveyard, like people just waiting to die and it makes Dean's skin crawl.

So when he's directed to Castiel's cabin, he's happy to take refuge behind the wooden walls. But what he sees inside the cabin probably makes him even more uneasy.

"Cas?" Dean calls out hesitantly as he steps through the bead curtains and gets a look at Castiel.

The angel, even scruffier than he was in 2009, is wearing a gray, long sleeved canvas tee with a pair of dark gray pants and sandals. It's so different from his Castiel, that Dean just needs a moment to let it register in his brain that this Castiel is very, very different from his own.

Future!Castiel makes a soft humming noise as he stops reading what appears to be a journal and turns to face Dean. "What can I do to help you, oh fearless-" he starts with a sarcastic edge to his tone, but stops and narrows his eyes curiously as he looks at Dean. When he's had enough of just staring, the angel smiles wryly. "Whoa. You're not you. Or well, not 2014 you."

"Uh, yeah, about that," Dean mumbles, walking further into the cabin and taking in all the Buddhist decorations and candles. It feels calm in the single room cabin, but at the same time the air is heavy with the scent of incense, booze, drugs and something that smells suspiciously like sex. A lot of sex.

"Zachariah zapped me here from 2009," the demon informs Future!Castiel, but finds it hard to keep looking at him because he can see all the differences and feel the difference in power between them. Where his Castiel's true power had at one point been overwhelming to him, this Castiel feels as weak and powerless as a human.

Future!Castiel nods as he listens, but a distant look is in his eyes and Dean can tell that he's thinking. "Hmm. I'm sorry I can't help you. I've been…without my wings since the Host pulled out," he admits almost bitterly with a crooked smile twisting his lips.

Dean takes half a step back as he learns that the angels had abandoned Earth. "You've got to be kidding me. Those dicks just left all these people here to die?" he seethes and wants to rage that they abandoned Castiel as well, but he keeps that to himself.

Future!Castiel replies in the form of a firm nod and puts on a bitter smile, the pain of being abandoned showing clearly in his hazy blue eyes.

Silently, and without thinking, Future!Castiel and Dean approach one another, the motions almost automatic as they meet half way. One moves closer to soothe while the other is there simply out of curiosity and a desire to relive old memories, moments long since covered in dust. But they can both feel a connection being rekindled between them.

"You haven't _touched _me in a long time, Dean. Barely even look at me anymore," Future!Castiel murmurs sadly and leans into the warm touch of Dean's hand cupping his cheek. He lays his hand over the demon's in a reassuring gesture when he feels that the other might just pull away, not wanting this fragile, almost insignificant, connection to be broken.

Dean's expression falls as he recognizes Castiel's desire to be touched isn't just a desire cooked up by his own brain. There's something else in him that's egging this on too. Like when Sammy had been playful and deliriously happy after he'd been drugged up in the mental hospital and Dean was forced to break him out after killing the wraith himself.

"Cas, are you high?" the demon asks cautiously and finds that it's his turn to grab onto Future!Castiel's shoulder when the formerly angelic being begins to pull away.

"Generally, yes. And about waist deep in orgies," Future!Castiel admits, his tone grave at first, but it quickly degenerates into amusement and chuckles.

Dean wrinkles his nose at the thought of Castiel organizing orgies.

"Future me really is a dick, isn't he?" the demon chuckles softly, but stops at the tired look Future!Castiel gives him.

"He really is," the former angel whispers and leans forward to kiss Dean.

The kiss is full of desperation and raw, painful want that sears Dean right down to his bones. He returns it feverishly and buries a hand in Future!Castiel's hair as he wraps his other arm around the former angel's waist and pulls him flush against his body.

Future!Castiel allows Dean to pull him closer and makes a soft keening sound as he digs his fingers into Dean's back and shoulder blades. He's crushing his lips against the demon's in his desire to feel some semblance of the profound bond he once had with his own Dean.

And suddenly, the moment is over. Dean pulls away from Future!Castiel like he's been burned and lowers his gaze guiltily.

"I'm sorry, Cas. I just can't-" Dean starts and he's miserable because he feels bad for just leaving Future!Castiel hanging like that, but the angel is smiling warmly, sweetly and oh so sadly, like he understands.

"It's alright, Dean. You're just thinking about your own Castiel," the former angel speaks up with a kind voice. "When you get back to your time, you should consider binding your soul to his grace."

Dean looks up in shock as he hears Future!Castiel mention binding souls, feeling apprehensive, but not at all wary.

"Sorry if I'm a little slow, but, what would that do?" the demon asks and is actually shocked when he sees Future!Castiel's face light up with a smile, like the guy's happy he's even thinking about this soul binding thing.

Future!Castiel makes an aborted hand gesture that looks vaguely like a shooing motion. "Think of it as a marriage, but a lot more permanent. I imagine it would help you with your Lucifer problem and help him ease the pain of his fall from grace," he mutters and is walking towards the bead curtains as he hears the rumble of a jeep outside.

The demon frowns faintly at the information that Future!Castiel has given him, but the idea isn't bad to him or anything. He's just not sure either of them are ready for that kind of commitment. Just thinking about the word has cold sweat breaking out across the back of Dean's neck.

But then his mind comes to a screeching halt as the rest of Future!Castiel's words ram into his brain. The realization that this Castiel knows he's being haunted and tempted by Lucifer terrifies him like nothing else.

"I'll think about it," the demon sighs heavily and finally joins Future!Castiel at the doorway, watching numbly as his future self murders a Croatoan infected human in cold blood.

* * *

><p><strong>Location: Camp Chitaqua - Mess Hall. Later That Night.<strong>

Dean and Future!Castiel are the last ones left in the mess hall after the Colt and mission briefing. Even Future!Dean has gone off to prepare for the mission that will be beginning at midnight, leaving his past self and former lover behind.

"You realize this is a suicide mission, don't you? That he's using you and the others as bait? " Dean asks his companion and is sad to see the content expression resting on Future!Castiel's face where there had been frustration and anger before.

"It's obvious that that is his intention. But, there's no reason for me to question our fearless leader," Future!Castiel speaks softly and reaches into his pocket to fish out an orange medication bottle and pop a few pills into his mouth.

"Want some?" he offers, but Dean shakes his head in refusal and Future!Castiel takes a few more for himself.

Silence falls over the room and fills it with a thick atmosphere that leaves Dean feeling uncomfortable in his own skin.

Dean licks his lips nervously, trying to think of something to say, but nothing comes to mind immediately.

"You know, he said 'no' to Michael," Future!Castiel suddenly speaks up again and Dean's grateful for the break in silence.

"Yeah, I think it's kind of obvious from how everything has gone down hill around here," Dean replies and takes a seat at the table, across from Future!Castiel.

"And Sam said 'yes' to Lucifer in Detroit," Future!Castiel adds, watching the shock and disbelief appear on Dean's face with some distant fascination. But the former angel's fascination increases as he watches the demon's expression fall back to something like calm, like he already knew that was the case.

"After seeing all of this, would you change your mind?" Future!Castiel prods, fixing tired blue eyes on the demon in front of him.

Dean looks up with confident green eyes and an unwavering smile. "No," he states the single word casually, bitterness laced into his tone, but there is conviction in that lone word and it makes Future!Castiel smile too, even if it is a bit wry.

"I knew I liked past you better," the angel chuckles and forces himself to rise from his seat and head towards the exit.

"You should get ready. Future you is pretty anal about timing," Future!Castiel states calmly, trying his best to hide an amused smile as he disappears into the darkness.

* * *

><p><strong>Location: Lucifer's Garden. The Next Day.<strong>

Future!Dean forces Dean to follow him around back to their destination while Future!Castiel leads the others through the front and into the Crote infested death trap.

Honestly, Dean hates his future self for doing this to Castiel. For throwing him into the meat grinder with those humans like he doesn't mean anything to him anymore. And what pisses him off the most is that he can't see even the tiniest bit of remorse in Future!Dean's pitch black demon smoke.

Thunder and gunfire are already echoing in the air and have been for a while by the time the two Deans reach their destination. A garden that looks like a jacked up version of Eden with Sam in a white suit standing in the middle of it all.

Sam turns to look at the two Deans and offers them an amused, but curious smile, an expression that doesn't belong to Sam, but to Lucifer.

"Hello, Dean and…Dean. I wasn't expecting two of you," Lucifer greets them calmly and doesn't even flinch when Future!Dean walks towards him, drawing the Colt from the back of his jeans.

Dean's expecting Future!Dean to just draw the Colt and shoot Lucifer right between the eyes. In fact, he's prepared to watch Sam die. But that doesn't happen and what happens instead scares the living hell out of him.

Future!Dean smiles casually as he walks up to Lucifer and hands the Colt to him. "Took me a while, but I finally got a hold of it," the demon purrs, his eyes glowing with a corrupted yellow light.

"You've done well, Dean," Lucifer praises Future!Dean and pets the demon's head like he's some kind of dog.

"You've done well," Lucifer murmurs, his voice dropping an octave as he raises the Colt and presses it against Future!Dean's chest, right over his heart.

"Father?" Future!Dean questions with wide eyes as lightning strikes and thunder rumbles, distorting the sound of the Colt as it fires a bullet right into the demon's heart.

Dean watches with disbelief as his future self crumples to the ground, dead. But his attention soon enough falls back to Lucifer and the legendary gun the Devil is holding in loose fingers.

"Why did you-he was working-why did you have to kill him?" Dean stutters and grinds out angrily, upset and confused and most of all hurt by the events that have transpired.

Lucifer blinks slowly and raises a brow at Dean's question. "He's done his part and outlived his usefulness," the fallen archangel replies coolly and drops the Colt carelessly to the ground. "Just like that twisted piece of metal, the Colt."

"Did you know it can't kill me, Dean?" Lucifer questions the demon who's standing stock still and glaring at him with hate-filled eyes.

"You're lying," Dean snarls, not wanting to believe a word that comes out of the Devil's mouth.

"I'm not," Lucifer states matter-of-factly, but then licks his lip lightly in an almost too human gesture and looks away from Dean. His gaze is now on the dark gray skies. "But you won't believe me. So continue your search if you want when you get back to your time. Just know that it will be a wasted effort in the end."

Dean balls his hands into fists and clenches his jaw tight, trying to rein back his anger and keep a cool head. But it's nearly impossible with his own murdered corpse lying in front of him and Lucifer wearing Sam's meat suit talking down to him like a child.

Lucifer sees the tension in the demon standing in front of him and lifts a corner of his lips up into a half hearted smile. The Devil walks up to Dean, attempting to rest a hand on Dean's shoulder, to offer him some form of solace, but the demon is quick to pull away from the touch. He's not surprised by this, but he is amused and his amusement shows in Sam's green eyes, glowing with power and evil.

"You should kill me now," Dean snarls, squaring his shoulders as he looks up at Lucifer, ready to fight to the death if he needs to.

"Pardon?" the devil in white asks and takes a step back to get a better look at the demon that's captured his fascination since their meeting back in 2009.

"I won't give up. I'll find a way to kill you. So you better kill me now to save your own sorry ass," he hisses bitterly, determination burning bright behind his humanly green eyes.

Lucifer's expression falls to one of sorrow and heartache for Dean. He feels pity for him and his conflicted nature.

"I know you will, Dean. You will refuse Michael and you will be unable to kill Sam. And whatever you do, whatever choices you make, whatever details you alter. You will always end up back here, by my side like the good son you are. And I will win. I will always win," Lucifer whispers softly to Dean and is right in front of him again, bowing his head ever so slightly so that he can rest his forehead against Dean's.

Dean's repulsed by the feel of Lucifer against his skin, but he can't pull away. His body won't allow him to move and neither will Lucifer's iron grip on the back of his neck.

"You're lying," Dean bites out, feeling tears well up in his eyes even though he's trying so hard to hold them back.

Lucifer finally pulls away from Dean after a few moments of contact and smiles sadly. "I'll see you in five years, Dean," he speaks the words quietly and quickly departs with the flashing of lightning and boom of thunder, as if he had never been in the garden in the first place.

When Dean turns to leave, he's face to face with Zachariah. But before he can get a word in, the angel's pressing fingers to his forehead.

* * *

><p><strong>Location: Kansas City, Missouri - Century Hotel - Room 113. Tail End Of 2009.<strong>

Dean jolts slightly when he finds himself back in his hotel room again, but quickly recognizes it as his own time and relaxes. The relief is short lived however when he remembers the presence of Zachariah in his room.

Zachariah watches with a mixture of amusement and pity as Dean's eyes harden and glare at him. "Enough, Dean. You've seen what happens. What the world will become if you continue to refuse Michael. You're the only one who can prove Lucifer wrong," the angel lectures in a gentle voice, but Dean's not buying it.

"You showed me all of that crap, just to get me to say 'yes,'" Dean states with bitter sorrow clear in his voice.

"Yes. We wanted you to understand, that if you say 'yes' to Michael, we can stop this before it starts. We can strike Lucifer first, before he gets to Sam," Zachariah tries to reason with the demon. He thinks he just needs one more push, so he goes for it. "You can save billions of lives before they're lost, Dean."

Dean clenches his jaw tight and tilts his head as his lips form a harsh line.

"Nah. You can shove your lesson up your ass, Zachariah. I'm not buying it," Dean chuckles dryly as he walks passed Zachariah.

Zachariah looks at Dean incredulously, his eyes wide with disbelief as the demon dares reject his attempts to persuade him. "Do I have you teach you your lesson again, Dean?" he snarls, dropping his calm as he makes to grab for Dean, only to find him gone.

* * *

><p><strong>Location: Side of the Road. Dawn.<strong>

Dean's shocked to find himself outside under a streetlight on the side of some road.

"We had an appointment, Dean," Castiel's voice speaks up from behind the demon.

Dean whirls around to face Castiel and stares at the scruffy angel still wearing a suit and trench coat that are just a couple sizes too big. Real relief floods Dean's system and he grabs Castiel's shoulders, pulling him in for a brief, but searing kiss.

"Don't ever change, Cas. Don't you ever change," Dean chuckles softly as he pulls away from the kiss and looks into his angel's dark blue eyes, loving the amusement and playfulness that he sees in them.

"Of course," Castiel replies easily, but pauses as he sees Dean shift his stance a little, revealing to the angel that he's nervous.

"Is there something you wish to discuss?" he asks gently and frowns as Dean becomes even more nervous.

Dean looks away as he licks his suddenly dry lips. He swallows nervously and avoids Castiel's gaze as long as possible before his angel is forcing him to look him in the eyes again.

"Dean, is everything alright?" the angel questions again, his gravelly voice taking a more serious tone as he begins to worry about the demon.

"Yeah. Everything's peachy keen, Cas. Just…future you mentioned something about…soul binding," Dean forces the words out of his throat, but can't help the blush that spreads over his freckled cheeks once they're out in the open.

Castiel pauses and blinks at Dean's words, shock and anxious excitement swirling behind his eyes at the same time. "I have heard of soul binding before. It will bind my grace and your soul together as mates. Like two halves of a whole," he supplies helpfully, but is confused when he feels his cheeks heat up with embarrassment.

Dean smiles faintly at the blush that appears on Castiel's face.

"Do you, y'know, want to get hitched?" the demon asks, feeling a little more confident and comfortable with his angel.

Castiel's blush darkens and he looks to Dean like a deer caught in headlights with wide, uncertain eyes. "I…I am not certain," he admits sadly and bows his head in shame. But he's looking up again when he feels Dean's lips pressing against his forehead.

"Yeah, I guess we're not really ready for that yet," Dean murmurs against Castiel's skin and pulls away as he whips out his cell phone.

The angel is a little disappointed that Dean has pulled away, but he quickly recovers and is watching the demon curiously again.

"What are you planning?" Castiel asks curiously, noticing a wry smile on Dean's lips.

"Something I should have done sooner," Dean replies and begins to dial Sam's number.


	20. I Believe The Children Are Our Future

Never the Same

Part 20

Note: Alrighty. Re-posting this. It's edited(for the most part) and has been re-written.

* * *

><p><strong>Location: Alliance, Nebraska.<strong>

Dean isn't exactly excited to be in this small town out in the middle of nowhere, but something in the air has his heart beating fast and feeling like he's found something really important. He just isn't sure what it is that he's found.

All they have seen since coming to Alliance is childish myths gone wrong. None of them were even that funny in Dean's opinion. Well, except for the guy who got his face frozen. That was just a little funny. But Sam just rolls his eyes and walks away like a diva when Dean points this out.

At least they've come to the conclusion that whatever is going on in the town is being caused by a being that can re-shape reality and has the humor of a nine year old, or, in Sam's words, Dean's sense of humor.

"Dean! Would you stop eating the ham already?" Sam reprimands his brother, slapping the man's hand away from the meat product they had just cooked thoroughly with a joy buzzer only a few hours ago. The ham is already half way gone and Sam is honestly sick to his stomach from just watching the demon eat that much meat.

Dean scowls as his hand is slapped away from the delicious ham and attempts to grab another piece only for his hand to be slapped again.

"Oh come on! We don't have a fridge, Sam. If I don't eat it, it will just go to waste," the demon protests and manages to snatch the ham and walk away with it before Sam can start bitching at him again.

Sam puts on his bitch face even though Dean's not looking at him, and, knowing his brother, he knows Dean can sense it. But he eventually concedes and allows Dean to continue eating while he lays out a map containing all the places that have been hit with these weird myths come to life.

Dean takes a look at the map and notices that their motel is within the area effected by these strange happenings. The demon can't help but grin smugly and chuckle a little.

"Why are you laughing?" Sam questions with a frown, but furrows his brows just a little more when he notices that Dean's rubbing at his eyes and blinking a lot.

"You didn't," the younger of the Winchesters sighs, exasperated with his brother and disgusted as well.

Dean continues to chuckle despite his failing vision, though the fact that he can't really see does suck a lot. "Hey, I got bored. And I like to think of Cas when I get bored," the demon rebuffs and can just imagine Sam's face settling on an especially epic bitch face. He's a little sad that he can't see it though.

"Dude, that's just…that's just sick. Don't tell me about that," Sam whines and shoves Dean out the door, deciding that he's going to have to be his brother's guardian until they clear things up.

* * *

><p><strong>Location: The Impala. Later That Day.<strong>

After having a nice little chat with Jesse Turner, Sam's taken the wheel of the Impala, since Dean is officially blind and can't see anything other than pitch black darkness. He's also forced Dean to wear a pair of dark sunglasses to hide the fact that he can not see from whatever may be out there.

Sam, however, is surprised that Dean is able to move about so well without his help and able to convince the kid that some of the myths he believed aren't real. Though they aren't able to explain the myths about masturbation since Jesse is still a kid and it would just be weird to have that talk.

Fear finally settles into the demon's gut like a heavy rock. He's actually worried that this might become permanent, which is something he really doesn't want because that'd mean he'd never be able to see Castiel's face again. At this thought, Dean begins to mumble curses about stupid reality altering brats who won't let him have his fun without consequences.

"Dean," Castiel's voice suddenly speaks up from the back seat and the demon sitting in shotgun jumps a little, shocked by the surprise arrival.

"Hey, Cas," Dean tries to greet Castiel casually, though it's obvious to the angel that he's trying to hide something.

"Dean, is something wrong?" Castiel presses, resting a hand on Dean's shoulder and squeezing it tightly because he thinks that it might help Dean talk more easily. Dean always does this when he has trouble speaking, at least.

Dean shifts in his seat and turns to look back at Castiel, putting on a carefree smile to try and throw the angel off his trail. "Nah. Just working on another case," he smoothly replies, but turns his head as he hears Sam tighten his grip on the steering wheel.

"Then why are you wearing those sunglasses? I have never seen you wearing them before," the angel prods. Castiel narrows his eyes suspiciously and turns his gaze on Sam, believing that he might get a straight answer from him.

Sam squares his shoulders and straightens his back as he feels the twin stares from the supernatural creatures accompanying him. But with so much pressure weighing him down, Sam quickly caves under Castiel's eerie stare and blurts out, "Dean's blind."

"Damn it, Sam," Dean curses under his breath, but curses out loud when he's pulled into the backseat by the back of his collar. It leaves him in an awkward position with his legs in the air and his head somewhere near Castiel's crotch if the feeling of warmth on the back of his head is anything to go by.

Castiel actually hisses when Dean tries to move away and holds the demon in place forcefully. "You should have told me, Dean," the angel grinds out and Dean freezes momentarily at the tone of anger, pain and betrayal in Castiel's voice.

"Cas," Dean breathes out softly, hesitantly, and when he doesn't receive a negative response he continues cautiously, "You don't have the juice to fix this. Besides, me and Sam got this covered and I can move around just fine without my eyes." After he finishes speaking, the demon waits for a response from his angel.

The angel frowns sadly and looks down at Dean with guilt filled eyes before he makes a quick departure and Dean falls back, twisting his neck at a weird angle without his makeshift pillow supporting him.

"I think you upset him," Sam remarks from the driver's seat and earns himself a well placed kick to the back of his head from Dean.

* * *

><p><strong>Location: Alliance, Nebraska - Dean and Sam's Motel Room. Later That Day.<strong>

They've just come back from talking to Julia Wright about her son, Jesse, and Dean is alone in the motel room, still mulling over the information. He knows without a doubt what the kid is, but he's not sure what to do with him. His humanity wants him to turn Jesse into a weapon that they can use to save people, while his demonic side wants him to turn Jesse over to Lucifer, so that the Devil can use him as a weapon to destroy the world.

Dean groans softly as he tries to decide, but he's noticed that making decisions isn't as easy as it used to be. In the past he would always side with what he thought was right and what his human self would have done, but now that he's been tainted and can feel that the yellow taint inside of him is growing, Dean finds himself drawn to the middle until it comes down to the wire and he must decide or die. And the worst part is, Dean can always hear Lucifer whispering in his ears, even if the bastard has no idea where he is. Always distracting him with temptations he doesn't want to accept but wants to accept at the same time.

A frustrated huff escapes Dean as he finally settles on sending the kid to Bobby. But in the next moment he's collecting himself and leaning over slightly, trying to make himself appear relaxed.

"If it makes you feel better, I was thinking of you when I was giving the Deanster some one on one time," Dean speaks up as he senses Castiel appear in the room. A crooked smile is on the demon's lips as he makes an attempt to look at his angel from where he's sitting on his bed, but the attempt is more or less a failure.

Castiel frowns faintly at Dean's pet name for his penis, but he later opts for smiling good naturedly and taking a seat beside his lover. "I still have not forgiven you for lying to me, Dean," the angel admits with a wry smile, but the expression is quickly wiped away and replaced with indifference when Sam returns to the room with a bag of fast food.

Sam looks at his brother and the angel sitting on the bed so casually with a confused expression and a silent prayer that he did not interrupt anything. But the tension is soon gone and he passes a food container to Dean before taking a seat at the table in the room.

The room falls into a sort of comfortable but tense silence as Castiel sits quietly and Sam stares at the angel while Dean sniffs at his food curiously.

Sam reluctantly decides that it is his job to break the silence after it begins to slowly chip away at his appetite.

"Cas, I think we've made a huge breakthrough in this case. That Jesse Turner kid we were investigating earlier, he's supposed to be some half demon, half human spawn. Dean says he's kind of the equivalent to the Antichrist though," Sam informs their friend and pokes at his salad lightly.

Across the room, Castiel visibly tenses and Dean has stopped wolfing down his pie and fries.

"Cas, you're not going after him," Dean grinds out, his tone stern as he sets his food aside and grabs hold of Castiel's invisible wings to keep the angel grounded.

Castiel turns on Dean and glares murderously at the demon, righteous fury and indignation burning bright behind his vessel's eyes. "That child is a Cambion, Dean! He can destroy the Host of Heaven with just a thought!" the angel screams at Dean and struggles to break away, his voice tinged with desperation and ancient fear, but the demon holds tight.

Dean's up before Castiel can get another word in and pushes him back down onto the bed, pinning him to the hard mattress. "Hold your horses, Cas! We're going to give Jesse a chance. Tell him about what's going on and let him make the right choice, you hear me?" the demon hisses, struggling to keep the angel beneath him.

"No!" Castiel cries out as his thrashing increases. "Sam wasn't able to make the right choice, even after everything we told him! I can't risk the Cambion destroying the Host! We must kill him now!" His words are becoming louder, laced with his true voice and angel grace that burns Dean.

At Castiel's words, Sam is left speechless and full of guilt. He casts his gaze to the ground, unable to watch his brother and the angel fight anymore as he broods over his past mistakes.

Despite the burning pain that lances up his arms and the blood running down his nose like a river after the back of Castiel's head slammed into his face, Dean holds on tight to Castiel. "You can get back at me later for doing this, Cas," he murmurs as he leans in close to his angel's ear and chants a few Enochian words that leave Castiel curling up on the bed, his face twisted in pure agony.

Sam looks up again in shock when he hears the little sounds of pain that Castiel's trying to muffle and sees Dean patting the angel's shoulder lightly. "Holy crap, Dean. What did you do to him? When did you learn Enochian?" he asks as he rises from his seat, fully intending to check on the angel, but his brother stops him.

"He'll be fine. But we need to move fast, Sam," Dean grinds out and it's hard for Sam to miss the slight redness around his brother's eyes, telling him that Dean's honestly upset but he's soldiering on for the good of the world.

Sam doesn't want to argue with Dean when he's like this, but he takes one last look at Castiel on the motel bed before he's out the door and headed towards the Impala.

* * *

><p><strong>Location: Alliance, Nebraska - Jesse Turner's House. Later That Night.<strong>

While Sam's been zapped upstairs by his demon brother, Dean knocks on the front door and gets Jesse to invite him inside.

"Hey, Jesse. How have you been, little man?" Dean greets with a friendly smile and follows the boy into his home.

"I've been alright, I guess," Jesse replies innocently as he takes a seat on the couch in his living room and watches Dean sit down next to him.

"That's good," Dean says light-heartedly, but his expression falls slightly and he's putting on a serious expression now. "Listen, Jesse. I'm here to talk to you about something really important."

Jesse looks up at the man nervously. "Maybe I should call my parents down. If it's important they'll want to hear about it too," he speaks with uncertainty in his voice, but he's shocked Dean with his level of maturity.

"This is something they can't know about," Sam speaks up as he's reached the bottom of the stairs. "Besides, they'll be out until morning." The last words are said with a tinge of regret in them, but Dean had said that it needed to be done and, if anything, Sam trusts his brother's decision.

"What? What did you do to them?" Jesse asks, anger and fear intertwining in his young voice.

"Whoa. Calm down, Jesse. We didn't hurt them. Promise. We just wanted to talk to you about your powers," Dean attempts to soothe the boy and sets a hand on Jesse's shoulder to anchor him.

"Powers? What powers?" the boy asks, his attention captured and fears set aside to be replaced by his curiosity.

"Well, you're a super hero. You can change things and do whatever you want, like Superman," the demon chuckles, glad that the kid's calmed down.

"But you're better than him," a woman's voice cuts in, catching Dean and Sam unaware as the brothers are thrown into the wall forcefully. "You're special, Jesse. But did you know that everything these people have been telling you is a lie? Even your parents have been lying to you. Do people lie to the ones they love?"

Dean struggles out of the demon's hold and growls angrily, using his own power to throw the offender across the room. He's across the space faster than the blink of an eye and pins Julia to the wall with a tight grip around her throat.

"Don't listen to her, Jesse. Sometimes people have to lie to protect the ones they love from pain," Dean bites out as gently as he can while keeping his hold on the assailant.

"But, have you been lying to me?" Jesse asks, betrayal clear in his voice. The child, however, isn't dumb or blind. He easily spots Dean's body tensing and knows that they have been lying to him.

"Of course they have, baby. These men are the Winchesters. They're bad, bad men who will do nothing but hurt you," the demon hisses out and clenches her fist, making Sam cough up blood. But Dean retaliates with a glare and Julia cringes, wrapping her arms around her midsection as wounds like claws tearing into prey appear across her stomach and blood stains her shirt.

"Stop fighting," the boy commands in a tone far too mature to be coming from a child and he clenches his fists, making the house tremble and the fireplace suddenly light up on its own. The power of his voice alone is enough to dispel both demon's holds and get them falling to their knees in front of Jesse.

"I want someone to tell me the truth," Jesse's commanding again and looks to the three visitors in his living room.

"Real showstopper, Jesse. I'm so proud of you. You're so much stronger than I thought you would be," the demon in Julia speaks, but Jesse turns his gaze on her, telling her to sit down and shut up before she's thrown into a chair and left voiceless.

Dean unconsciously winces at the sound of the other demon being handled so roughly, but he raises his head hesitantly. "Ok. We lied to you a little. You're not really a superhero. You're a kid who's half demon and half human and that woman over there is your real mother. But the thing that's inside her isn't," he admits and hesitantly sits back on the ground as he listens to Sam's footsteps approach from behind.

"What is inside her? What's inside you?" the boy continues to press, but it's obvious from the sound of his voice that he's becoming more and more distressed.

Dean's surprised that Jesse is able to sense that his soul and body are separate, but he has to give the kid some credit. He does, however, consider his words carefully for a moment and lick his lips nervously before he gives an answer. "We're both demons. But unlike her, I'm wearing my own body," he offers up the information easily, but is worried about the consequences of his actions.

"Are you going to hurt me?" Jesse questions, a frown and sorrow settling on his features.

"No. We would never do that, Jesse. We just wanted you to get training so that you could use your powers to help people. Because, you see, there's a war going on right now, between Angels and Demons. And the demons want to use you to hurt people. To hurt innocent people and their families," Sam explains in a soft voice, struggling to break the news as gently as he can to Jesse.

"Why are you telling this to me?" Jesse whimpers, tears gathering in his eyes and he's looking up at Sam pleadingly, wishing all of this was a lie even if he knows they're not lying to him.

Sam purses his lips tightly, but lets out a sigh and sets a hand on Jesse's shoulder in some vague attempt to comfort him. "Because I want you to know what's at stake and I want to believe that you can make the right choice, even if I couldn't," he speaks slowly, making sure that Jesse understands him before he slowly lets go of him.

Jesse processes the information slowly, still upset by the flood of information, but he slowly calms down and looks at Dean. "So, I'm half demon?" he asks hesitantly, but feels a little more confident when Dean smiles.

"You're also half human, Jesse, and, in my opinion, that's awesome. You have _choices_. You can do whatever you want to do and you can choose what you feel is right or wrong. But, you just have to know, _with great power, comes great responsibility_. Think you can remember that?" Dean's talking and his tone is as light hearted as it can be with a demon that obviously hates him sitting only a few feet away and the equivalent of a demonic howitzer standing about arm's length from him.

Jesse's silent again, but he nods slowly and fixes a cold gaze on the demon possessing Julia. "Leave," he commands the demon and watches as the black smoke filters out of her and up the chimney.

After the smoke is gone, Jesse walks up to Dean nervously and leans over him so that his lips are close to the demon's ear. "I don't want to be a part of this war," he whispers, the confession making his chest tighten a little.

"I know you don't, but as long as you're here, your parents won't be safe and more demons will come after you to hurt them," Dean sighs softly and rests a hand on Jesse's head, not messing up his hair, but just keeping it there to let the kid know he's here.

"Why aren't you hurting them?" Jesse asks quietly when he pulls away from Dean.

Dean drops his hand and can't help but grin at Jesse's question. "Because I'm the demon who rebelled and wants to save the world."

Sam snorts softly at Dean's choice of words. "Yeah, a high functioning blind demon," he speaks up sarcastically.

"You're blind?" Jesse asks curiously, honestly never having noticed before because it seemed like Dean could see perfectly fine, even if he did wait for him to lead him anywhere. He thought Dean was just being polite.

"It's a result of your power," Sam explains and quirks up a corner of his mouth when he sees Jesse's brows knit together in confusion and then realization.

"Eww," Jesse squeaks out and takes half a step back from Dean.

"I never said I was virtuous," Dean chuckles softly, though he's blushing and embarrassed by Sammy's betrayal.

"So, that myth isn't true either?" the boy asks and smiles wryly when he gets a shake of the head as a negative response.

"False as the joy buzzer shocking you and your face sticking if you hold it in place for too long," Sam clarifies and scowls as he catches a "geek" thrown out by his brother.

Dean blinks and removes his sunglasses as he feels his vision begin to return with an itching of his eyes and a strange tingling sensation in the back of them. "Whoo. Was afraid it was gone permanently for a second," he speaks up sarcastically and slowly rises to his feet.

"Alright. We got to get a move on before more demons come here. Go on upstairs and pack what you need, Jesse," Dean advises, but he knows that the boy isn't ready for war, so he leans down and whispers into his ear, "If you run, that's fine with me. Just stay safe."

Jesse looks up at Dean again when the demon backs off and nods his head quickly. He's up the stairs and out of sight by the time Sam fixes a questioning gaze on Dean.

"Think he's going to disappear?" Sam asks and gets a shrug as his reply, but he knows it's most probably a yes that Dean's trying to nonverbally communicate.

"Kid has the power to go wherever he wants and we can't stop him," the demon replies and looks at the mess they've made of the living room and Julia. He makes a soft sound to show that he's unimpressed and shrugs his shoulders before he's returning his attention to the stairs.

A few minutes later, after Dean's sure that Jesse's gone and disappeared on them to hide only he knows where, Castiel zaps himself into the house and fixes a gaze full of righteous fury on the demon.

"Hey, Cas," Dean greets nervously, backing away slowly from the more than irate angel, but quickly finds himself backed up against a wall.

Castiel snarls as he approaches Dean like a predator and has his hand wrapped around the demon's throat, choking off his air supply as he slams his head back against the wall. "How dare you use that spell on me," the angel growls feral, baring his teeth and puffing up his wings in a show of aggression.

Dean's eyes roll back a little, but he resists the urge to pass out and instead wraps his hands tight around Castiel's forearm. "He's…he's not going…to hurt anyone…Cas," he chokes out, his voice full of conviction even as he's being strangled and is struggling to push Castiel away.

"Cas! Let him go, please! We promise that Jesse won't do anything! He's a good kid! He knows what he's doing!" Sam pleads somewhat hysterically and tries to pull the angel off his brother at the same time.

"I know," Castiel admits and he deflates a little, but that's before he's pushing Sam off of him with his wings and he's pinning Dean up against the wall with a little more force. "But you, you will pay for what you've done."

Dean winces as his air supply is choked off again. "Go ahead…I deserve it…" he gasps out and grunts when Castiel slams his body hard against his own.

"One week, nonstop. Dry and no prepping," Castiel hisses against the shell of Dean's ear, making the demon shiver and his eyes widen in a mixture of fear and anticipation.

"You're going to kill me," Dean chuckles weakly, fear laced into his tone, but the next moment, he and Castiel are gone, leaving Sam to pick up the pieces alone.

* * *

><p><strong>Location: Unknown.<strong>

Dean comes to with chains holding his arms above his head and can feel that he's been left to rest on top of what feels like a chaotically organized gathering of sheets and clothes.

He's in a pitch black place that smells vaguely of rain and clouds, but also of sulfur. The place is warm, but feels damp, reminding him strongly of a volcanic cavern or a really stuffy basement.

The demon shivers when moist air brushes against his skin and he's made aware for the first time that he's naked.

"Shit," Dean curses quietly to himself and pulls at his chains. They don't burn him, so he doesn't think they're made of iron, but for some reason, he can't break them. He suspects that Castiel might have gotten some spell work done on them if the familiar feeling of etchings in metal hasn't hinted that enough.

"Cas, where the hell are you?" the demon groans softly, unable to see in the complete lack of light.

Dean can feel primal fear slowly creep into his bones and he doesn't like it one bit. His heart begins to race and he forces himself to close his eyes against the darkness, a flimsy shield from the reality around him.

He can't help but feel like he's been thrown back into the Pit, but it's worse because he's been robbed of even the light and the heat of the flames that had licked at his skin in Hell.

"Cas!" Dean cries out for his angel as his fear peaks and his body's gone rigid with it. But all the tension leaves him at once when he feels the brush of feathers against his chest and a gentle, but firm hand gripping his shoulder tight.

"I'm here, Dean," Castiel whispers into his demon's ear and settles between his lover's legs and rests his body against Dean's.

The moment is brief, however. And in the next moment, Dean's howling in pain as the angel pushes past the tight ring of muscle that separated him from his lover's tight heat in one swift, brutal thrust.

"I'm here," the angel growls low and drags his hands down to Dean's hips, gripping them with bruising force and forcing the writhing demon beneath him to lie still as he ravages his body.

"Fuck…fuck…_oh fuck_…_Cas_," Dean rasps out in a mixture of pain and pleasure between the angel's brutal thrusts that force all the air out of his lungs, so he's left struggling to get enough oxygen in the damp and warm air.

The demon grits his teeth against the searing heat in his nether regions, the flames of pain and pleasure consuming him alive and he feels like he's being bred like a bitch by his angel. The thought alone is enough to get Dean's body to heat up even more and he's almost seizing in ecstasy.

Castiel murmurs something in Enochian, but the words are almost unintelligible to Dean and he has no idea what they mean, can't even be bothered to figure out what they mean while his mind's in a sex induced haze. That is until he feels a cold band of metal sliding down his cock and squeezing him uncomfortably around the base.

Dean releases a frustrated keen at the feeling of the icy metal biting into his sensitive flesh. He tugs at his chains uselessly and makes a throaty whining sound like he's dying, but they both know that that's not the case.

"One week," Castiel whispers breathlessly into Dean's ear, letting up on his bruising grip and allowing his hands roam over the rest of Dean's body, memorizing it again while he reaps what's his from the demon's flesh.


	21. Don't Pity The Angels Who Cry

Never the Same

Part 21

Note: You have no idea how sorry I am. This is a sad excuse for a chapter. I lost all inspiration for 'Changing Channels.' I had something so amazing planned out at first, but then I thought it sounded like crap(and could be an entire story by itself), so I went for this instead. And it's still crap, but it's better…like a polished terd. I'm so sorry.

* * *

><p><strong>Location: Unknown. One Week After Alliance.<strong>

Dean releases a breathy whine as Castiel finally pulls out of his raw and aching body after rutting against him for what felt like years. But he still feels too full even though Castiel's not inside him anymore. Every nerve ending in Dean's body feels like it's on fire and is overly sensitive and just painful. To make things worse, the angel won't stop touching him and he can't stop moaning like a broken whore for Cas.

Castiel plays with Dean's body like it's a finely tuned instrument that he loves more than anything else in Creation.

"Dean," Castiel purrs against Dean's temple, his voice heavy with a mixture of exhaustion and grace-deep satisfaction. He's trailing his lips down the side of his neck and is petting down Dean's sides gently with feather light touches. He likes the demon's reaction. How he arches up against him, but then pulls back and whimpers because everything is too intense. More intense than Castiel's radiance when they first met down in the Pit.

The demon makes a rough and breathy sound that might be Castiel's nickname. He tugs weakly at the chains that are still binding his arms above his head despite the exhaustion and pain that are racking his body.

Castiel takes the hint and reaches up to release Dean from the enchanted bonds.

Dean makes a grateful purring noise as his arms are freed, but instead of letting them rest, he quickly wraps them around Castiel and pulls his angel close.

"_Cas_," the angel hears and feels Dean's murmur against his cheek as he plants a lazy, sloppy kiss. He's almost amused by how Dean's already wrapping himself around him again, pressing his warm body invitingly against his own.

But Castiel suddenly recoils violently. The feeling of the shattered fragments of Dean's humanity pressing against his own grace is too much for the angel and he panics. He pushes Dean away and stares wide eyed into the darkness before spreading his wings in the dank space and taking off.

Dean's left behind, alone and annoyed with a growing feeling of dissatisfaction swirling in the black smoke of his soul.

* * *

><p><strong>Location: Outside Sioux Falls, South Dakota - "The Nest." Eight Days After Alliance.<strong>

Dean returns to the run down manor his children have been calling home after the week is up.

He still has no idea where Castiel had zapped them for that week, but he knows that he shouldn't piss off an angel that knows all of the most sensitive areas on his body again.

His body is sore and he wants to do nothing more than get some decent rest. And he's honestly amazed that he can walk at all. Hell, he's on his last legs, but he forces himself to check in on his kids, having felt their pain and his own during the week Castiel had detained him.

Walking, more like limping, into the cold house, he feels a sense of relief and familiarity being around the other demons that he doesn't feel as strongly around Sam or Bobby anymore.

But when he sees only about twenty or so of the kids left with fear and sorrow radiating from their pitch black souls like radiation from Chernobyl, he's not that surprised.

Other demons and angels, Lucifer in particular, have recently acquired a taste for killing them and pushing Dean closer to his breaking point. And because of this, they've been forced into hiding like trapped rats, a situation Dean wishes he could amend, but knows that he can't. At least, not yet.

"Listen up," Dean speaks up once they've gathered in the dining room. His expression is grim and his eyes are dull, slowly losing their grassy green coloring in favor of a more sickly, acidic green-yellow. The dark lightning of the space does little to hide the fact that his eyes are glowing too.

"I know things are bad, but-" he starts only to be cut off by a silver tongue that's all too eager to wake the sleeping lion.

"But what, Dean? We're being killed left and right. Like lamb sent to the slaughter," a demon in a pretty brunette's body speaks up as she walks right up to the yellow eyed demon.

"I know that, Bela," Dean replies, his mood lifted minutely by Bela's ability to still treat him like some idiotic insect even as he forces her to sit with just a thought. "And like I was saying, I think you should all sit tight and hold down the fort. Me and Sam will find a way to take out the Devil and end this whole Apocalypse crap."

Bela literally growls at Dean as her eyes turn black and she struggles to break free of his mental hold on her. But Dean just watches this with mild amusement, because to him this is like watching a Chihuahua bark at you from the other side of a piece of glass after you've provoked the poor thing.

"Damn it, Winchester! I will not sit idly in this sad excuse for a shack and hide like a spineless coward just because you told me to, sire or not!" Bela bites out angrily, but flinches involuntarily when Dean fixes his gaze on her, the unnatural color of his eyes making her shiver in her meat suit.

"Well, Miss Talbot, if you don't want to just sit around, I suppose you could go dig up some information on Crowley's whereabouts. You did say you sold the Colt to him, correct?" Dean suggests, but his eyes are cold and his tone even colder as a twisted smile spreads across his lips.

Bela shrinks back in fear, her eyes quickly shifting back to the bright grey of her meat suit as she tries to make herself less visible in any way to the stronger demon. But it's not so much the power behind Dean's sickly yellow eyes that scares her. It is the feeling that he's not Dean Winchester, the man she had tried to murder in cold blood alongside his brother about two years back.

The other children seem to sense the change too and are quick to back away from their father, wanting to stay as far away from him as possible in case he suddenly lashes out.

But the oppressive aura that hung over the room is suddenly gone and Dean sits back, holding his head and shaking it lightly to clear up the fog that had clouded his mind for a moment.

"Ugh…sorry," Dean mumbles and continues to cradle his head gingerly. He barely manages to fix a single eye on Bela before he starts to speak again, "But, you should go track down Crowley, Bela. We need the Colt."

These are the last words Dean speaks to his children before he's headed up the stairs and holing up in his room to sleep. He'll check in with Bobby and Sam after he wakes up.

* * *

><p><strong>Location: Wellington, Ohio - Abandoned Warehouse. One Week Later.<strong>

Sam's taken the Impala and left Dean and Castiel behind back at the motel.

He's not sure what he saw them doing or what they were about to start, but he's more than glad that he chose to leave when he did. He honestly does not need anymore mental scarring. Sam believes he has more than enough for his lifetime and then some.

But he shakes his head. Clears it of the thoughts of his brother and Castiel that have been plaguing him for more than two weeks now and focuses on the task ahead of him.

He's somehow convinced Dean to let him check out the warehouse on his own to ask the Trickster for some help dealing with the whole Lucifer mess.

Sam knows it's a long shot, but he also knows that this Trickster is something more than just what he claims to be. After all, he and Gabriel have been keeping in contact since the last time they ran into him.

Sam had sensed it back then, the first time they met the him over three years ago, that something was off about the Trickster they had supposedly killed and his suspicions only continued to mount after the Tuesday Time Loop that he would much rather forget.

But Sam knows now that Gabriel is something special.

Gabriel was an Archangel. Well, he still technically is one. And he's also a younger brother to both Michael and Lucifer. But he is his own person and he has a heart. A cruel and often times capricious heart, but he has one, nonetheless.

Sam just never brought this up to Dean because Gabriel had made him promise not to mention it to anyone. And even if Gabriel hadn't made him promise, Sam likes to think that he wouldn't mention it anyways, because this is something he can call his own.

And now that Dean has Castiel, they're kind of even. They each have their own Heaven-sent guardian angel. Even if Gabriel is a lot tougher than your average angel.

"Are you just going to stand there and stare at that wall all day?" a familiar snarky voice questions from behind Sam and the younger of the Winchester brothers is turning to face the owner.

A smile settles onto Sam's lips at the sight of the clearly older and much shorter man looking up at him with a playful smirk while he holds a freshly opened chocolate bar in his hand.

"It's been a long time," Sam greets the Archangel, though there's a tinge of sadness to his tone.

Gabriel straightens his posture at the hint of sorrow in the moose's voice and frowns. "Stop beating yourself up over Luci getting out. It was inevitable. God planned it all out way before you were even a twinkle in your daddy's eye. One big brawl to end all of Creation…and Lucifer and Michael's bitching at one another," he finishes with an exasperated sigh and a vague hand gesture with a meaning that only Gabriel understands.

But it's obvious that Sam still feels the burden of the Apocalypse weighing down on his mortal shoulders and this draws out another sigh from the Trickster. Gabriel takes a bite out of his chocolate bar and looks at Sam with a contemplative expression as he chews his sweet treat slowly.

"I just can't do it, Gabriel," Sam finally speaks up and the Archangel looks at the human with interest.

Sam looks down at the ground and clenches his fists, his entire posture going tense. "I can't say 'yes' to Lucifer. I can't kill Dean. I-I don't want to kill my brother, even if he is a dick sometimes. I love my brother, Gabriel," he laments as he raises his head and looks at the Archangel with his eyes red and on the verge of tears. "This is all my fault. If I had just listened to Dean. Trusted him like I always did, this could have been stopped."

Gabriel watches silently as Sam Winchester breaks down, revealing the broken boy beneath the hard exterior he had been forced to make for himself. Sam looks almost as broken as Dean and this makes him pause in his eating. He just doesn't have it in him to continue eating when there's a soul, lovingly created by his Father and stained but still radiant, crying out in front of him.

"What part of inevitable don't you understand? It was preordained, Sam. It's destiny. This is what Fate had planned out for you and Dean," Gabriel states bluntly, knowing he has to get this point through Sam's thick skull because no matter how smart he may be, he could be just as pig headed as his brother.

"Is that why you avoided me after Dean died? So that I could jump start all of this?" the human suddenly asks, his voice full of accusation and hurt.

Gabriel freezes at the question, his grace stilling momentarily in it's ever cycling race through his vessel. But he slowly relaxes and closes his eyes. He's been caught and there's no denying that that was exactly what he did.

"I just wanted my brothers to stop fighting," the Trickster tries to reason with Sam, but his voice wavers and lacks the conviction he had meant to put in it.

"I left Heaven because I couldn't take them fighting anymore," Gabriel continues as his shoulders sag with the weight of millennia of grief and heartache and he looks to Sam, pleading silently with tired hazel eyes for Sam to just understand.

* * *

><p><strong>Location: Wellington, Ohio - Motel. Thirty Minutes Earlier.<strong>

"Why are we letting him go out there alone?" Dean asks a few minutes after Sam's departure. He's beginning to feel restless again, his own instincts and Lucifer's whispers keeping him on edge and making him want to run out and make sure Sam is alright.

Castiel is carefully avoiding contact with Dean and has been for the last hour since he showed up at the motel.

"Do you not find that Trickster strange?" the angel replies with a question of his own and moves to the opposite end of the bed they're using as a seat when Dean tries to touch him.

"Strange how?" Dean grinds out, frustrated that his angel is refusing to touch him after that god damned, but heavenly, week they spent together.

Again Castiel is scooting away from Dean as the demon continues to try and make contact.

"He's too powerful. He can't be a normal trickster," Castiel continues, but sighs and finally stands when he has nowhere else to move on the bed, only to be pulled back forcefully by one of his wings.

A low growl rumbles in Dean's chest and he's baring his teeth like a predator ready to strike as he pins Castiel underneath him and holds him there.

"Stop running away from me," the demon growls, hurt and confusion mixed in with the sound, but Castiel's looking up at him with defiance and anger in his bright blue eyes.

However, the hardness of Castiel's eyes slowly softens as the angel notices Dean's distress and the faintest hint of tears beginning to form in his lover's sad green eyes. His anger leaves him in a long, stuttering sigh and he reaches up with unsteady hands to cup Dean's face in them.

"I'm not ready," Castiel breathes the words out hesitantly.

He feels a stab of pain in his chest when Dean pulls away from him, but he catches a glimpse of the demon's wry smile and suddenly feels even worse for what he's done.

"I can't wait forever, Cas," Dean sighs, but relaxes into the feeling of Castiel's wing wrapping around him like a feathery shroud.

"You won't have to, Dean. If we fail to stop Lucifer, the Earth will only last for one more year, at most," the angel jokes bitterly and he tilts his head back, looking up at the ceiling and past it, a sad smile gracing his lips. Castiel is searching for answers that are now out of his grasp.

Dean reluctantly pulls away from the warmth of Castiel's wing and stands. He looks down at the digital alarm clock on the night stand and snorts softly.

"I think we've given them enough time," the demon speaks up with a confident grin painted across his face. It doesn't quite reach his eyes, but they both ignore it and move on to their next destination.

* * *

><p><strong>Location: Wellington, Ohio - Abandoned Warehouse. Present.<strong>

"So you ran away," a very familiar voice calls out from the other end of the warehouse and both Sam and Gabriel are looking at the newcomer in shock.

"Dean?" Sam asks, confused and honestly surprised that his brother popped in, but he pauses and leans to the side slightly, just barely spotting the angel standing behind him. "Castiel?"

"Hello, Sam. Gabriel," Castiel nods a greeting, doing a fairly good job of hiding his shock at finding his long lost brother, alive and doing more than well from the looks of it.

"Hello, baby bro," Gabriel chirps in a sing song tone, though his expression is anything but cheery. If it had to be described, it would be stormy.

The entire warehouse is suddenly filled with tension so thick Sam is beginning to find it really hard to breathe. And being the only human in the building isn't exactly a comforting thought, even if he is, physically, the largest occupant.

Dean takes a step forward, but doesn't advance any further when he receives a warning glare from Gabriel. And though the glare should terrify him, he just throws on a confident smirk and stares down the Archangel.

"I should have known you weren't just a trickster. You were a fucking angel the whole time," the demon sneers, his eyes flickering to marble yellow and then back to acid green. "And Sammy. Hiding secrets again, I see."

Dean's tone is bitter and it sets Sam on edge. He feels like he's losing Dean to the darkness inside of him. Or maybe he's already lost him and Sam is just denying the evidence standing in front of him.

Just as Sam is about to speak again, Gabriel stops him, smacking his hand against Sasquatch's chest as the Archangel moves to stand in front of him.

"Don't get your panties in a twist, Deano. I made little Sammy here promise not to tell a soul. And you know how Archangels can be when it comes to wrath," Gabriel's tone is friendly and playful, but he lowers his head and shifts so that his posture is telegraphing his readiness to attack if needed.

Castiel's eyes widen momentarily, instinctual fear running through him at the sight of an Archangel ready for battle. But he forces the fear back and takes his place beside Dean and stands ready. His angel killing sword slides easily into his hand, though he knows that it will be useless against the higher ranking angel.

The tension in the building continues to rise and heat up until Sam feels like he's going to snap. And he does.

"Everyone just chill out!" Sam yells and all of three of the supernatural creatures flinch at the booming sound of his voice.

"You're all acting like two year olds! Fucking bickering and posturing like a pair of proud peacocks. Act your own age and species and just sit down and talk for God's sake!" the younger Winchester continues with his tirade and hardly stops for a breath. But after he's done, he pales with the realization of what he's just done and backs away from Gabriel. The only thing that actually stops him from running is an invisible wall of what feels like feathers blocking his path.

Laughter suddenly breaks out. Loud, booming and joyous laughs that bounce off of the walls and feel like they might just start to shake the building. The sounds originate from both Gabriel and Dean, who seem to be enjoying themselves far more than they should.

"Best bitch face ever!" Dean cackles, doubled over from laughing so hard and struggling to catch his breath.

Castiel is confused and briefly worried for Dean's well being. In his opinion, the man is laughing a little too hard.

"Agreed," Gabriel chuckles, wiping tears from his eyes as he uses his wings to push Sam towards Castiel and Dean.

Sam isn't amused at all by the laughter that is apparently directed at him and just makes an angry bitch face and blushes as he's forced to walk forward.

"You're both dicks," he mutters under his breath and stops in front of Dean with Gabriel standing a few steps behind him.

But Sam finds that he can't look into his brother's eyes. They're not the same hazel green he grew up seeing and finds it hard to see his brother in those sickly, acid colored eyes.

Dean is looking up at Sam though and it's easy to see his baby brother's discomfort. It hurts him to see his brother like this, but at the same time, Dean is ever so slowly losing the ability to really care what Sam thinks of him. And that scares Dean a little, because it means that he's slipping further away from what he wants to be. Sam's brother and his protector.

"Buck up, Sammy," Gabriel speaks up when no one else does and takes a step closer to the group when he doesn't get a hostile reaction from the yellow eyed demon.

Castiel relaxes his previously tense shoulders and banishes his weapon as he looks to his older brother with tired blue eyes. "Gabriel, are you willing to help us stop Lucifer?" he asks in his gravelly voice and reaches out with a hesitant wing in an attempt to reconnect with one of his kin.

Gabriel looks to the wing that's the same color as the hair on Castiel's vessel and returns the gesture, brushing one of his numerous cream colored wings against the smaller one. He almost smiles at how hopeful his youngest brother looks, but he quickly pulls back and shakes his head.

"I can't do that to my brother, Castiel. You know that," the Archangel states in a mournful tone and looks away from the sad expression Castiel is now wearing.

"You damn coward," Dean snarls, his body going tense again in reaction to the sorrow he sees in Castiel's eyes. He feels fiery wrath slowly burning away in his gut, but he forces himself to stay back.

"You can't keep running away from your problems forever! Because whether you like it or not, those are your brothers out there trying to destroy the world! Tell me you're honestly alright with that!" the demon roars, going red in the face and clenching his hands into tight fists at his sides.

"Shut up! You don't understand a thing, you worthless excuse for a demon! You don't know what it's like to watch your brothers fight and your father do nothing to stop them! You didn't have to watch as one brother damned another to an eternity in the cruelest part of Hell!" Gabriel bellows and without his consent, tears begin to fall from his eyes and his chest aches with long buried pain and heartache. After he's finished, he's panting and shaking, barely holding back the broken sobs that want to come out so badly.

Time comes to a stand still after a loud smack rings in the air. Dean's fist is clenched tight in front of him, his arm extended out in a punch and Gabriel's head has whipped to the side with the force of the impact. Both parties seem surprised to be feeling pain.

Dean slowly pulls his arm back to his side, resisting the urge to shake the stinging pain away. He forces himself to stand tall as he looks down at the Archangel.

"You're right. I may not know what it feels like to be the one on the sidelines, but I do know what it's like to be one of the brothers fighting. And you can't really complain either, Gabriel, because you don't know what it's like to have everyone breathing down your neck. Telling you that you're part of some great big plan and that you have to kill the brother you've raised since he was just a baby and couldn't even take care of himself. You don't know what that feels like," the demon seethes, his voice low and quiet, barely a whisper. But he's calm and looking down at Gabriel with sympathetic eyes that make the Archangel burn with shame.

Dean sighs softly when Gabriel remains frozen to the spot. He feels that the Archangel won't be talking to him anymore and he doesn't really mind. He has nothing else to say to him anyways.

"Let's go," Dean speaks the words carefully and steps around the Archangel. He doesn't look back as he, Castiel, and Sam exit the warehouse, leaving Gabriel alone.


	22. Extra: Changing Channels Reject

Never the Same

Part 21 Rejected Version

* * *

><p><strong>Location: Outside Sioux Falls, South Dakota - "The Nest." One Week After Alliance.<strong>

Dean returns to the run down manor his children have been calling home, though he still has no idea where Castiel had zapped them. He just knows that he shouldn't piss off an angel that knows all of the most sensitive areas on his body again.

His body is sore and he wants to do nothing more than rest. He's honestly amazed that he can walk at all. Hell, he's on his last legs, but he forces himself to check in on his kids, having felt their pain and his own during the week Castiel had detained him.

Walking, more like limping, into the cold house, he feels a sense of relief and familiarity being around the other demons that he doesn't feel as strongly around Sam or Bobby anymore.

But when he sees only about twenty or so of the kids left with fear and sorrow radiating from their pitch black souls like radiation from Chernobyl, he's not that surprised.

Other demons and angels, Lucifer in particular, have recently acquired a taste for killing them and pushing Dean closer to his breaking point. And because of this, they've been forced into hiding like trapped rats, a situation Dean wishes he could amend, but knows that he can't. At least, not yet.

"Listen up," Dean speaks up once they've gathered in the dining room. His expression is grim and his eyes are dull, slowly losing their grassy green coloring in favor of a more sickly, acidic green-yellow. The dark lightning of the space does little to hide the fact that his eyes are glowing too.

"I know things are bad, but-" he starts only to be cut off by a silver tongue that's all too eager to wake the sleeping lion.

"But what, Dean? We're being killed left and right. Like lamb sent to the slaughter," a demon in a pretty brunette's body speaks up as she walks right up to the yellow eyed demon.

"I know that, Bela," Dean replies, his mood lifted minutely by Bela's ability to still treat him like some idiotic insect even as he forces her to sit with just a thought. "And like I was saying, I think you should all sit tight and hold down the fort. Me and Sam will find a way to take out the Devil and end this whole Apocalypse crap."

Bela literally growls at Dean as her eyes turn black and she struggles to break free of his mental hold on her. But Dean just watches this with mild amusement, because to him this is like watching a Chihuahua bark at you from the other side of a piece of glass after you've provoked the poor thing.

"Damn it, Winchester! I will not sit idly in this sad excuse for a shack and hide like a spineless coward just because you told me to, sire or not!" Bela bites out angrily, but flinches involuntarily when Dean fixes his gaze on her, the unnatural color of his eyes making her shiver in her meat suit.

"Well, Miss Talbot, if you don't want to just sit around, I suppose you could go dig up some information on Crowley's whereabouts. You did say you sold the Colt to him, correct?" Dean suggests, but his eyes are cold and his tone even colder as a twisted smile spreads across his lips.

Bela shrinks back in fear, her eyes quickly shifting back to the bright hazel of her meat suit as she tries to make herself less visible in any way to the stronger demon. But it's not so much the power behind Dean's sickly yellow eyes that scares her. It is the feeling that he's not Dean Winchester, the man she had tried to murder in cold blood alongside his brother about two years back.

The other children seem to sense the change too and are quick to back away from their father, wanting to stay as far away from him as possible in case he suddenly lashes out.

But the oppressive aura that hung over the room is suddenly gone and Dean sits back, holding his head and shaking it lightly to clear up the fog that had clouded his mind for a moment.

"Ugh…sorry," Dean mumbles and continues to cradle his head gingerly. He barely manages to fix a single eye on Bela before he starts to speak again, "But, you should go track down Crowley, Bela. We need the Colt."

These are the last words Dean speaks to his children before he's headed up the stairs and holing up in his room to sleep.

* * *

><p><strong>Location: Las Vegas, Nevada - On the Road.<strong>

He's not sure how long he's been driving, but it feels like hours, or maybe days. He's not sure anymore. But he does know that he's in bad shape and that he needs help. He just doesn't know where to get it.

"Shit," he breathes out, clutching one hand tight to his bloody side while the other has the steering wheel in a white knuckled grip. He's having trouble keeping his eyes focused on the dark road.

As far as he can remember, he's only stopped to refill the gas tank whenever it ran low. Other than that, he just remembers driving. Long stretches of driving, trying to get away from somewhere. But he's not sure from where or why anymore.

Suddenly the jeep's engine makes a lurching sound and heaves a heavy clunk that doesn't sound good at all.

"No. No, god damn it, no!" he hisses as he slams a fist against the steering wheel and forces himself to get out of the car. He's pale and shaky once he's out of the driver's seat. He's lost too much blood and he thinks his wound might be infected, but he doesn't care. He just needs to keep moving. Just needs to get away.

"Are you alright?" a voice with a thick Russian accent calls out from behind him.

He turns to face the stranger, but the movement is too much and he hisses in pain just before he falls to the ground in an unconscious heap.

* * *

><p><strong>Location: Las Vegas, Nevada - Unknown.<strong>

He's thrown back into awareness by a white hot pain burning in his side that leaves him screaming in agony. He tries to get away from it, from the pain, but a firm hand is keeping him down and he's too tired to fight against it.

"Where are my clothes?" Tom manages to slur out, noticing that the miner's jumper he had been wearing for the longest time was suddenly gone.

"Relax. I have cleaned them. Your wound, however, needs to be checked," the same voice he heard before he passed out is speaking to him again and he can only nod weakly in response.

Intense blue eyes look up at him for a moment before settling back on the angry, red gunshot wound in his side.

"You…what is your name?" the stranger asks as he focuses on the hole in the man's side and pokes around the area cautiously.

He hisses as the dark haired stranger pokes at his injury, but he grits his teeth and forces out a reply, "Tom. Tom Hanniger."

The Russian looks up at Tom with a raised brow, thinking the name sounds familiar, but he's not sure where he's heard it before.

"You may call me Vlad," he offers in reply and shifts so that he's standing now, making Tom realize that he's actually lying down on something kind of soft. Probably a couch or something since it's not soft enough to be a bed.

"Lie still. I will call for help," Vlad speaks up again, but pauses when he catches fear and anxiety flare up in Tom's almost jade green eyes.

"No! Don't. Please don't call the cops or an ambulance or anyone," Tom pleads as he attempts to push himself up, but fails and falls back with a pained groan.

Vlad sets his hands on his hips as he looks down at the injured man and sighs heavily. "Very well. I shall have to fix you myself then. Do not move," he commands and walks out of the small living room of his apartment, grabbing the supplies he'll need. They're mostly simple things. A pen knife, some dental floss, a sewing needle, and an extra bottle of vodka. The vodka is mostly for himself, but he does not mind sharing if he needs to.

Tom watches Vlad leave and return with an armful of various items that his vision is really too blurry to pick out. But he thinks he recognizes a bottle of alcohol.

"I told you not to move," Vlad berates sternly and sets down his items before he's forcing Tom to lie back again. He pauses and looks around the room for a moment, but frowns faintly when he doesn't find what he seems to be looking for. The dark haired man sighs as he kneels again and reaches into his back pocket.

"Bite down on this," he instructs Tom as he shoves his wallet between the man's teeth. Vlad gives Tom a few moments to calm down and breathe, but after that, he's setting to work, pouring vodka into the wound to clean it out.

He listens to Tom's grunts of pain and is surprised that the man, who is as tense as a bow ready to fire, hasn't passed out again. But he pushes the thought aside and sighs softly as he takes the sewing needle and dental floss in hand. The bullet had gone straight through so he didn't need the pen knife to dig it out and instead just stitched the man up as well as he could in his circumstance. It was a little difficult with Tom's body trembling the entire time, but he somehow manages and finishes.

Tom spits out the wallet clench between his teeth. His breathing is harsh and labored by the time Vlad finishes stitching him up, but he's grateful and worn out and his vision is blurring badly.

"Th-thanks," he barely manages to croak out before he's out like a light.

* * *

><p>So, basic run down of what would have been 'Changing Channels':<p>

Characters:

Dean- Tom Hanniger

Sam- Clay Miller

Castiel- Vlad

Summary: After experimenting for a few days, Gabriel figures out that the fastest way to get to Dean is through Castiel. So, taking advantage of that, the Trickster uses his powers and takes all three of the boys into his alternate reality, replacing their names and memories with those of people who never existed.

Tom Hanniger, on the run from something he can't remember, falls under the care of Vlad, a Russian immigrant who works as a clerk at a local salon. Over the coming weeks, the two form a strong bond and affection for one another.

In comes Clay Miller, who might be the something Tom was running from. Clay kidnaps Vlad and takes him to an abandoned camp ground where he forces Tom to fight him to save his boyfriend's life. But at the last moment, right when Tom is about to strike the final death blow, he remembers who is is and calls out Sam's name just as Clay runs him through with a machete.

Unsatisfied with the outcome, Gabriel resets everything every time his game reaches this conclusion until finally the boys figure out something is very wrong and break free of their spell just as Clay enters the scene.

As I said, it would have been horrendously long and drawn out. But if you know where each of the characters come from, I'll give you a gold star and a hug.


End file.
